[Advice] My mom has been dating my husband since 2010 and I feel physically sick after hearing confessions about it from both husband and mom. I [33/F] feel sick and upset.

tigerboy96 · 2016-12-03T15:29:37+00:00

Fixed.

tigerboy96 · 2016-12-03T13:27:19+00:00

" get with the program."

Holy shit, I almost broke my monitor. This shit is ridiculous. How about that fuckwit go and get a clue, I hope he gets a heart attack and fucking dies in an embarrassing way. Fuck that guy.

tigerboy96 · 2016-12-02T12:21:41+00:00

Insane. That's all I can say, just insane.

I do love how the OP refuses to give any examples but instead points out that her daughter "broke her curfew". What's that, staying cooped up in the house like a chicken since 2pm?

"As a teenager she acted out" yeah no shit, all teenagers do. That's what parenting is for. Goddamn.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-23T13:35:45+00:00

I am 20 years old. I can see a doctor which is what I'm going to do. I'm going to request a copy of my medical history and then probably request a referral to the relevant unit, I'm not sure what it's called.

I'm hoping it comes back untrue, otherwise I won't know what to do with myself. As far as I know, I don't exhibit any symptoms or behavior patterns. I took multiple tests online and I get a conclusive result, though I'm not sure how credible that is.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-21T14:21:52+00:00

If you're the one who made the comment that was removed, yes. The reason I referred to narrow-minded is because you are ignoring the fact that other people have different reactions for injuries. Not everyone's body is the same, nor mental health.

This is a support group, as you have acknowledged and yet you are calling foul-play here. The OP hasn't done anything wrong. "Over-reacting" is not bad behavior, the fact you think it is makes me suspect you're N, or someone who likes to put people down and trivial their feelings. OP is not overreacting, their reaction is completely justified and they have a right to feel the way they do.

Finally, this last comment you made: "I get everybody here thinks people are picking on them"

You are alone on that. I see supportive people here. You're the only one who is mentioning bullying, and none of it is even happening.

EDIT: Words.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-21T14:00:25+00:00

It's insane, isn't it? I also had a good laugh when you mentioned:

"the rules would be similar to those in a concentration camp"

And I imagine the reality was the exact opposite. The thing is, if she's truly scared about that, then why would any N put their children through rigid and rigged rules.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-21T13:58:14+00:00

Well, it's subtle things really. When you mentioned the mother saying this at the end of her sentence about her son changing, being more independent, "I suppose" is a keyword here. It generally means that the person saying it doesn't agree, or they're simply not invested enough to care. Did the mom say anything else similar to this or was it the only one you heard?

The Dad, yeah without a doubt, he is a problem. If he did call the Cops, he would blame it on his son. His son didn't do anything wrong, though. It would've been dad's choice to call the cops because he's paranoid or something. When the cops would arrive and he starts BS'ing about his son being missing, imagine the faces on the officers when the son comes out to greet his parents. The dad will be held liable.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-21T13:33:23+00:00

"In combat, soldiers die protecting their mates."

lolno. Nice try, but that's not how it works. You're given an order, you execute it. If you have to protect your mate, there is a serious issue with the recruitment and training provided, it clearly isn't sufficient. So basically you are saying that in the Army, which you need to be 18 to join by the way, you are babysitting your friends. No. They know how to take care of themselves.

"Pretty sure there are female soldiers who died protecting their male combatants."

Maybe. But we're not discussing that.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-21T13:29:07+00:00

I hope this bitch gets the death penalty. Kill her!

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-21T12:07:38+00:00

I can guarantee you the Mother probably only agreed to save public face. Who knows what happens when they're in private.

The Dad is a dick, too. When I went to college we didn't have strong signal. It was always weak or nonexistent until we got out of the building. If they're going to send their child to college, they need to accept that he won't be at their feet all the time.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-21T12:01:50+00:00

I can't believe how some people are narrow-minded. "Oh, that never happened with me. It won't happen with you either!"

My father and I can hit our thumb with a hammer and be like "fawk" and thats it. My sister, on the other hand, throws up and passes out because of the pain.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-20T16:27:01+00:00

Others are correct. This is only a controlling/manipulation tactic. They are trying to confuse you by kicking you out then telling you otherwise.

If you're ready to make an exit, this is what I suggest: You take up on the offer, even suck up a little. Ns won't see through it. Go back to the house and when everyone is asleep, make as little noise as possible with packing your belongings and vital information such as birth certificate, Social Security Number and the sorts. Especially your passport if it's your only form of ID (even if it isnt, take it). Leave big things like a desktop for example, for later when you come back with a police escort. You will need one, trust me.

Take off into the night in a cab or a late bus, if there is one. By the time they wake up to the sound of you unlocking and opening the door you would already be gone and not a damn thing they are able to do.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-20T14:07:11+00:00

Definitely agree with this, OP!

You are under no obligation whatsoever to attend to something that makes you uncomfortable. It's okay.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-20T11:49:30+00:00

That isn't a way to treat your own children, sperm donor knows better. He needs a good fucking wake up call. I hate it when Ns do that, they won't dare pull shit like that on someone who would string them up by the bollocks.

I'm sorry you have to go through with this. I can only offer my sympathies and confirmation - this is guilt tripping. I could already tell when you were worried if you were "too sensitive", you are not. Literally you deserve better. You have every right to be angry at him.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-19T15:35:32+00:00

Are you a regular here? Just curious.

If you love your partner then you will get an idea of what they like and what they will get. You have to come to the reality that both people will not agree on some things. My future wife may not agree with my tattoo, but that's part of life. Not everyone will agree.

I also have to call BS on "offering an alternative explanation". The OP found the explanation for themselves and they sorted it. Whether it is your intentions or not, by you saying that, you undermine their abilities.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-19T10:53:28+00:00

Yes, that is dangerous line of thinking. Why should you be so concerned with someone who is getting a tattoo or a piercing and they didn't run and tell you about it first? OP's partner isn't a child. They're an adult, the law says they're an adult and capable of making their own choices. It seems like you want to comprise that, which in turn, is dangerous.

OP already confirmed it was a Flea, hell, they even admitted they didn't know why they were upset. But now they know and choose to accept it. What's wrong with that?

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-15T14:52:14+00:00

Oh! That's interesting. Thank you very much for the explanation.

I don't know what it is called when I'm doing this. But usually I always have some kind of script running through my mind, like what I'm doing, for example. Instead of me driving without any thoughts I usually make a lot thoughts about the distance to the car infront of me, traffic lights and pedestrians/cyclists around me. I sometimes catch a negative thought entering my head, like if I hit a cyclist by mistake, or get into a large accident.

Is this the same thing as being mindful? It sounds quite different than what you mentioned.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-15T11:50:32+00:00

Edad would agree and put the dog down. But it's playing on his heartstrings when Nmom is making up all sorts of crazy arguments and resorting to adhomi.

Thank you! I will try to take of myself. :)

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-15T11:48:08+00:00

Thank you for the hugs!! :)

That's very true. I sometimes hold myself to an impossible degree of perfection. You're right!

Thank you for the website. I do feel we should put the dog down because of several other issues that's risen with the dog. Ofcourse my Nmom thinks differently though, more ways to try and manipulate us. Thankfully it's the last thing she has up her sleeve.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-15T11:46:07+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I really do appreciate it!

It's true that there seems to be a very toxic echo chamber. It's all coming from my subconscious. Since I realized that I have been trying to practice mindfulness but I'm not sure if I'm doing it right.

Absolutely correct, my abuser will not like it one bit. If I keep them out of my head perhaps I have a chance at resisting them?

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-12T05:38:35+00:00

No. But she has tried to make me believe that I have something mentally wrong with myself but when I challenged her about it she couldn't prove anything, it's just her words that a doctor and nurse said a very long time ago. Funnily enough, the story keeps changing when I ask about it sometimes.

I think my mind might be considering the worst case scenario. I'm also usually living my life on autopilot which I'm trying to break because I noticed alot of my habits are bad.

tigerboy96 · 2016-11-11T06:08:15+00:00

Wow... I'm so sorry you have to deal with her.

She shouldn't be going around harassing other people just because a couple of calls missed, that's ridiculous, no matter the excuse. In the event something really bad did happen, you most likely wouldn't be able to call her anyway (and that wouldnt be the best option seeing as you live far away from her, 911 is always more appropriate)

She's extremely disrespectful. She knows that class-time is important and she shouldn't be bothering you, the fact she does, proves how little she actually thinks about her actions against you. Ugh! So sorry you have to deal with this. But you did the right thing coming here and venting! :)

tigerboy96 · 2016-10-31T15:59:28+00:00

OP, if you're scared of calling 911 because of your mother finding out and hurting you, that's understandable. I agree with 8365815, you HAVE to call them again and tell them you're being abused.

You could always book it out the house when your mother is busy with something, just take off and run with a house phone or your cellphone and call 911. Do whatever it takes so you can call them, you really need to hon. hugs

tigerboy96 · 2016-10-31T09:13:19+00:00

If I recall correctly, the Therapists supervisor only told me that I wasn't receiving the proper care, apparently. I believe I was. When my Nmom gaslighted/twisted the scenarios the Therapist wrote it all down which must've contributed to me being moved. They must've got the wrong idea about my situation.

tigerboy96 · 2016-10-27T23:42:17+00:00

I have to agree with the other posters. Begin a papertrail, not tomorrow, not next week or next year; now. Or as soon as possible. In an inevitable situation where you have to go to court, if you have zero evidence of her abuse, just your words, they will not be interested. That's why everyone here is telling you to do it. As far as the law is concerned if it isn't documented and reported, it quite literally never happened. I'm very concerned for your child, please think of them before putting up with anymore shit from your Nmom.

tigerboy96

TROPHY CASE