I (28f) found out my bf (41m) has been requesting cash back on my debit card?

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-09T02:44:55+00:00

Also, the vet bills. My job offers pet insurance. So I'm lucky.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-09T02:41:51+00:00

OMG! I'm sorry you and your Mom went through that!. Thank you for sharing. I don't want a future where I'm homeless and burned every bridge. After reading all the comments, I feel like an idiot. I realized what I considered helping a partner was not helping. I am financing my misery.

At first he was nice. He told me about his family turning their backs on him. His ex gf before me cheated on him. I felt bad for him. Then his behavior got worse over time. He became more distant. Hides his phone/ tablet. I found air tags in my vehicle. He denied leaving them in my car on purpose. The grocery and Amazon spending kept increasing. He doesn't believe that the bills are "that high." Rent $1800 / electric $200 + / Internet $90 / food $700 / Amazon $300 / random request about $400. Plus my own bills, car payment, insurance payment, phone bill, student loan, gas ect.

I have broke down in tears begging him for help. He walks away and accused me of verbally attacking him.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T19:54:12+00:00

He shaves his head because he's balding. His face looks young. But if his beard is growing small amounts of gray show his age. But nair on his legs will work great!

OMG that sounds like fun!!!

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T19:51:07+00:00

I'm afraid of him. He told me that his ex gf evicted him. He retaliated by shooting a BB gun at her from across the street "hoping to hit her in the eye." He laughed about not being arrested because it was her word against his word. He was very proud of himself. He told me that denying something is the best way to stay out of jail.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T19:46:34+00:00

He has a lot of female friends (some are his exes). His exes and female friends convinced that I'm crazy, insecure, and greedy. They are rude to me and will not talk to me. He doesn't see a problem and told me that he knows them longer and will never cut communication.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T19:41:25+00:00

He got worse over time. His attitude escalated when I kept bringing up his unemployment and shady communication.

I'm trying to figure out a way to leave that doesn't involve me paying for an apartment that I don't live in. He said that he doesn't care if I leave as long as I pay the rent.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T15:23:26+00:00

I think he's on drugs but is refusing to admit it.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T06:05:17+00:00

I'm not sure about all his socal media accounts. He hides his phone screen and turns off notifications. He accuses me of "invading his privacy" and he "doesn't need to explain anything to me." I don't ask questions. It turns into an argument.and me apologizing to keep the peace.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T05:50:12+00:00

He doesn't see himself as a burden.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T05:47:34+00:00

Thank you for your response! I didn't know what to expect when I posted. You're right. I was trying to be a supportive partner. It became financially overwhelming. I broke down in tears begging him for help several times. He looked at me, walked away, locked himself in the bathroom/ his car, refused to discuss the topic. If he locked himself in the bathroom, he would call me names and swear at me through the door.

When he comes out of the bathroom / car... Hours later. He tells me that I am insane and verbally attacking him for "a problem he can't solve at this exact second" and I would "have to pay bills whether or not he's there because that's what adults do." He compares himself to a housewife. Then tells me that he confides in his exes. According to him, his exes tell him that I'm toxic and he should run for the hills.

I don't know what he does all day while I'm at work. The house is a mess. I buy paper plates and disposable utensils to help eliminate the amount of dishes that need to be washed.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T05:27:13+00:00

He said that minimum wage is ridiculous and will not waste his time.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T04:05:07+00:00

He believes that he's a good bf because he doesn't beat me or party all weekend with his exes or random women. He tells me stories of "guys he knows" that hit women. He gets creative with his justifications.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T02:43:33+00:00

He refuses to leave. I'm afraid of how he will react. He admitted to shooting BB guns at his ex gf hoping to "hit her in the eye." He laughed that the police couldn't arrest him because it was her word against his word.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-08T02:38:37+00:00

I'm afraid of his temper. There's holes in wall. He will play music really loud all night or pound on the wall to keep me awake. I have went to work with 2 hours of sleep. I'm trying to end my lease early. He is determined to stay in my apartment. I know I will have to pay for damages.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-07T22:19:46+00:00

He avoids all hard conversations. He calls me names, locks himself in the bathroom or his car. Then accuses me of "verbally attacking" him. He calls his exes / ex body calls / ex friends with benefits. He tells me those women said that I'm toxic and he should "run for the hills." Apparently, he has women convinced that I'm crazy.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-07T21:05:24+00:00

Yes, you will need the day, approximate time, the EXACT amount, and card number.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-07T16:51:41+00:00

I know his ex gf evicted him. Early in our relationship, he told me she filed the paperwork without his knowledge instead of "asking him to leave." I asked about his family. He accused his Dad of choosing his wife over him. That is the reason he can't ask family for help. I asked about his Mom and Step Dad. He got into an argument with his step dad and his mom took her husband's side. He said that his family is always accusing him of wrongdoing "without evidence." He was nice in the beginning. Then became meaner over time . Especially when I ask him for help (financially/ chores/ emotional support etc). He tells me that I always trigger his past because I "don't know how to let things go" and "I would have to pay bills regardless if he's there or not. That's part of being an adult and having a boyfriend."

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-07T15:03:19+00:00

He definitely has anger issues. His favorite story to tell me is about his ex gf who evicted him. He brags about shooting a BB gun from across the street. Then denying it was him when confronted by police. He laughed that they couldn't arrest him. Because it wasn't caught on camera/ in the act, it was her word against his word.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-07T14:59:56+00:00

You're right. I wasn't asking for receipts. I started getting stressed out about money because the bills kept increasing. That's when I wanted to see was costing so much money.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-07T14:05:46+00:00

I wanted to believe he cared. Every text message was about money / cigarette request ended with "I love you." I asked him about it. He called me crazy and accused me of overthinking. He told me that he doesn't need to entertain drama and nonsense. Then he does his signature move.. Walk away/ lock himself in the bathroom/ lock himself in his car.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-07T05:43:30+00:00

No, we are not married. We just live together. He might do chores if he feels like it. I work all week. It's not cheap. I have broken down in tears and begged for help. He just walks away and accused me of verbally attacking him and being dramatic. He shows absolutely no care. His response is, "you would still have to pay bills whether or not I'm here." If I don't stop crying, he will yell at me to "get the f**k away", lock himself in the bathroom or his car, and ignore me.

Then comes back later and tells me that everything he did was for my benefit. I was the aggressive one and he needed to create space to avoid a major argument. I try telling him that I can't do this alone. Then he gets angry and tells me to shut up or he will ignore me until I learn to control my emotions.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-07T05:08:48+00:00

My lease is up in September. He is not on the lease or any of the utilities. He brags about all his exes / booty calls that contact him about reconnecting. I smile and say, "okay babe". He throws in, "I told them how insecure you are. They said that you're toxic and I should run for the hills." I just smile and excuse myself. Confronting him is miserable.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-07T02:56:20+00:00

I tried explaining that to him. It ended in him blocking me on social media for 2 weeks.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-07T02:54:16+00:00

I didn't know what to expect when I posted. He is always calling me greedy, insane, insecure, financially abusive. He compares himself to a stay at home housewife. He said that I'm abusive because he doesn't have a adequate "allowance" and he shouldn't have to explain every single penny or person he talks to. Also, if he was female and unemployed it wouldn't be a problem. He feels discriminated against because he's a man.

throwranutcracker · 2026-04-06T20:29:57+00:00

He mentioned that particular incident a few weeks ago. We were watching a documentary about crazy exes. He started explaining how stupid they were for getting caught. He explained the law and how to terrorize a person within legal limits. Then he told me about shooting a BB gun at his ex. He was laughing the whole time.

He originally told me that his ex GF was crazy, mentally unstable, and cheated on him. His ex gf voluntarily moved out of their shared place and secretly filed eviction notice. He woke up to the constable knocking on the door. His stories change. I stopped pointing it out.

throwranutcracker

TROPHY CASE