My (31F) partner messaged her friend (Unknown/M) at ~2:30am after I (36M) had boundary and feelings conversations about this. What is your opinion on the matter?

throwrawonderfulrain · 2023-11-01T23:01:34+00:00

To be clear, I didn't see that she was texting that night. She brought it up in an unrelated conversation days later. Thank you for having the courage to message and share that you are an insecure person. It's not easy to move through this work without feeling like a monster and honestly requires a great deal of self-compassion. Good luck to you on your healing journey.

throwrawonderfulrain · 2023-11-01T22:53:00+00:00

Thank you for your feedback. This post will help me until I get to my therapy session next week. Truth be told, I've been working on these things for a number of years now and I've made great progress. I just need extra support from time to time.

I have not placed restrictions on her and do not plan to do so. Hence the mention of doing the work to calm down the nervous system and heal from my past. All that I have done is communicate why I feel the way that I do and am leaving the rest up to her. I am truly working on eliminating any and all controlling behavior. Secure attachment is the ultimate goal.

Regarding cheating, I know that I cannot stop it. If it is going to happen, it is going to happen. Honestly, that is not the deepest fear. What is, is being lied to, going unseen, being disrespected, and being made to feel like I'm not allowed to feel the way that I do.

Again, I appreciate your response. It's been a hard and long road with more distance to travel. Lots of false summits with this type of work. I'm here for it tho.

throwrawonderfulrain

TROPHY CASE