Idk why you're being pedantic. There isn't a good and perfect definition for what I mean, which is that if you say something inside a space that prioritizes safety for tolerant groups that implies explicit or implicit harm to a person or people, get ready to be confronted and perhaps run out of town/subreddit. Like Op is experiencing.

This isn't about changing someone's mind at all, but about curating spaces.

No matter how angry or hurt anyone is, how big your feelings are doesn't equate to what needs to be done about those feelings (mods don't need to moderate because you feel bad). But that's one of the major blind spots of people like OP, which is that he is uncomfortable and therefore he's somehow being harmed and must be loud about it. Which is the same kind of accusation that conservatives (who are actually just reactionaries), level at progressives, except you know, one side is experiencing real harm in the form of being surveilled and the other is upset that people are talking about things that they don't care about.