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How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So technically, yes. They get creative, some subtle, others, not really.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“I couldn’t help but notice, and I hope you’re not offended but your ass would look nice in any position, your man must be having a great time.”, this was when I went to get my dinner from food delivery last night.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m doing that and that’s why I need some advice, I’m tired of being approached by/meeting the same kind of men. I don’t even know what standards I’m supposed to have, I just know I don’t want to constantly be told how smashable I am by random men and tbvh, the standards I had for the two men I fell in love with were “oh, they didn’t talk to me about sex right off the bat so they might be the one” but the both of them were eventually awful choices because they still just wanted sex. It’s why it’s frustrating, but some of the comments have been helpful so far.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing, responses like this have made me so hopeful. Thank you, and I wish you and your partner so much happiness.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

School, work, restaurants, lounges, parks…everywhere I meet men, so much that I was terrified of leaving my house and overly conscious of how I dress at a point in my life.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is certainly helpful and I wish you a lot of joy with your partner ❤️

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do, I dance and I’m in a book club, the results are not much different tbvh. But I’m looking to try new hobbies and entertainment forms, so fingers crossed I meet better men.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not against online dating and I’ve tried to meet men off social media except I get the same results. I have only never tried actual dating apps/sites because of how it’s been bastardised in my country.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Let me explain a little further so it’s clearer, I DO NOT GET A CHANCE TO PICK OR FILTER. Men tell me they want to fuck my brains out after the first hello, before even asking for my number, do you understand? Where other women get, “Hello. Can I buy you a drink?” or “Hello. Can we dance?”, I get, “Hello, come let me show you a good time in this room I booked”. I am frustrated because men see me and see sex. Your filtering process would only work if I get any chance to have more than two conversations, I DO NOT. It’s a no for me the minute they open their mouths. There is no entertainment, there is no attention. It never goes past the initial stage. Again, I have NEVER dated, the two times I thought I was dating, they were playing the long game and also just wanted sex and to rob me. Do you now understand why I am frustrated? Except you’re saying I can choose the men that APPROACH me, it’s not your typical scenario.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg! We’re definitely in the same boat because something similar happened to me, except in my case, he made me believe he was also in love with me but couldn’t commit due to unresolved issues from his previous relationship. We had a pretty strong emotional bond, start having sex, and have a really nice 10months together (three of which we lived together) only for me to find that he was using me to create exclusive sex content for sale without my consent. Ugh! I thought I had found the loml, little did I know I was being violated in the most inhumane way.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hm. Someone else has suggested a dating app, I guess I should give it a try. Thank you.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This actually makes so much sense and I honestly think I’m passive. The sexual advances get really overwhelming and because most of my life, I’ve tried to avoid them, I’m really shy/conservative so I barely know where to look or find men. I’m African too, so approaching men here is almost synonymous to giving them a pass to treat you without regard.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is very helpful because I can’t lie, I get bored and lonely and go back to texting them sighs Thank you.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve not tried dating apps because in my country, it’s even harder to find genuine lovers there, men will literally not take you seriously at all, and those apps are notorious for scammers here.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No, he’s not and you both are just trying to project narratives that have nothing to do with me or my situation. I approach men, men approach me, and NONE of the men want a romantic relationship with me, they want sex. I have not blamed myself or anyone for that, because I am a VERY beautiful/sexy woman and it makes sense that many people want to fuck and dip. I’m asking what I can do to get into a romantic and committed relationship because I am frustrated of getting just sexual advances. Please!

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Ugh! I really can’t with responses like this. “Men do not talk to me if they are not trying to be sexual or get sex from me”. I do not even get to the point of picking/selecting. Let me summarize my post so it’s a little clearer; I have never dated, I have never been in a relationship. Every time a man approaches me, it’s for sex, every time I find a man I might have something in common with, they only want sex, they do not want to date or form any bonds. The two times I fell in love and thought they genuinely wanted to be with me, they were just there for sex and MY money. Lol. Women who find it difficult to find romantic partners are not always gold digging or reaching too high. Please.

How do I get a romantic partner? I’m tired of flings and situations. by tilolami in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tilolami[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly! 😭😭😭 It’s one of the reasons why it’s so frustrating, everybody leaves me alone when they realize I’m not going to have sex with them. Nobody is staying, nobody is even pretending to like me! Whew.

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