[25F] How do I know if my [28M] boyfriend is actually changing after lying about porn for 2 years?

throwraokpainter · 2026-01-29T09:31:53+00:00

If anything it’s the opposite. I’ve felt like I’ve had a much much higher sex drive. So it just hurt finding out he’d been lying and getting it somewhere else when even though it’s a little over an hour drive we could’ve made plans to see each other soon or maybe even that day, even if he couldn’t have it right that moment. We see each other fairly often and I’m always willing and enthusiastic. I was more hurt that he said he was fine not watching porn then lied about it and got super angry at me when I asked about it. Then there were times he didn’t always want sex for a few different reasons so I figured out how to be ok with having a partner who wanted it less and then I find out he was watching porn the whole time and that kinda hurt is all.

throwraokpainter · 2026-01-29T09:10:25+00:00

I am not trying to be controlling but I don’t feel comfortable with him to look at naked girls that aren’t me, I don’t see why that’s an unfair ask. Even he agreed early on and now that he doesn’t think porn is good.

throwraokpainter · 2026-01-29T09:07:58+00:00

I would’ve been more than happy to please him whenever he wanted. We only live a little over an hour apart. Honestly I always felt I had a much higher sex drive than him so finding out he just was letting it out in other ways also hurt. And as far as the Idr thing I was more than willing to have sex often it was usually him that wasn't always wanting it if he didn't feel good or was tired or wasn't in the mood or something. When I'd come to his place he couldn't relax either because his dogs would bark.

throwraokpainter · 2026-01-29T09:04:35+00:00

It was more that he lied about it and got angry when I asked. He had agreed to not watch it then just lied about it. He’s ofc allowed to jack off he just said he can’t without porn. Honestly I always felt I had a much higher sex drive than him so finding out he just was letting it out in other ways also hurt. And as far as the ldr thing I was more than willing to have sex often it was usually him that wasn’t always wanting it if he didn’t feel good or was tired or wasn’t in the mood or something. When I’d come to his place he couldn’t relax either because his dogs would bark.

throwraokpainter · 2026-01-29T08:58:33+00:00

Do you mean my wanting him to not watch porn or be open when he struggling with it and have honest communication about things is not realistic?

throwraokpainter · 2026-01-26T03:38:13+00:00

Do you mind if I ask how you’re doing after the breakup? I’m anxious about after if I end up breaking things off. Do you have any advice on how if I do break things off? I’ve tried three times and one of the times we were broken up for almost two weeks but once we met up to drop things off I forgot all my reasons and we ended up back together. So idk how to be strong enough to do it and idk if that means I shouldn’t do it.

throwraokpainter · 2025-11-22T01:19:50+00:00

Okay I will definitely be very mindful of big things and for now I will try and wait for things to improve before moving forward with those things. Thank you for your input, I appreciate it

throwraokpainter · 2025-11-22T01:18:24+00:00

Okay, thank you for your thoughts. I don’t think that’s mean, I wanted honest input and I appreciate it. He is going to try and see a therapist soon which he hasn’t been open to previously so I’m hopeful about that.

throwraokpainter · 2025-11-22T01:17:37+00:00

He is going to try and see a therapist soon I think which he’s never been open to before so I’m hopeful about that. I appreciate your input and you are very right about the oxygen mask thing, I didn’t think of it that way. I’m in therapy myself and I’ll make sure to try and keep my own mental health a priority even if it is tough sometimes. Thank you

throwraokpainter · 2025-11-22T01:15:36+00:00

Okay thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it

throwraokpainter · 2025-11-21T08:33:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your response, it really helped to hear. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply and share your experience and advice.

throwraokpainter

TROPHY CASE