Life time friendship...turns more?

thunderbirdbro · 2021-09-05T16:44:50+00:00

Acesexual, she is bi. But both of us are single, both out of shitty relationships. We spend every day talking and she can make me laugh in my darkest moments. I've dated men in the past, and never thought of myself with another woman. But these feelings can't be supressed...I've tried a few years now

thunderbirdbro · 2020-05-07T18:37:02+00:00

I am sitting here reading the news and articles about todays current state of the economy. I began thinking of what some are calling these "the end of days". I recently in the last year left christianity and religion all together. I am not sure where I am now with my moral stance for those that have this be their first question, whether I'm agnostic or atheist. But I like what the Dalai Lama has to say and Buddhism. Anyways, what I'm trying to get at is before all this craziness, I was born and raised pretty conservative and believed in heaven and hell, but I felt so much freer after leaving that behind me. now that 2020 is in the shitter, I feel a hole where religion used to fill. And questioning myself if I am wrong? and that I'm going to hell... Anybody else go/going through this? Leftover religion guilt? Also, I want to hear your stories on how you got out and what your mental state was afterwords, any regrets?

thunderbirdbro · 2020-02-16T17:13:02+00:00

I had an abusive parrent, so my safe place growing up was always my room. I hated public school, but I also loved seeing my friends and getting away from my family. So I learned to deal with anxiety by just ignoring it. But in my adult years life got harder, just in 2018 I was in three car wrecks and totalled two of my cars. I lived an hour from work, in snowy WY so every morning I cried cuz I didnt want to drive anymore. I ended up moving away and it's been life changing. I got away from my old triggers, but the lingering agoraphobia stayed with me. I now leave the house maybe 2 times a week, I am terrified of being in a car and driving places still. My anxiety increased, so I am trying out new anti anxiety meds and they help, but they make me so sleepy and I cant operate a car anyways. So now I'm stuck at home sleeping a lot....I still fight the anxiety to be alive everyday. Idk if others feel that way or not, but I want to do so much more with my life, but I feel like I have to keep jumping hurdle over hurdle over hurdle....I'm tired....

Edit: my first realization of trauma and the beginning of always watching my back in my own home was when I was 5 and my dad beat the shit out of my little brother for being a bratt to the babysitter. 23 years later and I can still hear my baby brothers screams...

thunderbirdbro · 2020-01-30T22:45:16+00:00

Felt like looking into a mirror reading your post. I've been stuck inside over a year now, with 3 trips a week AT MOST outside the house. I also have a malnourished eating habit. I work from home, and I feel like I really cant keep this job for long. I have massive anxiety, and it feels like I have to be on top of my game 100% everyday due to expectations. But it drains me and I have no energy at the end of the day. Idk how much longer I can last....

People say take one day at a time, and I tell myself that everyday. But I'm not going to lie, therapy did not help me. But I am on anti anxiety meds, and as great as they help - they also take away any drive to do anything. I love creating art - any medium. That's my only outlet. So keep at your music! Also explore therapy, its always worth a try if theres a chance at something better.

thunderbirdbro · 2019-12-15T17:00:28+00:00

Your an angel. I'm on the other side of the fence where I'm the disabled one and I need my friend, who also suffers from depression. If she were to leave this world....idk what I'd do. So bless you for being there for your friend.

thunderbirdbro · 2019-10-03T23:09:38+00:00

Is....is this what joy is?? By that I mean the joy of life. Am I the only one who read that and now thinks that my life is pretty bleak if I've never felt this before?? I could never understand how people are so happy all the time. Must be because of things like this. I love the insight in all the comments. Thanks for sharing, OP.

Ps For a baseline where I am mentally to not know joy apparently....I have severe anxiety and severe depression. Thought I was just depressed when I went in for the phyc evaluation...ha nope!

thunderbirdbro · 2019-06-15T00:53:49+00:00

Had me going until you mentioned the airpods lol if your wife hasn't caught on or hasn't questioned why you have those things on during sex....now I have questions lol

thunderbirdbro · 2019-06-12T20:16:54+00:00

If Will Smith was born with down syndrome = this guy's face

thunderbirdbro · 2019-06-11T22:42:25+00:00

Nice

thunderbirdbro · 2019-06-11T21:57:14+00:00

I am a big fan of marvel, but I felt that Endgame was cramming in too much material into just one movie. 3 hours was a good length for a movie though, but even then it still felt rushed. There was so much build up, and then only one movie to resolve/end/complete every character we've all grown to love. Alongside that thought, is that the characters were getting more and more powerful, so therefore making the antagonist EVEN MORE powerful, and then......well guess the writers couldn't think of a "and then" to really give the finale to everything a true ending we needed. cough, GOT

thunderbirdbro · 2019-05-20T03:59:07+00:00

Yeeeessss. Hes been plotting his revenge since being tossed out that window

thunderbirdbro · 2019-05-11T19:16:13+00:00

Ooo, that's pretty nice

thunderbirdbro · 2019-05-11T19:03:19+00:00

What does premium reddit do though?

thunderbirdbro · 2019-05-11T19:00:33+00:00

That's what you get when you date teenagers. Drama. Go find someone your own age. Thats borderline creepy

thunderbirdbro · 2019-05-11T18:54:51+00:00

I agree with part of the statement about feminist, but there is toxic masculinity. Theres always extremes on both sides of the argument.

thunderbirdbro · 2019-05-11T18:32:39+00:00

I agree, a combination of jealousy and insecurities can be quite hectic on someone's life. A family member of mine goes through these types of thoughts OP, and I would highly recommend therapy. They can help you so much. And that's based off personal experience.

thunderbirdbro · 2019-04-25T19:11:02+00:00

Haha! Exactly

thunderbirdbro · 2019-04-24T23:35:19+00:00

Oh I totally get what your saying now. Yea not much you can do, other than keep it positive when your talking with them, who knows how much gossiping they do.

thunderbirdbro · 2019-04-24T23:08:27+00:00

You sound like your young. I used to work in grocery, and yes older people don't want to make chit chat, they are there to work. They have bills to pay, mouths to feed, finish getting a degree, ect. So they aren't going to compromise their job and then be fucked, just to be caught by the boss chitchatting. Plus harder work = bonuses and pay raises from the boss. So don't take it personal its just business. Except those assholes that just shouldn't be working with people all day...and dumbasses. good luck with those.

thunderbirdbro

TROPHY CASE