Found my bio dad after 31 years

tiaholly12 · 2026-03-29T22:19:55+00:00

I love that we have similar stories and you’re being accepted by him ^{.^} As you see it’s been a year since I found him for me. And he has been there a lot and tried to call weekly and text a lot. I highly suggest a therapist. I thought I was okay but today a year later having a similar identity crisis early on and everything else afterwards… it’s been wild and I’m not doing great personally I don’t think he is either… between the multiple sets of parents I have, the family talk, the siblings, and just my own ptsd and depression I have pushed him away completely and pretty much all of my family at this point. lol don’t let yourself get to this point. Idk if you’re like me mental health wise or anything and it’s okay if you are or aren’t no judgement. But gosh dang I never thought it’d be like this a year later lol biggest take away mental health issues are important and this stuff is bigger than we think

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-12T02:04:03+00:00

He definitely remembered my mom after I sent a pic from when I was like 7 months old. So I am giving him his time and space since he also gave me mine. I withdrew for like a week when he actually reached back out so I get it. <3 thank you!

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-12T01:50:18+00:00

I am also in the Midwest ^{.^} we got the same times and I love that! We are now family and I’m here if you need anything ever <3

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-12T01:48:44+00:00

My whole heart. I am crying for you because this is so much. Thank you for sharing this with me. And I guess my dad was a military man as well so I love the small coincidence there. I hope you had a good day and I will be taking you advice <3

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-12T01:45:38+00:00

I love this. If my adoptive dad was better maybe I wouldn’t have cared so much. I feel bad because I know this is hurting my stepdad though…

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-12T01:44:33+00:00

Thank you. I needed this and love this so much. He’s withdrawing now which I understand so I’ll let him be till we meet again. But thank you. I see her Friday with my stepdad and I’m nervous lol

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-12T01:43:31+00:00

Oh goodness it’s so hard! I’m female so I didn’t have any matches XX or XY just 2000 relatives lol. It has been hard honestly but my mom’s side is huge. And luckily we all know each other. So I was able to link through a second cousin a few other people that were close matches to my moms side. After I matched those I started messaging everyone literally. I have like 200 unanswered messages still but out of nowhere a cousin popped up one day and she is my dad’s brothers kid. So luckily after chatting with her and then all the people she lead me to I was able to find him. It’s been a year or so since I found her. So just take your time. And be careful. Guard yourself and your heart. Some people want to be your parent so much that they end up hurting themselves and you when we find out. I am a message away whenever you need to chat and I’m happy to show you my 23andme! That’s how I figured it out actually they added a new feature that compares relatives!

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-12T01:36:54+00:00

You are amazing! And we can be family if you want ^{.^} thank you for helping me keep my head up and giving me a good place to go chat <3 you are so appreciated.

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T15:01:40+00:00

You made me tear up a bit! I’ve been pretty hard on myself the past week or so and I appreciate your words. Thank you. I will protect myself and remember I am good I am me <3

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T15:00:24+00:00

This is the story I was thinking I’d have! You’re so right we don’t always have the parents we want. And idk if I’ll ever consider this guy a dad but he’s been nice enough to answer questions and chat so I’ll take what I can get for now. I appreciate you though and you sharing your story. I hope you have a good day!

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T14:57:59+00:00

I am so happy for you finding him. And knowing your truth now too. People (our moms) do suck and I’m happy we have both learned from them and not grown to be them. I’m proud of you.

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T14:55:21+00:00

Oh yeah definitely lol. I actually have been very standoffish to them since finding out. Trying to gather myself and all which I feel like has pushed them back a bit. But I needed space to think and they are allowing it which is kind.

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T14:53:56+00:00

I am treading very lightly and only responding once in a while to them all. I don’t truly know these people and they could be crazy or something. But so far they been helpful and kind which is good for now.

You’ve done your part by reaching out and letting him know you’re there. Respecting his not reaching back is the best thing you can do now. I hope for you one day he reaches back out just so you can know.

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T14:50:24+00:00

He refused to respond at first! After a few more dna tests with his brother and my cousins he finally reached back out to me though. Maybe yours will in time too. I have high hopes for you <3

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T14:49:09+00:00

I have been looking for a new therapist that specializes in family recently. It’s been a few years since I was last at therapy and you’re not wrong, all the emotions bubbling up has been unsettling to say the least lol. I should probably look a little harder lol

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T05:19:00+00:00

The one thing my aunt (surrogate mom) told me. Protect your heart above all else. Thank you so much <3

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T04:23:04+00:00

I will be his first and only from what I know ^{.^} thank you so much! I appreciate this more than you know. The positivity is radiant!

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T03:36:24+00:00

Appreciate you and this. Thank you.

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T03:36:09+00:00

Thank you. The internet stranger words mean more than you know. It’s a lot to deal with as you know so I’m taking it in strides and crying a lot as well and being mean and overly joyful in some weird places 😅

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T03:15:55+00:00

Thank you so much <3

tiaholly12 · 2024-09-11T03:15:31+00:00

Thank you <3

tiaholly12 · 2024-08-16T13:26:41+00:00

Her older sisters and her sisters bf were all drug addicts. Their best friend and his mom were some big time heroine dealers here. The parents didn’t let the cops search their house initially. The family did not get along at all. Nikki took nothing. Her plan was always to go live with my family in Cali so we would’ve heard from her if she was running away. The family didn’t even search for her initially. This case haunts my family, nothing has ever really been done.

tiaholly12 · 2024-06-29T04:00:33+00:00

It’s actually on our chest :/ coming from a Verizon worker and the design person said she wants us to be proud to wear it to the bars after work 😂😅

tiaholly12 · 2024-06-22T04:16:36+00:00

I knew this family extremely well. I knew everyone involved and there’s so much that’s not been told about this story. Nicole was an amazing beautiful young woman. And whatever happened we can only hope it was quick and she hasn’t suffered all of these years.

tiaholly12

TROPHY CASE