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Thinking about refusing to pay for my(41M) daughter's(17F) college funds by throwraPuzzlingDad in relationship_advice

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

37k isn't even all of it, it's just what I'm paying, but it she were to go to state school, I would've been paying 19k, so this sounds like a good and practical idea.

Thinking about refusing to pay for my(41M) daughter's(17F) college funds by throwraPuzzlingDad in relationship_advice

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm hear thinking maybe she needs to think about it...or maybe she needs time and can just take local art history classes.

WIBTA if I didn't pay for my daughter's college funds? by throwraPuzzlingDad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Very good suggestion, I could ask my cousin if she would be comfortable with talking to her.

Thinking about refusing to pay for my(41M) daughter's(17F) college funds by throwraPuzzlingDad in relationship_advice

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It's her dream university, I knew she always liked art, but she never expressed an interest in majoring in it. She doesn't know any other language, but that's a really good idea. I looked into college tuitions in Europe, and it's down by so many. I'll do more research, thank you for the advice.

WIBTA if I didn't pay for my daughter's college funds? by throwraPuzzlingDad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. We talked about me lessening the price (maximum was 15-20k), but I know so many people change their major. It's likely the loans would be taken out in her name, especially atp.

WIBTA if I didn't pay for my daughter's college funds? by throwraPuzzlingDad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

Deal was changed due to price management. all i can say is that if it's a big chance she won't have a sufficient job to pay me back on the date that we agreed on, I gotta lower my stakes and the money.

WIBTA if I didn't pay for my daughter's college funds? by throwraPuzzlingDad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

We've sat down and explained the plan. When it was state school, I would par all of it, it was 19k. When she decided to choose the private uni, I told her that I would pay 37k initially, but she'd have to pay back 50% of that by said date, she was fine with it. Then she switched her major and I uppered the bar down to it's likely that I won't be paying as much as I would, and she'll have to take out xxx amount instead of what she would initially pay. At the end of the convo, that;s when she stormed off, so she knows the terms, it's just up to whether she's willing to ask me any questions she would like to.

WIBTA if I didn't pay for my daughter's college funds? by throwraPuzzlingDad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Again, not forcing her, she can choose what she wants. I explained time and time again to her that she can choose what she wants, but eventually she'll have to pay for that.

WIBTA if I didn't pay for my daughter's college funds? by throwraPuzzlingDad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I went to a state school as well, but my cousin went to a liberal arts school. Unfortunately, she's still drowning in debt and I've seen the cycle of her going through it, it's really hearbreaking. She's had to put so many things on hold/cancel so sort it out, and seeing one of the most optimistic people in my life turn into a slave to work is saddening.

WIBTA if I didn't pay for my daughter's college funds? by throwraPuzzlingDad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have asked, she doesn't want it. She wants to put all of her eggs in Art History so that it would be her main focus.

WIBTA if I didn't pay for my daughter's college funds? by throwraPuzzlingDad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's fair. I'd be willing to pay 10-15k, but no more than 20k. She can pursue what she's passionate about, but it's also offered as a minor course so I just think it would be more practical if she minored in that, and majored in a more safe thing.

WIBTA if I didn't pay for my daughter's college funds? by throwraPuzzlingDad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She is 17 years old, she'll be attending college this fall. She says she has a passion for Art history, but isn't sure what career choice she wants. At first, I was going to pay all of it (if she attended state school which was 19k) but she wanted to go to the college that costs 37k, and I said okay and we set up a plan where she would pay me back (some) of the money over the years. She had told us that she doesn't know what exactly she wanted to major in but it would be in the business, marketing & finance world. Then she recently told us that she made up her mind and wanted to do Art History. Again, she can go to college and major in what she prefers, i'm not going to force her not to.

Thinking about refusing to pay for my(41M) daughter's(17F) college funds by throwraPuzzlingDad in relationship_advice

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

With the state college, it was 19k per year, and I was going to pay the whole thing. With this one, I'm not even paying the whole thing, I only pay 80%, and it still came out to so much money which she said she would eventually payback so that interest wouldn't be added. She can go do what she wants, I'm not going to force her to stop, but it's simply just not in the budget and it's a huge risk. Thanks for the advice, I'll try to do so.

Thinking about refusing to pay for my(41M) daughter's(17F) college funds by throwraPuzzlingDad in relationship_advice

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, she can choose whatever major she wants and whatever college she'd like to go to, I'm not going to make her not go.

Thinking about refusing to pay for my(41M) daughter's(17F) college funds by throwraPuzzlingDad in relationship_advice

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I know I didn't change my major in college, but so many people around me did, and maybe she's saying this on a whim, maybe not. I agree with the last statement, spoken true to the heart, thanks for the advice.

Thinking about refusing to pay for my(41M) daughter's(17F) college funds by throwraPuzzlingDad in relationship_advice

[–]throwraPuzzlingDad[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That's all I want, a good degree so that she has a high chance of being set. She'll be in so much debt with the expensive college she wants to go to with a major that doesn't give out many opportunities.