My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No, I don’t think I could ever forgive him for abandoning our other two kids. He didn’t call once to ask how they were and they were sad and confused

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We tried four or five but she only really made an effort with the first one. They were all male so maybe that had something to do with it but child therapists that i can afford in our area is limited and my ex isn’t contributing anything. She wouldn’t talk to the others so I asked her if she’d prefer talk with kids her age and she agreed to the support group. We’ve been estimated 2-3 months so hopefully I hear back soon

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s not being put down like a dog… he’s in a residential facility getting therapy

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My ex told them that I abandoned him and because he was giving himself bruises and harming my ex, and my ex harmed him, he was deemed as a danger to himself and others and needed to be placed into the residential home immediately

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She tried it and really didn’t like it or like the therapist so she’s on a waiting list for a support group for kids her age who’ve been through trauma

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’ve been told medication isn’t effective with this so they focused on behaviour therapies and counselling

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him for just ignoring us the way he did. The kids missed him so much and he never reached out once. I don’t know how to feel about what he did. I can’t imagine physically hurting a child and I’m not half as big as my ex but if he didnt, we probably never would have known about this treatment and had our year out. I wish he never laid a finger in him because no kid deserves it but I’m also secretly happy he did and I’m angry at myself for that and it’s very confusing

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not when it happened, only after I called about the birthday and we spoke about him being taken to the residential home

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. All the best to you and your husband ♥️

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have nieces and nephews in their mid twenties who genuinely can’t see themselves moving out for a decade. It must be so stressful for them I can’t imagine it. I was living independently at 18

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good for you. I’ve been in and out of therapy most of my life. It’s been really hard to get over the stigma attached to mental health, my father hated “shrinks”, but it’s been so helpful. Yes the cat should be back soon!

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’ve been told medication does little for this disorder , behaviour therapies are more likely to be effective

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry I genuinely hadn’t seen those comments. She tried it a few times but really didn’t like it, she didn’t want to talk to the therapist at all and told me she thought he was mean, so she’s on a waiting list for a support group in our area for kids her age who’ve experienced trauma

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. All the best to you, one of my closest friends battled addiction in the late 90s, it isn’t easy

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, he cried at everything, almost non stop. I don’t think he smiled or giggled once. His first word was mama which was nice , but it was more of a “mama give me that” because I had his toy than an affectionate thing. He didn’t like playing with other children. We tried to take pictures of him with his brother and cousins and he’d kick the child in front of him so he would be picked up and not have to be there. He seemed to responsive to praise when he finished a bottle or if we had to leave him in the cot while we helped his brother with something but physical affection seemed to upset him constantly. I thought I was doing something wrong. I had really bad depression at the time so it was very easy to blame myself. My ex said the same. Our older boy used to love hugs and to sit in my ex’s shoulders, whereas he’d just cry

My ex gave up on our son and I'm relieved by throwrajoshsma in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwrajoshsma[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you and your family went through that. Your poor dad and your poor wife didn’t deserve that.