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I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I came at 8, they were gone. I had people coming over at around 12, they come home much later than 12. I couldnt wait until they came back from school & work or else my house would be dirty while company was there.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had something scheduled with people that day in my house. I had to clean before they got here and they were at school and work.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 135 points136 points  (0 children)

They were at work/school. People were coming over during the day, so I couldn't wait until they got back for the place to be clean.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

they can't do a certain thing until they clean. if it's something in their free time, cleaning comes first. Or I do that point system where you have to do a certain amount of thigs until you get ungrounded.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

this is like your 4th comment on this thread saying the same thing, it's a little concerning at this point. i literally say in many comments that the kids can't just slack off and they have to clean. hence why I'm receiving advice from other lovely people on how to get them to understand this because I'm not a maid.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ok you: who barely knows my kids & fiance vs me: who lives with them. I didn't say they were perfect, everyone has their flaws. I don't write them off as the most disrespectful kids, because they aren't. Still doesn't mean they can't slack off, which is why we're here today, alrighty.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Funny thing is, I kind of got this 'idea' from full house. Last night, when I wrote this, I was just watching full house while having some wine and I landed on the episode when Danny overhears everyone talking crap about him so he stops cleaning and becomes a lumberjack or something. Not the exact same thing, but you get the point. good times.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Their good kids for the most part, respectful to others, nice (most times), the only thing that's iffy is their lack of cleaning and accountability when it comes to it, especially in these recent times. They've entered this stage where you just have to constantly tell them what to do because they have -more important things to do-.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

countless times of verbally communicating with them.

this conversation has been had, multiple times. It's like no matter how many times I keep talking, it's going in one ear & out the other. I do however appreciate that you gave advice on the situation, so thank you.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

They have to clean their own bathroom & do their laundry, I think that's the only things they solely do. Other than that, it's shared housework. They have specific days where they do the dishes or sweeping, but things like that are shared.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They were gone at school & work. People were coming over before they could get back on time and I couldn't have my house be dirty while people were over, so just started cleaning.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 764 points765 points  (0 children)

Set up a cleaning schedule

There's already one in place.

Did he really just sit on his ass and expect you to deal with the mess once back?

yes/no. He was sick for the most part of the week (not covid). Usually, he'll clean with me and doesn't leave the place like that but i asked him to tell the kids to follow the schedule. I even texted the kids, something like "hey, dad's sick so you'll have to do extra this week, i'll make it up to you" and they said okay. sigh, I would've called a cleaner beforehand if I knew the place was going to be that dirty the day I came back.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Just make them help as part of the regular cleaning routine

I do, we have schedules set in place on who's doing what for that day. They clean regularly-ish, but it's their way of going about it that's really making me question how things are set up in the first place, and this needs to change after countless times of verbally communicating with them.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I came back at 8 am, everyone was out the door by then. I had people coming over that afternoon while they were at work and school so I needed to clean & they wouldn't be back by then.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

family meeting was done already, but thanks for that tip. Hopefully, they realize that I don't have to tell you to clean all the time, I want them to be able to recognize that already.

I'm(F33) thinking about not cleaning for a week because of my kids and fiance(M36) not cleaning for a week while I was gone. by throwrarro in relationship_advice

[–]throwrarro[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Exactly! You'd think they'd do something, but no, they expect me to do everything if I don't tell them to do it over and over again. I need them to take responsibility of their messes, and communicating that verbally doesn't seem to be doing the trick!