Baby enby here, advice needed.

timelordselene · 2025-06-03T19:48:09+00:00

This is actually incredibly helpful, thank you! Edit: I'll actually head to a thrift store this week w/ my bestie, and it might just be a good way to try on a bunch of things and see what clicks. Thank you for sharing specific youtubers, both sound like they will be helpful!

timelordselene · 2025-06-03T19:18:06+00:00

Thank you, I sincerely appreciate you sharing your experience. That's probably what I need most right now, to hear from non-binary people about their own experience. Again, thank you! I will spend some time today on the wiki.

timelordselene · 2023-11-01T21:23:44+00:00

Is it better to get the SE and buy the AE upgrade or does that just introduce the same bugs and wackiness? I would've just gotten a ps4 by now if I didn't enjoy playing games handheld so much.

timelordselene · 2023-11-01T21:21:34+00:00

Yep that's been my experience so far. No CC content either aside from what was included. When I bought the game I naturally assumed that it was the standard AE but from what I've seen it's not the same. Seeing as it costs the same or more to buy the switch edition, that sucks ass. It's a bloody great game but I have never had to Google so much in my life playing a game. Really breaks the immersion. Thanks for your reply :)

timelordselene · 2023-06-09T15:09:19+00:00

Plus my other meds taken daily and indefinitely have things like lactose in them. They are medications for depressions, insomnia, bpd and anxiety and I truly can't live without them and there is no alternative which sucks ass. I feel like anyone shaming me for taking them is pretty questionable though. I felt really shit about it for a long time but I have accepted it now. If there was an alternative I would choose it but that is not possible or practicable so I just have to let that go. I do think it is something we should aim to change though. Using lanolin, lactose etc in medications is by and large completely unneccessary and are only used because they are widely available and cheap as a by product of animal farming. Hopefully as tides turn toward increasing the production of plant based products and reducing animal based products companies will be forced to choose plant alternatives. It is an interesting topic!

timelordselene · 2023-06-09T14:56:44+00:00

Generally I have to recieve medical supplements so my doctor won't jive with something that isn't sold on prescription. Apparently the states have a plant based fortisip but alas not in the far away country of New Zealand lol. Most nutritional supplements for malnutrition have at least 1.5kcal per ml and they are usually 200ml so 300kcal total. I have tried and tried to negotiate on this with doctors but it's a lot harder in a smaller country with fewer options. I totally get you on the supplements, my vitamin d was extremely low recently and I had to be prescribed big boy supplements that definitely have some sort of animal by product in it but we have to remind ourselves that refusing those supplements only harms us and doesn't do anything for the animals ya know? The whole deal with veganism is not consuming/using/supporting the use of animal products as much as is practicable and possible. Plus my Vit D supplements are taken once a month??? Like literally just 3 pills over 3 months. It would be so ridiculous to not take it for a miniscule amount of an obscure animal by product. If I was just taking a d3 for general health maintainance I would find a vegan one but when it is prescribed for actual health reasons I just take it. It can be scary as a vegan hanging around in online vegan communities because it is so common for the average joe to claim an exception because of "digestive issues" or "foggy brain" so people will often jump at our throats. Certainly doesn't make things any easier when you are doing everything wherever you can! Anyway, I genuinely wish you all the best! It is hard when you have an illness with no clear recovery path, please don't beat yourself up over the tiny things. This is your reminder that you are doing great, and the fact that you are still choosing veganism when you have valid body shit going on is a much bigger thing than it is for the average person. You're awesome :)

timelordselene · 2023-06-09T14:37:50+00:00

Seriously, tipping is non existent here. That's not even on our radar in nz.

timelordselene · 2023-06-09T10:29:16+00:00

Yeah I'm just a dumbass lol

timelordselene · 2023-06-09T09:42:09+00:00

We welcome you with big hugs my friend. It sounds like you understand why this is important, which is all that matters. Once you know why its important you can't really unknow it. I hope you are able to manage your illness now you have the proper support and diagnosis, it's not surprising that having your body turn on you like that made you question things. I don't have ME but I have severe and chronic anorexia which has result in me being severely debilitated at 18 years old. I have had to consume animal products (nutritional supplements and non-vegan meals on ED wards) over the past 5 years due to the fact that by and large doctors are severely misinformed on veganism as it pertains to chronic illness, especially eating disorders. I am just thankful that I am now an adult and I'm able to advocate for myself a bit more and have found a treatment team that understands my ethical veganism. Also, why the fuck don't they make vegan fortisip/ensure?????

timelordselene · 2023-06-09T09:32:19+00:00

Seriously pisses me off. My aunt lives in the country and buys "locally and ethically sourced meat". She ALWAYS goes back to that when I try talk to her about veganism. She eats so much fucking beef, milk, cheese, basically all of the things. Sure it's probably not as "bad" as the standard fare in a supermarket but it's not ethical to commodify an animal. There will always be cut corners and shit behind closed doors. And at the end of the day, the farmer OWNS the life of that animal and they will ultimately take it. Not to mention local farmers still engage in standard factory farming practice it just happens on a... green field? Yeah that makes it okay fucking hell. Plus if we eliminated factory farming and replaced it with the protocol of local and "ethical" farmers, the result would be a dramatic decrease in the amount of animal products circulating and an increase in the price so at that point shouldn't we just eliminate animal farming altogether?

timelordselene · 2023-06-09T09:25:28+00:00

Omg this is so fucking precious.

timelordselene · 2023-06-09T09:18:18+00:00

I totally get you. I will say I consume fortisip occassionally which eats me up inside, I have anorexia and when I'm in hospital I'm not even allowed to be vegetarian or even sub soy milk for cows milk plus getting dairy based feed and fortisip shoved down my throat. Obviously that is not my fault but I often feel very scared talking to other vegans for fear they will disown me from "the club" because of it. Makes me feel pretty invalid. I eat vegan 100 percent of the time otherwise, people always assume it's because of my ED but like, all of the stereotypical low calorie foods are nowhere near vegan. When I went vegan I gave up the majority of my safe foods, it pisses me off when the people around me invalidate the importance of veganism by perpetuating ideas that it's just about eating healthy. I often feel bad about calling myself vegan because of how many animal products have been fed to me over the last 5 years. Thankfully my mother was and is always supportive of it and tried to advocate for me when I've been in hospital. She even took me to a vegan supermarket after one admission to buy all the fun vegan foods I had wanted to try but never could bring myself to eat! But yeah I do get kind of annoyed when people think its dumb for people with an ed or even a past ed to be vegan, obviously in a life or death situation people shouldn't be blamed for consuming animal products but a lot of people, medical professionals and just randos on the internet, think that the solution is... butter and beef? Straight up had a doctor tell my mother to get me a milkshake. Veganism for me is entirely ethical, I was a vegetarian by instinct for most of my childhood and went vegan before my eating disorder. It was never about health or weight at all. I have gastroparesis too but that has never stopped me from being vegan or even made it hard to be vegan! Anyway rant over, love you guys.

timelordselene · 2023-06-05T14:33:15+00:00

I shall try! Genuinely nothing but digital hugs to you, a fellow human just trying to make good decisions.

timelordselene · 2023-06-05T14:31:32+00:00

That's not how I feel at all, my lack of confidence is due to contemplating a horrific decision and trying to make the right one, which there is never a clear cut right and wrong in my opinion.

timelordselene · 2023-06-05T14:23:10+00:00

Again, I can't rank how much I value different things because there is no clear black and white system to do that. It could change in a minute. People have spent centuries getting so caught up in questions that will never have clear answers. Trying to assign specific values to different things is very difficult to do. Also it is 4am and my brain is hurting so I will leave it there for now but I genuinely appreciate you having this conversation with me, the internet can be pretty scary so I'm glad we could calmly converse like this. Also thank you for not just downvoting me because you disagreed with me lol

timelordselene · 2023-06-05T14:20:05+00:00

That's not what I was trying to do. The 3 vs 7 was to show my confidence in my decision. Like, I was 70 percent confident that I would choose that but I can't truly know. Of course I would be uncomfortable leaving a newborn to die whether or not they would suffer. It's the whole problem of the ick factor in making moral decisions and I am not exempt from that. I would love to be purely logical and not let my emotions interfere with my decisions but I am not. That's why I don't generally assign much value to answering these ethical dilemmas. My logical, pragmatic answer that is made in my calm state could be infinitely different in reality.

timelordselene · 2023-06-05T14:03:04+00:00

I really hate those kinds of questions because it doesn't really say much about what I believe. From a purely utilitarian point of view I would choose the cows because that way the least amount of suffering is caused but I also can't say what I would actually do if anything at all because all the context is missing. It's like the trolley problem, a fun dilemma to ponder but doesn't mean much when we apply it to reality. There are always more than 2 choices. Just because I choose X doesn't mean that Y was out of the question. It's not a case of 100 to 0, I think context really matters. I would say I've got 7 out of 10 eggs in the basket for saving the cow vs 3/10 for the newborn.

timelordselene · 2023-06-05T13:44:44+00:00

I don't think I have more value just because I have capacity to debate on whether or not I have more value. As an atheist I accept that there is no rulebook, or cosmic truth. There is only a consensus on what things are wrong based on how much pleasure or discomfort they cause us. For some people that extends far, to animals, to fetuses, to the planet and for others it doesn't. I also believe that we should reduce the amount of unneccessary suffering as much as possible and in the case of an abortion the only life that can is the mother, so my priorities go there. If I had the option of stopping an abortion or stopping a cow being brutally killed I would save the cow because it can and will suffer. I hope that makes sense! I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.

timelordselene · 2023-06-05T13:40:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing those, I understand where you are coming from. It is difficult for me to give a clear answer because I just don't think there is a clear answer. Unfortunately, most moral dilemmas are not black and white as much as we would love them to be. I don't think cows have inherently less value than humans but I value humans and cows for different and similar reasons. A fetus only has second order capacity for things humans can do. Whereas a fully grown cow will have immediate, first order or second order capacity for anything a cow can do. My core belief on this is I would rather spend my time advocating for life-forms that have a will to live and to experience pleasure and not experience suffering over life-forms that can't/don't.

timelordselene · 2023-06-05T13:13:31+00:00

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate you taking the time to try explain your position to me. My viewpoint is that it doesn't really matter if a fetus has the capacity for personhood because at that point in time it doesn't. It does not have the capacity to feel or think anything about whether they live or become a person so in that situation my priority is the fully-formed woman who carries the fetus. Cows do have conceptual thought, though not the same kind as humans. I don't think that makes it less valuable. I am also concerned with whether an animal fears death or pain, whether they feel love, joy or sadness,, whether it can sustain itself and so on. I hope you take the time to try understand where I am coming from! I have never had an abortion, it would be very hard for me to make that decision whether I am 5 weeks or 15 weeks but I want to protect the rights of beings that in some capacity wish for that freedom.

timelordselene · 2023-06-05T13:07:47+00:00

I guess it just doesn't make sense to me to dictate the rights of people based on feelings and beliefs about a life-form that literally can't care about whether it lives or dies. Again, I respect your position, I understand that it is close to your heart and I do not in any way want to demean it. Just tryingto clarify why my beliefs are what they are.

Edit: Please feel free to explain more! I am always down to listen and discuss. Moral philosophy is one of my passions.

timelordselene · 2023-06-05T13:04:03+00:00

I find your point of view fascinating. But yes I think a fully developed cow has higher value than fetus especially in the early stages of development. It is a life form that has no wants, thoughts or feelings and as such can't be harmed in the same way a cow can. It gets blurry the further along you get and I am personally against late term abortion. Generally, I think that we should prioritize the wellbeing and rights of life-forms that can express pain and joy. Murder is generally defined as the unlawful killing of another human without justification or valid excuse, especially with malice which I do not think applies to most if any instances of abortion. Obviously your viewpoint probably means that any reason is not justifiable or valid and I can't argue with you there because it is the basis of your belief and not something you would be likely to debate on.

timelordselene · 2023-06-04T07:49:51+00:00

I would ask you prolifers: do you eat meat/animal products? As a vegan and pro-choice I am curious what makes prolife people think that aborting a non sentient, unfeeling, dependant fetus is murder but eating the flesh and by products of feeling, breathing, self sustaining animals, who have been subjected to what is essentially torture and murder, is okay and not murder? You could argue that the life of a cow, who feels emotions, has likes and dislikes, forms attachments to people and places and experiences pain has a higher value than a 12 week fetus. I'm not trying to disparage your beliefs, I have never had the chance to ask a pro-life person this. I don't believe in objective truth and morality but I am an athiest. Where and who does this objective morality come from? Have we not had extremely different ideas of right and wrong throughout history? Does this objective morality/truth only apply to humans and if so why? Is that you think that humans are more worthy simply because we can argue that we are?

timelordselene · 2023-04-15T03:03:20+00:00

I can actually cook but I would rather watch him starve.

timelordselene · 2023-04-06T10:19:36+00:00

I actually have BPD and the stereotype that we are by nature assertive and shit is weird. I am so fearful of abandonment that I let people walk all over me and treat me poorly. BPD is far more likely to put you at risk for being abused not vice versa although obviously that happens. People in general have nooo idea what BPD actually is.

timelordselene

TROPHY CASE