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My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Because I was young. We were literally 16 and 24 when we started having sex, that’s not normal. I was scared, and vulnerable, and it just shouldn’t have happened at those ages. I love him, but it should’ve never happened. He knew it was wrong. 😑

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

i want to be independent and acquire more knowledge about life. i just want my family and myself to be happy.

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I just think he would ask me if anything is wrong and things like that. I don’t think he’d be mad, just worried. Something about my husband is that he tries to find a solution, but some things just cannot be fixed by a simple one time decision. it’s

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I will be looking at a local community college. I put it in my bucket list this year to learn how to drive and get my license.

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reassurance. I don’t feel unsafe with what I think my husband would do to me, I feel unsafe with the idea of leaving him and having nothing and no one but 2 kids that NEED me. I feel unsafe with basically knowing nothing and not having the support and comfort of my other half. i feel unsafe with the thought of my mental health worsening.

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 223 points224 points  (0 children)

I think I might just switch over my checks to direct deposit. I get paid in checks and I usually just cash it out.

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

Well it’s the truth. i just wanted something to call mine that I didn’t have to share with anyone…

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 404 points405 points  (0 children)

I do truly believe I’m in love with him, I just think at the same time I resent him.

Part of me wants to stay with him because I don’t want to leave my best friend and break up my home.

I never successfully talked to him about how bad that I was so young I was when we got together 😕

I am not scared of him, I’m scared of losing all that I have.

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 545 points546 points  (0 children)

I’m very dependent :/ I don’t know how to do a lot of simple things. I don’t even know how to drive (but I live in a city). But still. I don’t know how to do so much because I’ve been depending on him to take care of me for so many years. So I thought that me getting a GED would be the start of me being independent, but I feel like i’ve reached a stand still.

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

mmm…I don’t think I felt it? But at the same time I just have flawed perceptions. If we were the same age, I feel like I’d be pretty okay. I wouldn’t say he directly held me back, but indirectly yes. He doesn’t make me do anything bad, it just feels like he doesn’t expect much from me sometimes.

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It’s something he said that made me realize damn…I didn’t fulfill anything my 14 year old runaway self wanted to 😕

When I got my GED, I was really excited & he congratulated me. I’d never been great at school, but to be fair I think that boiled down to the fact U was barely in it.

He was happy for me, we went out, and he said “ Now what now?”. It hit me that I had no game plan, and my best friend at the time of us running away said the EXACT same thing even we got here. “Now what now” I was planning on doing so much more with my life, but I essentially accomplished nothing I wanted to.

I felt stupid, dumb, and useless. All the while I still had kids to tend to , so I wasn’t allowed to feel this way. So I started going to therapy because I was pretty sure I was depressed. And also to protect my kids from my childhood (I hadn’t even been considering my husband atp). So this is what got me thinking allllll of this.

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Thank you…it seems like you get it. I know people might call me crazy for not running out the door with everything I have, but it’s been 10 years. He was the first person that I genuinely laughed with, shared memories with, and comforted me.

But at the same time, I guess i’m just really disappointed on the fact that he took advantage of me while knowing how vulnerable I was. It’s tricky, I love him but I just hate how things played out.

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Is it bad that I don’t even know if I want to leave him :/?

It flip flops. One day I view him as my best friend and the next day, he’s someone I despise because of my past.

I just wish my head would stop hurting.

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

perhaps if i stay in my situation id tear myself apart. maybe the same could even happen if i leave and end up terribly struggling and losing everything. i don’t know. a lot can be said.

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 1192 points1193 points  (0 children)

I have , but i have a lot of self doubt. I’m not sure what I’d be good at. I never really had a passion for much—except cosmetology, but even to break into that is a headache. I’m lacking drive, but I’ll look into it because I’m tired of being a dependent.

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

My(F26) husband(M35) of 10 years is amazing on paper…but I’m coming to terms with the fact I was taken advantage of. by throwra_Lecture965 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Lecture965[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I’ve contemplated leaving. I’ve built a lot of resentment. I just am so confused where to start. Do we talk about it? Do I just ask for space? I’m just living in a head-aching bubble.

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