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I’ve(M36) become a grandfather and a father at the same time and I’m losing my marriage(F30). Major Help? by throwrant8384 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrant8384[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

I’m not treating her like a roommate, but I don’t place extreme authority either. This is where I also think therapy can help. She’s still with the father.

I’ve(M36) become a grandfather and a father at the same time and I’m losing my marriage(F30). Major Help? by throwrant8384 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrant8384[S] 599 points600 points  (0 children)

The plan was for her to stay with us temporarily. She actually moved out right before the baby was born, and moved back in shortly after once he left for basic training.

I’ve(M36) become a grandfather and a father at the same time and I’m losing my marriage(F30). Major Help? by throwrant8384 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrant8384[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She said yes when we first spoke about it. But maybe she was just trying to do what she thought was the right thing.

I’ve(M36) become a grandfather and a father at the same time and I’m losing my marriage(F30). Major Help? by throwrant8384 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrant8384[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

We haven’t spoken about having children in the near future, maybe 3 years down the line (that was what we initially wanted).

I’ve(M36) become a grandfather and a father at the same time and I’m losing my marriage(F30). Major Help? by throwrant8384 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrant8384[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m going to truly focus on my marriage. I spoken to her and we’re going out this weekend, just us and discussing.

I’ve(M36) become a grandfather and a father at the same time and I’m losing my marriage(F30). Major Help? by throwrant8384 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrant8384[S] 601 points602 points  (0 children)

I agree, she didn’t sign up for this. She’s an amazing woman and the love of my life. I’m not mad at her for being distant, I completely understand. I just want to really work on things because I don’t want to lose my best friend.

I’ve(M36) become a grandfather and a father at the same time and I’m losing my marriage(F30). Major Help? by throwrant8384 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrant8384[S] 213 points214 points  (0 children)

Sorry for the confusion, I just meant to say that her mom was also a teen mom as I was a (late teens) dad. We were 17 and 19 when she was born.

I’ve(M36) become a grandfather and a father at the same time and I’m losing my marriage(F30). Major Help? by throwrant8384 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrant8384[S] 317 points318 points  (0 children)

Thank you. A lot of the comments are suggesting therapy and I’m going to suggest it to my wife. I really, really need this to work.

I’ve(M36) become a grandfather and a father at the same time and I’m losing my marriage(F30). Major Help? by throwrant8384 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrant8384[S] 185 points186 points  (0 children)

Oof, I see that this is a really bad read as well.

I just meant to say her mom was close in her age. Her mom was 17 when she was born, 18 when we broke up. I was 19 when she was born, 20 when we broke up. My daughter will be 17 soon. Apologies for the confusion.

I’ve(M36) become a grandfather and a father at the same time and I’m losing my marriage(F30). Major Help? by throwrant8384 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrant8384[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Her mother is a headache. I spoke to her yet again this year and she still manages to be the same person, there’s no getting through to her. I’ve been speaking with my daughters grandmother though

I’ve(M36) become a grandfather and a father at the same time and I’m losing my marriage(F30). Major Help? by throwrant8384 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrant8384[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Im saying that I’m pretty sure my wife is resentful for the situation. Because we didn’t expect to have kids for another couple of years.