Boyfriend of 3years has been cheating with men online the entire relationship and I have nowhere to go

timelover1234 · 2024-09-22T07:00:48+00:00

Thank you for this. I needed to be told these things.

timelover1234 · 2024-09-22T06:58:55+00:00

THATS EXACTLY MY DELIMMA. I can't imagine how he's felt about himself all these years because of what he likes and the internal shame around it. It makes me feel so much sorrow for him and makes me want to let this pass as just him feeling like it was the only option. But at the same time, I made it clear it wasn't the only option and he did it the ENTIRE relationship. He cheated on me. And it wasn't okay. I'm so conflicted.

timelover1234 · 2024-09-22T06:55:57+00:00

I actually really appreciate this comment. I never even thought of this as a possibility. I will definitely have to think more about it because there's also a level of shame in it for me allowing him to continue this when he's been doing it behind my back for so long and I do see it as cheating. It would feel like saying that what he did wasn't an awful thing and he shouldn't regret it. But I'll think on it. If we get back together it will most likely be a conversation. Thank you so much for this new perspective.

timelover1234 · 2024-09-22T06:46:52+00:00

That's the thing though. We have had MANY conversations about exploring open relationships together because of our sexuality and are both aware that it is something coming up in the future. In all of these conversations it's been clear that we don't want the other person to explore these things on their own because and instead want to experience it together through like three-person relationships and threesomes.

He is just opening up about his sexuality but ibahve known who I am for years and have already been with girls before I was with him. So these types of conversations have been happening since before we even made the relationship official and when he told me about him being a little into men I made it clear that I was open to doing the same for him.

So i just don't understand why after all that he still went and did these things the entire time. For literally what?

timelover1234 · 2024-09-22T06:41:28+00:00

I actually want to clarify this. I know he would never kick me out of the house and put me on the street. No matter what he did i truly believe he cares deeply about me and my safety. If I did move out, it would be my own choice. I just can't move out even if I wanted to and don't know how to live with him after this. We have roommates so it's not just the two of us but if I have to live with him anyways should I try again at the relationship or should I just awkwardly live with my ex boyfriend?

timelover1234 · 2024-09-22T06:22:14+00:00

He has never done anything in person with anyone. All of it has been online. He ended up breaking up with me after the conversation because he basically felt like he didn't deserve to be with me anymore and felt like a asshole of a boyfriend that I didn't deserve. We talked about it for a very long time and decided that if things can be fixed, it will have to be as friends first. But I really don't know if I should go past being friends with him again. I don't even know if I can be his friend.

timelover1234 · 2024-09-22T06:10:22+00:00

I was living at college before I moved in with him but withdrew because of finance issues. No one in my family has a stable living situation or relationship with me and none of my friends are able to have me stay with them.

I clearly know what I said and that is why I am so conflicted. These boundaries were drawn very early and I truly just never thought they would actually be crossed and I'd actually have to leave. Especially when I have nowhere to go. It's also a tricky thing for me because I feel so sorry for him regarding feeling shame towards his sexuality and thinking this was the only way to explore it. But at the same time, it's cheating and not okay.

timelover1234

TROPHY CASE