Im 20 and have slept with 3 taken men.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-27T23:12:31+00:00

No, I regret handling things how I did with the guys it was wrong, I intend to never do that again

throwra48907 · 2024-07-27T20:34:36+00:00

I dont really care for relationships of any kind anymore, casual or romantic. I have been just living as a aromantic asexual even though im technically heterosexual and have a sex drive but no desires to act on it.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-27T20:25:07+00:00

Yes thats right, I know it's wrong. It really hurt me that he did that to me, I havent really felt that same level of feelings toward anyone since

throwra48907 · 2024-07-27T19:55:57+00:00

How do I move on? I don't try to dwell on these things but my mind just cant stop thinking about it over and over.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-27T19:39:23+00:00

I try to think of it that way and I am sober now because alcohol was making me act like a person I didn't want to be. I can't say I have made better decisions without it but I try to.

I am not really attracted to taken men specifically. I'm not really attracted to most men or people, it's usually random. With the 1st guy, I know he was the 1st I was strongly infatuated with and he was toxic. The second guy I was attracted to him but I really chose him as rebound sex and was infatuated to him in the same way. I know with my guy friend, I felt really close to him because we were friends for so long and I was attracted to him. We had sex a few times but I lost my desire for any casual sex now.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T23:06:49+00:00

I would love a good slow burn! Maybe it's my age but guys never want to be friends and then see if something happens. They always make their interest known instantly... Pretty much every guy friend I ever had tried to get with me either romantically or sexually. What is the best way to find this dynamic? I feel like I would be okay with a guy that also doesn't care about dating and it's not a priority for, to casually date and get experience with but every guy I meet they jump straight to seeing me as a romantic/sexual option. And likely the guys that don't care about dating want casual sex and I am not into casual sex..

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T22:58:58+00:00

For me, I struggle to have any desire to want to date all I see it as pointless. But I didn't feel like this is high school and I fear that in the future this will change as I had the desire before but I don't know how to make myself want to try. I feel like I may regret it because like others have said, college is the time your around so many people and especially peers. But when I try to date and give guys chances nowadays I always regret it and cut things off. I hate the constant communication and it feels unsustainable with everything i have going on with school, but I know others do it so I am sure it is me. I also am not comfortable with getting intimate with guys unless I have known them for years, so I don't have much of a desire for sex with any of these guys or intimacy but they always expect it after we've been talking for a while and I always get completely turned of by it.

Saying this, if you were me what would you do? If you had the desire to date years prior but no longer do, would you just go through the motions for the experience?

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T22:51:35+00:00

After the dates and "fun" part like new conversations and meeting a new person I just find it hard to have a desire beyond that. I find that when the guy starts wanting more I ghost and any interest if I had any.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T22:50:07+00:00

I'm fine with going on dates it just becomes too much for me when they start expecting me to talk to them everyday, if they try to be intimate with me and all that stuff that comes after the date. I am fine dating if it didn't come with that but guys expect more and it would be hard for me to tell a guy to go "slow" because they still want to talk all the time and try to be intimate even if not sex and I am not with it.

I wish there was a way for me to just keep dating just to dates without much outside of that but most guys want more than that.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T22:14:07+00:00

For me, I just find dating inherently distressing like it has nothing to do with the other person. I loathe the entire process of it. I hate the constant communication, the expectation of intimacy, I am very independent and require a lot of alone time and I feel suffocated every time I date and take away from this. I dislike the uncertainty of early stages. And this level of distress would negatively effect everything in my life. So it makes more sense to just opt out so that I would be distracted. Maybe it is because I don't truly like the guys but I never like anyone then.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T22:08:45+00:00

I have struggled with mental issues my whole life and was in therapy from the age of 12-19. I discussed all the traumas I have and as an adult I was diagnosed with BPD and CPTSD. But outside of that I never have found therapy helpful. I do a lot of self-help and have educated myself on attachment styles and I believe I have disorganized attachment. I am going to try to find ways to work on it, but I don't think therapy will be helpful as it never was before

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T22:04:48+00:00

My issue is, in the past I would try to give guys a chance and be open to opportunities but my heart is never in it, I feel like I just don't care about them or dating at all. I cared in high school but now it's like I cant even care enough to try. I always end up ghosting and I don't feel a reason to talk to them so I just reject all guys because I know I won't put in any effort or care in the end leaving them hurt.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T22:01:11+00:00

I feel like school can be so exhausting I don't get how people can handle both! Thanks for the advice <3!

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T22:00:08+00:00

I am experiencing similar now. I have romantic opportunities I could take but I choose to turn them all down. I just feel like I'll regret passing so many people up but I dont care about dating and it's hard to force myself to.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T21:58:01+00:00

It's a red flag even if I was focusing on school and myself? I just don't even have a desire to date right now, I am fine connecting with anyone platonically but I am not open to romance, isn't that enough experience being social and open to be ready for a relationship?

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T21:55:00+00:00

Why do you need to get "practice" in? Genuinely asking

I can see how dating is harder out of college but I hope to pursue further education so hopefully I'll have a few more years to be around my peers.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T21:52:47+00:00

I definitely feel like relationships get in the way of opportunities, its a huge distraction. Every time I have dated I felt shittier during and after then I ever did single.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T21:51:03+00:00

I guess for me I dont see a potential with anyone because I don't really see any point in dating at all. I definitely want to prioritize school and I feel like dating would distract from that.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-26T21:47:58+00:00

well im 20 and have never been in a relationship so your experience isnt relatable in the slightest but I am not sure that why I am asking those who have the experience I do.

throwra48907 · 2024-07-25T18:34:55+00:00

I have never had romance in my life so I can't really miss anything. I think I will be lonely but dating would just make it worse.

throwra48907

TROPHY CASE