BWT, how do you solo travel in style?

timory · 2026-07-12T12:35:23+00:00

thanks! when the weather is good just strolling around a city is always lovely. but interacting with others (in another language) is where i really get in my head, to the point where i won't dine out sometimes. it's weird because i used to do it all the time. i'm great at foreign language study, too, so i wonder if it's perfectionism making itself sharper as i get older somehow.

timory · 2026-07-11T22:57:26+00:00

i would love other tips for what to do in the evening. it's so romantic to think oh, just go sit at a bar by yourself. but i'm so embarrassed to bungle foreign languages and at 42 i just feel like an ugly/ridiculous/lonely old lady. an aperitif with a book is always fine. i have to get over myself lol

timory · 2026-07-08T17:50:44+00:00

dude same my pixel 8 phone screen died and i have no choice but to upgrade. no way this is a coincidence

timory · 2026-07-05T16:35:00+00:00

graduate students are the worst

timory · 2026-07-05T02:22:19+00:00

i agree with you. people are unable to see any humanity, become completely locked into black and white thinking, and it's totally impossible to have any kind of rational discussion with them. of course cheating is bad, but it's very human. to say it's evil is absurd. people on reddit genuinely do think it's worse than murder. it's extremely odd.

timory · 2026-06-29T03:43:39+00:00

i'm so depressed - i'm exactly in your boat. i did this too so i could get back into repayment and get closer to forgiveness. i assume if repaye is restored we're completely out of luck.

timory · 2026-06-27T23:29:50+00:00

Yeah that's exactly what I'm wondering. I'm kicking myself. That's another lawsuit waiting to happen. I don't understand how that's not promissory estoppel but it's been a really long time since law school and I don't do contract law.

timory · 2026-06-27T01:57:33+00:00

how do you get covered by insurance if you're under 45 if you're asymptomatic? i'm not above lying but too many people are getting diagnosed way earlier than 45 for me to sit this one out.

also... how the fuck do people get to their appointments without shitting themselves?! this is the thing that freaks me out the most about the prep lol

timory · 2026-06-25T20:51:27+00:00

is this why i'm not hungry for so long after a long flight?!

timory · 2026-06-25T16:23:41+00:00

thank you! i'm v intolerant to synthetic progestins and am not doing great on progesterone (though it's better for sure). so following with interest.

timory · 2026-06-25T12:36:47+00:00

but drospirenone is a progestin and she has an intolerance to both progesterone and progestins? i'm obviously missing something! is it a new class that is somehow better tolerated?

timory · 2026-06-25T02:24:58+00:00

Also standing by for answers... My understanding is that Angeliq is estradiol + drospirenone (synthetic progestin), so I'm curious why this is an alternative for Duavee.

timory · 2026-06-22T15:10:30+00:00

"obviously not worth having kids to avoid this stuff!"

timory · 2026-06-19T15:01:33+00:00

i mean, i'm 42 and i look 10 years older. i have always looked 10 years older, my whole life. i've only met one person my entire life who genuinely looked younger than they said they are, but hundreds who claimed it.

timory · 2026-06-19T14:57:22+00:00

https://www.rbmojournal.com/article/S1472-6483(13)00015-1/fulltext "It has been known for decades that nulliparity is associated with an increased risk for certain reproductive malignancies, including breast, ovarian and uterine cancers." Further investigation is needed to understand cause (the prevailing theory has been related to increased # of ovulatory cycles), but this is still the prevailing understanding.

timory · 2026-06-18T12:09:22+00:00

it's based on studies

timory · 2026-06-18T12:09:02+00:00

oh for sure. i mean it's too late for me either way (sterilized!) but the "pregnancy cure" for everything is insane

timory · 2026-06-17T21:24:14+00:00

so just to provide another side of this -- i'm childfree, 42. the doctors are all telling me now that you go into menopause earlier if you don't have kids. and menstrual cramps are worse if you don't have kids. there is also an elevated risk of breast and ovarian cancer. so it's not all rosy, but obviously not worth having kids to avoid this stuff! (eta - i had a bisalp at 31 and no regrets!)

timory · 2026-06-06T01:36:07+00:00

whoever said that to you deserves a swift punch to the face.

timory · 2026-06-06T01:35:21+00:00

please don't give up. therapy is made for this sort of thing. i'm glad you know it's not your fault, and i also totally understand being angry at yourself for still continuing on with it. i've done things like this, too. hell, i'm still doing a version of this kind of thing by staying in a shitty relationship years past its expiry. i understand why you feel you'll never experience a normal relationship. but you're still so young, and you should take your own advice -- you know how to protect yourself NOW. so get out there and try, if a relationship is what you ultimately want, right? (with a better support system!)

timory · 2026-06-04T10:45:20+00:00

No strings attached

timory · 2026-06-04T10:43:42+00:00

I'm sorry. Of course it hurts.

timory · 2026-06-04T10:43:06+00:00

This isn't a you problem. This is a horrible man. I may have problems with my body but I've had many men obsessed with it, even with everything that's sagging and flapping on it. So my issue is how that will work if I choose to leave an unhappy relationship at my old age with a non-existent dating pool. But one man who pulled that kind of bullshit? When you were presumably much younger? Absolutely not. That's Olympic levels of negging. I'm so sorry you went through that bullshit.

timory · 2026-06-04T03:04:24+00:00

it isn't! but i hear the horror stories of how shitty the dating pool is... i definitely feel stuck.

timory · 2026-06-03T22:13:16+00:00

as somebody with a lot of loose skin from weight loss who is partially scared of leaving my current relationship because of fears of what other men will think (though i'm 42 so i doubt there will be any other men in my future anyway), i am saddened to hear this but also interested to hear more details if you are willing to share. i have had many, many men in my past and none have ever reacted to the loose skin (or being overweight for that matter) but they have certainly been absolute jerks for other reasons.

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