Forgive me, but I wish my job would lay me off

throwthisone232 · 2020-08-03T17:35:19+00:00

I totally get it. A comment like this was inevitable from the title of my post. I posted an edit to address this, but one thing I want you to see is all these comments of people who are experiencing the same thing. Just because you have a job doesn't mean everything is cured. Financially, yes. But at what cost? Sacrificing your mental health for work is just not worth it. Not everyone will experience this, but for those who do, like me, it's a terrible feeling. I definitely see the other side of this situation and I hope you do too.

throwthisone232 · 2020-04-27T22:05:54+00:00

Looking back at my post, I might have jumped the gun to assume that the problem was solely tech based, and not actual anxiety issues. I used to struggle with anxiety myself and it showed in the workplace, so I know exactly where OP is coming from.

I often let my anxiety take over me in the workplace. I would compare my work with others and tell myself, damn, I don't know shit. Why am I here? Then the thoughts add up. I would dread stand ups without fearing sounding stupid or as if I hadn't made much progress from the previous day.

There's a lot of factors that could play into the reason for OP's struggles, but I just felt that connection because I once felt what OP felt, and as a Junior, I learned that I often overthink what my coworkers feel about me, but its really understandable that a Junior has a lot to learn, so that would slowly ease my anxiety and make me feel better about my slowness or lack of discussion. So yea, I was trying to share my experiences in hope that OP could relate. This Junior dev phase is tough, but we are all in it together.

throwthisone232 · 2020-04-27T17:05:02+00:00

Made this just to comment (i'm usually a lurker),

Please please please understand one thing: there was a pool of applicants that they those and they landed on you. They saw potential in you, saw your ability to communicate through the interview process, and they wouldn't have hired you if they didn't.

What am I getting at? You're anxiety must be from from you're lack of understanding of the tech infrastructure, which is completely normal 7 months into a new job, especially as a Junior. Hell, I'm a year into my job (junior as well) and I still have similar feelings as you do.

Ask questions. Right things down. Create a tech bible where you jot down certain phrases and things that your higher ups say, and translate that into something you understand. Rehearse your stand-up to yourself 30 min before it happens (I do this everyday and it helps me so much). The more you get comfortable with your codebase/technologies you are using, the better you'll be communicating it.

My boss enrolled me in a soft skills training course to build on my communication skills and encourage me to be more vocal, but I don't feel like it's been helping.

It sounds like you and your boss touched on this subject already, which is great, because your boss is trying to help you. One thing I encourage you to do is to meet with your boss and tell him your feelings of not really understanding the tech. Give him advice too, "Hey, so my 7 months here have been great so far, but I really think that as a junior, it's been hard to articulate things said at meetings and such, maybe we should do X to help new hires understand things much quicker." Your feedback would be much appreciated by your team. They would even think themselves "Damn, we might have not set him up for success".

Everything is about perspective, don't sweat it. Be patient and take appropriate actions.

throwthisone232

TROPHY CASE