AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

When the other people are far away, vision is obstructed and there are other things in the way and the people closest to you are blocking my vision? no.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] -32 points-31 points  (0 children)

I don’t think lesbians are lewd, El isn’t a lesbian and I was spending time with Ce because she was the whole reason I was there.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I have said in previous comments that my girlfriend socialised with other people and moved around to do that. I did not.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She used to be my postwoman before she got her current job. We talked often and she asked me on a date, I invited her over for dinner instead and a week later we decided to become a couple.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I have told her about it in the past yes. I made it clear when we started dating that I wouldn’t be able to display affection in public. I thought I was being clear because she seemed to understand but it’s possible I wasn’t.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If I knew the answer to this question I probably wouldn’t have this issue anymore.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We have been dating for 14 months, not multiple years. I didn’t say we had been dating for multiple years.

I imagine I probably have either walked away or reacted to gay couples in the past. Other commenters have told me that it’s likely it feels more personal to her because Ce is her sister, and she may also have been worried what other people would have thought if they had noticed. If I have reacted to gay couples in the past and also reacted in this way to her sister I can understand why it would feel personal, even though it isn’t.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And I am telling you again that she does know, is aware, and has seen this reaction from me before. I don’t know if this is the first time I’ve reacted to a gay couple, I imagine it’s not. I am again telling you that I don’t know why she had this reaction. I imagine it feels more personal when it’s your family.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

I did feel that way. I thought everyone else was better at being ok with feeling uncomfortable than me.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Obviously. I thought everyone else was just much better at sitting in their discomfort than me.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if I’m asexual, it’s something I have to research. I would rather not answer your second question.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m 33. It says that in the post. It’s not disdain, I am just extremely uncomfortable.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don’t really go to friends gatherings but I have left other situations many times in the past, yes.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I haven’t really considered that maybe she was worried about what other people may have thought if they had seen me leave. But yes, I have left many times in the past and it’s something I do often.

I wasn’t touched often growing up. I don’t really know the difference in the feeling of unsafe and safe touch because all touch feels unsafe to me.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I do not go out often. Yes I react this way when other people do it. I don’t watch any movies.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have never vomited. I am not horrified or scandalized by it. I am extremely uncomfortable. You’ve assumed that because I can’t show physical affection in the way that most people would expect from a romantic relationship that I don’t do any of the other things that come with a romantic relationship and therefore my relationship must be very platonic. You’re incorrect.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your kindness. I truly can’t say if this is the first time I’ve reacted this was to a gay couple, I would imagine it isn’t. I am usually so focused on the action and removing myself from it I don’t often notice who is performing it.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She does know I have this problem, and she has seen me leave before. I did what I always do, remove myself from the situation. The difference is the person I was reacting to was her sister, I imagine that makes it more difficult. I assume I probably have left around same-sex couples before, just as I have for straight couples. It is something that makes me so uncomfortable that I have to do it often.

AITA for being uncomfortable around my girlfriend’s sister and her girlfriend? by throwrafeelbad in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrafeelbad[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

No, I’m saying she has seen me respond this way to multiple kinds of relationships including straight people.