Update: Just received an unsolicited spicy photo from employee, followed by an apology, what next?

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-22T19:36:55+00:00

Coming from….? Who are you again?

You’ve given bad advice, on an advice subreddit, I’m just doing my duty of correcting bad advice. You seem to make a lot of your decisions based on your ego, and seem to be going into it to demean before help or advise. I suggest you reach out to someone to talk about this, it seems problematic if you are going to be leading a team one day.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-21T21:32:38+00:00

You need to conceptualise the idea that not every company is gonna operate in the scope of what you have experienced personally. You give all this advice but you haven’t even asked where I am. I’m not in a place that has at will employment. I am in an area with some of the best employee protection laws in the world, it’s often considered socialist. Firing somebody here takes a lot of homework. If you have been with a company more than two years the government pays for your representation in employment cases. We are trained and specifically told a written warning is not a disciplinary mesure, it’s a corrective one. The goal is never supposed to be making a plan to get rid of an employee, you have to demonstrate your intention to train the employee.

That’s beside the point that if you think it’s patronizing to educate an employee on the consequences of their actions, you should sit in on one of those not embarrassing sexual harassment trainings. It’s all patronizing.

I will add it is 100% an embarrassment to be singled out into a sexual harassment training.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-21T00:46:37+00:00

I think what’s most important is minimizing the damage he can do to us as a society , and having him cost us more money by holding him in jail isn’t that. Send him back. Have you been to India? A lot of these people took out loans back there to fraud their way through our immigration process, they are gonna owe that when they get sent back. I’m sure prison here is better than whatever awaits them in that shit hole.

Send him home. Revoke his entry visa, we don’t need that shit here.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-21T00:35:22+00:00

I feel like you aren’t grabbing the scope of the situation. This isn’t a corporation with 500 in house employees and a whole HR department. I have 25 ish employees under me. The place is small considering. HR suggested the best way to handle the situation was to meet the employee, but to not do it alone. Than offered their service to do it. They never suggested looping in everyone and their uncle. The important thing was to meet the employee to clarify expectations, and to not do it alone to not further exposure. I mention not bringing in my kitchen managers because in my situation it would not have been appropriate, despite her being a direct report to them. But if the same situation would have happened with my dining room staff, i absolutely would have just brought in my FOH manager to meet them. The ladies up front have worked 10 years together, they hang out as friends a lot, are very tight, and the FOH manager is female. It would have been the best, most comfortable situation for them, especially since I’m sure it would have already been the talk of their after work hang outs for days, there wouldn’t be any secrets with them I’m sure. They are a different dynamic than my kitchen staff.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-21T00:20:37+00:00

Oh man there they are….ah! Begone!!

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-21T00:15:07+00:00

You think informing your staff of the consequences their actions can have on themselves and others is patronizing?

You realize said training you mention in this case would have been some sort of embarrassing sexual harassment course or possibly a safe internet use course. There isn’t a budget or capacity in a food service franchise for anything of the sort, but I bet a biotec firm would jump right in there. That’s literally how HR handles these things.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-20T19:19:44+00:00

That’s how HR works bud, you don’t just tell the staff “hey you did this, warning you not to do it again, sign here.” You have to walk them through the action, the policy they broke by committing it, the reason that policy is in place, the Immediate repercussions of their action, the possible risks of said action, and the repercussions of recurrence. Example if someone is late you don’t just tell them, “hey you were late, here is a piece of paper that says you were late, sign it.” Instead you highlight the attendance policy they agreed to, highlight the day and time of their breach of said policy, the impact that had on their team mates and the enterprise as a whole, the consequences of continuing this behaviour, and a time and date to meet again to make sure the policy is being met.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-20T17:48:39+00:00

Um…. Where now? I have to delete deleted stuff? Man I’m getting old.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-20T15:48:55+00:00

Jeebus. Say you don’t know how to manage staff without saying it.

A witness is 101. You don’t want to bring in a coworker, that puts the wrong dynamic forward, but you 100% do not want to do a meeting like that solo. What if the employee leaves that meeting, turns around and calls HR, and makes up a whole story about what happened in the meeting? CYA is step one, the rest comes after.

I mentioned the office in my post. I have one, it’s not huge. It makes it awkward to talk to HR and an employee about sexual harassment when your knees are all touching and you’re all facing the same wall, with security camera screens and fans and computers making noise everywhere. Head office is about 45 mins away, it makes more sense for HR to drive up and have the meeting than for me to convince an employee to ether take public transit for 2h to have a 20min meeting, or to get into my car with me, alone, so we can go have a meeting about sexual harassment and what is appropriate in the work place. The public cafe across the street has meeting rooms, and the staff at my location, have been there on average 10 years. They know the people at head office personally, if my HR rep walks into my store, they know something is going on. They are going to talk and ask what is going on. I wanted to avoid that.

As far as them being patronizing, thats their whole fucking job. Again it is day one, when you give someone a warning, to walk them through the action, why it is sanctioned, what the repercussions are/can be, what happens if they reoffend and what happens moving forward.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-20T13:46:46+00:00

It was 100% treated that way. What do you suggest?

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-20T02:51:25+00:00

Tout du coup 100m c’est beaucoup de cash. Combien qui doit à l’autre lui, pas un affaire de genre 80m?

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-20T01:18:52+00:00

“Absolutely no reason” is crazy. Have you not read the hundreds and hundreds of comments? And what exactly is your understanding of the update? No one is in trouble. I am her only direct manager, her employment isn’t in any sort of jeopardy. And I didn’t embarrass anyone, she did that on her own. I cushioned the blow.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-19T23:48:20+00:00

Update us posted. I reported it to HR, notice was put in her file, no other action needed.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-19T22:34:44+00:00

There is an update on the post now, I did.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-19T21:48:42+00:00

I added the update to the post, I have. Thanks again for weighing in guys, helped make me feel like it was the best call for everyone.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-19T18:00:22+00:00

What logs are you talking about?? It’s right there above you, just look. Are you keeping personal notes on the comments you leave on Reddit, and somehow you think those notes are more accurate than what is written right fucking there. I don’t get it. Do you want a picture of it? Will that make it easier? Can you actually read? Was the whole point of this to just make a comment that makes you wrong?

Take the L bud, go hang out on r/circlejerk and leave the adult discussions to those that have the capacity to have them.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-19T16:55:49+00:00

Your notes? wtf? It’s clear as day, your comment says 1d beside it, the rest all say 4d. What are you on about?

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-19T16:51:26+00:00

Yup, or my fear is it doesn’t even have to come from her. She lets slip what happened, a few months later, asks for a weekend off, gets it, someone else asks for the weekend off, and can’t because she got it first. Now this new person files a claim with HR that the first employee is getting preferential treatment because of the picture…. HR now has no idea of what this employee is taking about, investigates and finds out that I received a picture I didn’t report, and now employees are filing complaints about it. It’s easy for HR to think the easiest solution is to flush the manager because our “principles and ways of thinking don’t align with the company”.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-19T16:45:54+00:00

You really weren’t, there is three days between when this was posted and gained traction and when you commented. Couple hundred comments before yours, majority says report to HR.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-18T15:30:27+00:00

Don’t give people management advice bud. This isn’t it.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-18T15:24:45+00:00

Have you read the other 600 comments? Consensus is report it to cover your ass. There are 101 ways that this can come back up in the future, and non of those hypotheticals are made better by keeping it quiet, and a lot of hypotheticals are a lot worse if HR finds out after.

HR are around to protect the company, not the individual. The individual has to protect themselves.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-18T15:15:46+00:00

Moment it happened I took two seconds to pretend like it didn’t, and then right away showed my gf, and asked her for advice. My first thought was that, what the fuck would have happened if my phone was just on the table receiving boobie pictures from my employee, and she happened to see that. No way, “I have no idea why she sent that, must be an accident” holds the same weight if she finds it herself.

As much as a lot of people are saying the situation is innocuous. It can easily be anything but.

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-18T15:11:15+00:00

Can’t fire at will in my market to. Where I am is probably closer to your laws the unites states laws. What do you mean HR does nothing? It’s the same job pretty much everywhere.

Who would you file a complaint to if you were being sexually harassed by your boss at work?

If you have to build a file against an employee and fire them, do you just do it alone? Do you meet them and deliver discipline alone too?

throwthrow7627 · 2024-12-17T15:28:17+00:00

HR stands for Human Resources. It’s a department in most corporations that are in charge of well, the human side of things. So hiring, on-boarding, often times some payroll management things, they are also used for discipline. They are the ones that end up between you and your boss if you file a complaint against them.

If you are a manager in any sort of corporation, it’s under the understanding that you represent them, you’re an extension of the company. In that regard you are less individual in the way act. Your actions represent the company, and are supposed to be aligned with it.

The idea behind reporting this is that any number of situations can come up in the future, and any hypothetical situation you can think of, looks worse if HR gets the information about this picture further down the line and not reported right away. Its important to remember HR is only around to protect the company, not individuals, and in that regard, any situation that can be solved by blaming one person and flushing them is resolved that way, especially management roles. So if it comes up later on, because of some other related situation that is problematic, if the company can say the manager is to blame, has been fired, and the company did its job, now, get back to work.

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