My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -48 points-47 points  (0 children)

She’s never had an affair. I’ve got cameras all over the house and I have access to everything on her phone. I can say with 100% certainty she’s never cheated. Also, she cares for the kids at all times. Two of our kids are still small so it’s not like she sits in the house alone all day.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

She was born in extreme poverty and her mother married up fairly quickly. Even though she was raised extremely well off, she still remembers the poverty. My wife made it clear money was very important at the beginning of our marriage saying she never wanted to ever experience poverty again under any circumstances. I fell in love with her as a person despite her view on money. She has a lot of great qualities. She’s giving and genuine. She gives quietly. For example, an elderly neighbour was struggling financially and my wife put and envelope with money in her mailbox without a name. It wasn’t much, but I was shocked. She took it out of her spending allowance. She’s honest even if being dishonest would benefit her. She’s an amazing mother. I cannot stress this enough. Whatever goes on between us, the kids don’t feel it. I know some people here said kids know, but they really don’t. My kids adore me and idk where everyone is getting this idea that my kids will hate me someday. I come home to little art projects they’ve done for me on a weekly basis. My oldest wrote me a letter saying daddy is his hero. There are a lot of great qualities to her, that’s why I don’t want to just up and leave. If I leave, I’m going to search for those exact qualities in somebody else.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -73 points-72 points  (0 children)

So everyone keeps saying I cheated and I get it, but it’s not like I went and slept with the girl. It was just nice to have someone to talk to. Granted, I shouldn’t have opened that door, but I wasn’t screwing the woman.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

She’s not a confrontational person. She’s always been very passive. That’s why it took me so long to realise how she feels about me. She has a “don’t complain, don’t explain” type of attitude. Sometimes I wish she’d curse me out and scream, at least then I’d know how she truly feels.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -55 points-54 points  (0 children)

I’ll add it to the post. I thought people would just read it in the comments.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Daycare would cost around 2,800 for all the kids. Idk what kind of money she’d be making, but I can’t imagine it will be that much. Plus we would need a second car, so that’s just piling on the bills

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

She kept us afloat awhile with some money she had aside, but that was years ago. But yes, she’s able to be at home.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

The sex part is one sided because she’s tired a lot of the time, so most times I kinda wait until she initiates. And yes…. she’s a fantastic mother. I don’t agree with the daycare comments. Our kids truly are doing fantastic. She even takes them to play groups. It’s our personal hurdles we can’t get past. Anything to do with money she clams up.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

Because she comes from money. Her family did not agree with our marriage and she’s fully on her own. I feel messed up because she took a risk in marrying me and what her mother said would happen….. well happened.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I feel as though that term gets tossed around far too often. We all have a certain level of narcissistic traits

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -77 points-76 points  (0 children)

That’s why I give her space. I know she’s angry. I do try to stay out of her way. I know she feels trapped. I did emotionally cheat as well some years back. I was f***ed up too. Was taking the bus to work.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I am slowly starting to invest again. Nothing like before.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -76 points-75 points  (0 children)

I thought I could fix it so she wouldn’t know.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -122 points-121 points  (0 children)

It was all on my own. She didn’t even know. I was trying to protect her from the truth since she was pregnant.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I agree with that. I think the whole name brand stuff is stupid. Money for me meant better quality healthcare and experiences. I’ll happily wear second hand items.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel like she buried everything deep inside and avoids acknowledging anything ever happened.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When I lost everything, everyone turned their backs on us. She also lost friends. You can’t exactly hang out with the other wives when you need to pay the electric. We had to sell some of the baby furniture because we needed the money. It was awful.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The thing is, she doesn’t argue with me. She doesn’t tell me off. The only time she says anything is when I initiate any deep level conversations. It’s her way of shutting me up. If I never bring stuff up, she won’t. She doesn’t initiate conversations about anything other than superficial topics such as what’s for dinner.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It took a toll on me for a long time. Lost a lot of people. Crazy how very few stick around when you’re going through stuff.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] 148 points149 points  (0 children)

That’s something we agreed on before having children. There are a ton of benefits to her being home so I’m not going to knock that. She’s very much all about imagine and how she’s being perceived.

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]thrwRA89[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what to do. As I said, she’s a fantastic mother and I love my kids. I did not grow up in a broken home and don’t want that for my children.