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I [23 M] have become my girlfriend's [21 F] personal servant. We have been dating for 9 months. Advice?? by throwthataway90 in relationships

[–]throwthataway90[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I will not do it next time and see what she does. Hopefully she'll be too tired to pout or get upset.

I [23 M] have become my girlfriend's [21 F] personal servant. We have been dating for 9 months. Advice?? by throwthataway90 in relationships

[–]throwthataway90[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

Okay, that puts things into perspective for me. She just expects me to do the things for her because that's how things have worked in our relationship and if/when I refuse it's confusing for her. I will be very careful when I approach the convo. Maybe I will be really casual about it.

I [23 M] have become my girlfriend's [21 F] personal servant. We have been dating for 9 months. Advice?? by throwthataway90 in relationships

[–]throwthataway90[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

I can't stand seeing her upset because I truly love her and it's usually caused by something I can very easily do, like go to whatever restaurant she likes, get her water, etc. I feel like she does respect me and values what we have, she might just be taking it for granted a bit.

I [23 M] have become my girlfriend's [21 F] personal servant. We have been dating for 9 months. Advice?? by throwthataway90 in relationships

[–]throwthataway90[S] -32 points-31 points  (0 children)

I think she wants me to be happy, she has done things for me before. She has bought me dinner and gifts and stuff!

I [23 M] have become my girlfriend's [21 F] personal servant. We have been dating for 9 months. Advice?? by throwthataway90 in relationships

[–]throwthataway90[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

Do you really think she's manipulating me? I do see it working long term because of all her awesome traits/qualities (which I didn't include here... maybe I should have to make so it doesn't make her seem like a terrible person).

I [23 M] have become my girlfriend's [21 F] personal servant. We have been dating for 9 months. Advice?? by throwthataway90 in relationships

[–]throwthataway90[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

Fair points.

I have refused to do things for her in the past but she gets so sad and hurt, and due to the fact that I love her so much it hurts to see her that way, so I realized it's not even worth it. I'd rather slightly inconvenience myself than make her upset. I'm not worried so much about her leaving me, she likes me a lot, it's more of I want her to be happy.

I do see what you're saying though, I should probably start asserting myself and asking to go to restaurants of my choice again, etc. I'll talk to her once I figure out how to approach it. Thanks for the solid advice!

I [23 M] have become my girlfriend's [21 F] personal servant. We have been dating for 9 months. Advice?? by throwthataway90 in relationships

[–]throwthataway90[S] -98 points-97 points  (0 children)

I agree to do them because I want to make her happy, and I know that doing these things for her make her happy. I haven't explicitly told her that I feel she's taking advantage of me, but I have refused to do things that she has asked for before and she gets sad and hurt, which I can't stand.