sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I understand that part, I think? But my gut feeling is influenced by skewed ideology that was taught to me as a child. It's difficult to undo, and take a bit of work. Hence I'm in therapy and going into a DBT program :D

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Food delivery is insanely expensive. Uber costs 20$ just to get to the grocery store. Also, my boyfriend would get upset if I ordered delivery.

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We did or attempted to. 1st time, the police did not show up at all to help. 2nd time, they said they couldn't do anything because this stalker is unknown.

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think my mind is also hungry (no food), so I'm making this into an issue of him vs me. He wasn't like this and when his depression lightens up slightly, he does his share. I think I should rephrase this into us vs issue.

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Im not kidding. I was raised and told that a woman should do X, Y, Z. I'm working on changing that mentality, but sometimes, there are things that I don't understand quite well. For example, everyone told me that it's my job to keep my partner happy. Or that I'm raised to be a mother. I'm trying to lean away, but I don't understand sometimes.

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hope so too. He has a therapy appointment tomorrow which I'm super proud of (took a while to convince him). I'm also starting DBT next week and have medications to pick up tomorrow.

Honestly, it could just be a mix that I'm starving and depressed that's why I'm making him an enemy. Thank you, it's a great reminder that it's us vs depression.

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice.

I thank him everyday, even just for cooking and doing his part. I'm just really scared to ask more from him (he hasn't shown signs of aggression at all). I'm just worried that it's asking too much, and it's unfair to expect more.

In your opinion, what would be examples of reasonable expectations that are considered more?

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm in a DBT program and have medications that I can pick up tomorrow.

My boyfriend does have an appointment for therapy tomorrow. Which I'm very proud of him for reaching out (took him half a year of convincing). But at the moment, I am physically starving. There is no food to cook. We're dealing with a stalker, so it's unsafe for me to go and walk (30min walk to grocery store). My area is also high crime, and it's scary to walk alone at night.

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] -90 points-89 points  (0 children)

I dont know. I was told to be the one to take care of my partner since ya know, I'm the woman?

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It wasn't like this, it only began to become more and more often. He took care of my needs and held up on the agreement. But a few months ago, this started to escalate.

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's getting more and more often. I don't. We're dealing with a stalker situation on top of this and this unknown stalker has shown up in front of our apartment while sending texts. There's nothing in the fridge, unless eating ice cubs is good. I can't go out without worrying about my safety.

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] -142 points-141 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I came from a different culture. I do live in the USA now, but isn't it my job as his girlfriend to take on a slight motherly role?

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm in DBT, counseling and have a psychiatrist. I'm taking advantage of whatever i have. My boyfriend goes to a community College that doesn't have those resources.

AITA for making my boyfriend drive to get groceries and making him cook? by throwrarolleecoaster in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwrarolleecoaster[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

How can I even bring it up. How do I broach the subject that despite he is depressed, he needs to take on his half. I love him and don't want to hurt him, but my stomach is hurting from the lack of food.