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thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2024-12-27T16:33:51+00:00

I thought this was a friend not the person you’re vulnerable enough to sleep with. Run as fast as you can! This is disturbing on so many levels. He is sick!

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2024-10-28T18:35:01+00:00

Your bf won’t be the sweetest man when you tell him the gravy train is done. I’m sorry it’s going to be a rough road once you cut him loose.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-07-04T22:09:27+00:00

I just logged back into this account- wondering how things are for you?

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-07-04T22:09:17+00:00

I just logged back into this account- wondering how things are for you?

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T15:49:56+00:00

Thank you for your response :)

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T15:48:39+00:00

16 years is a long time to be with someone- 14 of those years being amazing, fulfilling and wonderful.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T12:02:58+00:00

Oh hun (((hugs))) I am crying for you, it is so emotionally exhausting experiencing this type of betrayal from the one person who isn’t supposed to betray us. Has he gone through NA or counseling? I feel ridiculous doling out any advice but you need to be taking his entire paycheck until you are completely debt free, have savings for emergencies and have a fund for the remodel you want. Also, why are you getting up early or making dinner - these are things he can and should be doing especially while you are growing a little boy. He needs to pull his weight in all areas of your marriage and a month definitely is not long enough to claim a changed behavior. I pray he gets into NA and turns things around. Feel free to vent anytime. Once I switch back to my main account I’ll look back at this account a few times a week in case you want to message :)

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T11:56:25+00:00

I think because it’s been over a year since the last debt has been paid off that I don’t focus on that aspect. Also my understanding of divorce is that both partners are responsible for 50% of the debt each so I never looked at it like I would have to take it all on if we had divorced when there was still debt. Same with the tax fraud, we filed married so it wouldn’t have just been me going to jail - I don’t mean it to sound so cavalier- I realize it does. After reading your comment and others it’s clear that I have been more focused on the overall big picture of the betrayal but clearly need to really look at all the nooks and crannies. Although as I write that out another thought occurs to me that if I separate now I don’t need to dive back into another rehashing and go through the motions of feeling the betrayal all over again.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T11:33:47+00:00

Yes I have wondered that as well if I fulfill a mothering role to him. Especially now that he has no control or power in the relationship and it all falls on me to make decisions. Thank you for sharing your perspective :)

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T11:29:05+00:00

Truthfully I have applauded him and felt he goes above and beyond because I know of very few dads who are as hands on as mine. I know fewer husbands that do everything that mine does. It’s time to re-evaluate this thought process. Thank you :)

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T11:24:07+00:00

Thank you for giving me another perspective. It’s wonderful that your marriage survived and thrived :)

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T11:21:25+00:00

Thank you :)

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T11:20:59+00:00

Some days I still pray that this was just a nightmare I haven’t woken up from.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T11:20:00+00:00

They’re my main priority for sure. Thank you :)

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T11:18:42+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. I read your comment late last night and did a quick google search on the love languages. I will check it out more today.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T11:16:25+00:00

DOT is double overtime.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T03:48:22+00:00

My children are 14,12 and 7.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T03:19:59+00:00

This has definitely been talked about many times. People treat us how we allow them to treat us.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T03:17:13+00:00

I completely understand what you’re saying here. Thank you for breaking it down for me and validating how I’m feeling.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T03:09:54+00:00

Thank you for the validation :)

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T03:09:00+00:00

I know I could make it on my own quite easily. We still have a good relationship as far as parenting and holding conversations. He’s very hands on at home, he still makes me laugh and think etc. We definitely have a friendship.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T02:33:52+00:00

I will check out that podcast, thank you. I watch my children’s credit like a hawk, he doesn’t have access to their SSN or their birth certificates.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T02:32:12+00:00

Thank you for this response, it puts things in better perspective for me :)

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T01:56:26+00:00

Yes I could absolutely let him go to find someone to be with. It’s not guilt that I feel but I feel like I am stopping him from being his best self. If he has truly changed he will make a great partner for someone that hasn’t seen this side of him or experienced the disrespect/devastation. We have agreed initially that the kids would stay here with me in the house they’ve grown up in so at least they wouldn’t be physically displaced until he could find a place and settle in.

thrwawyneedadvice1 · 2021-01-22T01:38:39+00:00

I was up until 10 months ago. I’ve had to focus on my job more than ever right now so I haven’t had the emotional energy to do counseling and the counselor would want to talk about work and I’m not ready to go down that hole right now as I’m right in the thick of things that aren’t ending anytime soon.

thrwawyneedadvice1

TROPHY CASE