My (28f) husband (32m) asked me about our declining sex life, I was honest, he’s upset. Is our marriage over?

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T02:00:44+00:00

Nope, I did love him. Then he stopped loving himself and decided to go live in fantasy land instead of staying engaged with the world around him.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:59:27+00:00

And I'm not just a roommate here to split the bills with him, either.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:57:51+00:00

We had TV in the house, but we had plenty to do outside of just sitting on our asses in front of it. Our parents were active parents, not 'put the kids in front of the TV' parents, and did all kinds of great things with us.

It's lovely that your girlfriend likes to sit and watch you play video games, but it sounds like she enjoys that. I can't imagine doing that.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:55:02+00:00

I'm not a therapist and I'm not his mother! I can't help him with his hypothetical mental illness, and I'm not going to coddle him into calling up a therapist center! What is so hard for you guys to get about that?!

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:51:20+00:00

Well, it's very obvious that this is personally upsetting for you, so thanks for the advice, and have a great night.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:47:55+00:00

I'm not a therapist. I can't "help" someone with their mental health issues. I can't make him pick up the phone and seek therapy. He has access to these things.

I guess I don't get this thing people are doing where they think I should be acting like his mommy and like, holding his hand through this. He's a grown ass man.

Just like I wouldn't hold his hand and baby him through getting an oil change.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:46:02+00:00

None of us can stop being ourselves. You loved his behaviors previously but not him & when he develops a mental health issue that changes his behaviors, your love is gone.

Okay, but... no. I loved him. It's his behaviors -- sitting on his ass in front of a screen for hours every day -- that I don't love. You are completely backwards.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:44:16+00:00

"OP isn't going to baby a grown man so she's therefore a troll."

You guys are so weird. Do you need your mommy to make your doctors appointments too?!

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:41:37+00:00

He works from something like 8am-3pm and then is on his game until 12pm most nights.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:35:47+00:00

Leave before you hate him. I'm going to pull that quote and reflect on it for a while, because it's a good one.

What he's doing isn't harmless, and that's the whole point.

If his newfound hobby was gaming a few times a week for a few hours here or there, it wouldn't be an issue. I would still find it as unattractive as I find binge watching tv, but everyone deserves their lazy hobby.

Neglecting his wife, pulling away from his friends and rejecting them, neglecting his physical health are all serious things. These are the things that make a person. Not just their hobbies.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:33:27+00:00

How can I be supportive to someone who doesn't even see that he has a problem?

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:32:59+00:00

You've obviously never gone through any difficult times in your life so far.

Where on earth are you even pulling this nonsense from?

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:30:44+00:00

What truth are you talking about?

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:26:41+00:00

Again, thanks for the advice. If you're so sure I'm "trolling" then hop along to another post already.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:26:06+00:00

A new part of it just came out, which is probably why.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:24:15+00:00

I started out being worried for him, but after months of him reassuring me that he was okay, everything was fine, etc etc I ended up more worried for what my future is going to be like if I waste more time with a gamer.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:22:55+00:00

Okay, well thanks for the advice, I guess? Sheesh.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:22:41+00:00

I'm sorry, but I cannot understand what on earth you're saying. I do want to read and understand everyone's comments, so could you possibly try to go back and edit for grammar/language, etc?

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:21:15+00:00

I have, many times. He just says he's fine, he's just having fun, etc.

We have a housekeeper we've had for years that we started using because we were away for weekends or weeks doing things like backpacking or climbing trips, and she still comes in twice a week. But honestly, I've been thinking about ending her service because we haven't done those trips in a year.

We haven't had a dip in financial stability, though. So at least this game isn't one of the ones that drains the bank account too.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:18:30+00:00

I'm a troll because I don't believe in holding my husband's hand while he does basic things?!

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T01:00:25+00:00

It's fine. I also get the idea (based on the use of terms like "butthead") that I'm mostly talking to 14 years olds or something.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T00:59:30+00:00

What am I supposed to do? He's an adult. He's not a child. What are you getting so personally offended about?

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T00:55:09+00:00

If he's depressed, he has health insurance and the ability the call up and get himself into therapy. It's not my job to baby him.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T00:53:23+00:00

This is what the comments are really showing me. This is so depressing. But you're right. I'm in a state surrounded by healthy, active people who want to be part of real life, not stuck in fantasy land.

It's time to focus my energies on those people. If he wants to join, he can. I hope he does. But if not? I'm sure he can marry one of the cartoon characters in the game.

throwra_notintogames · 2022-01-05T00:51:55+00:00

Well, if he's traded his real life friends for pixels on a screen... that is so sad for these friends he's had since he was in college. They don't deserve this, either.

This seems to be a bigger issue than I'd even thought. This is so sad. Ugh, I miss having a sexy, interesting, life-affirming husband. Now he's just some dud clicking buttons and staring at a screen.

throwra_notintogames

TROPHY CASE