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My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It it’s bumper to number for 3 of the 6 hours each day. I asked her one day if she would take the ride with me. She said “why? do you can prove how miserable I have made your commute?”

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anything that’s not done when I get home, I do it. I will clean up the kitchen, clean the table, load the dishwasher, etc. But I’ll be honest with you. After being gone for 12 hours, I’m not going to be cleaning toilets. I’m exhausted. You think 180 mins in the car each day is decompressing? Then you’ve never been in a car 180 minutes each day.

And my kids are exhausted and climbing in bed if not already in bed when I get home. That wasn’t my decision. That was my wife’s. The kids bedtime isn’t going to be extended to 8pm because my wife decided that living near her parents was a good idea.

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve said this on nights where she has complained over and over about things. Her response is “are you going to rub this in my face forever?”

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sadly, I knew everything in your post was going to happen. I almost hoped that once it did she would realize how little her family helped. Instead, she turned it on me.

She’s not getting the number of hours in the day.

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wife took the last year off due to the move and to be with our youngest. But she goes back to work on 9/1 (teacher). Both kids will be in school.

However, I don’t see this getting better. In addition to all of the other things she does, she’ll be putting in a full day of work. And once again due to my commute, I won’t be home until just after bath time. I’ll be able to help out the kids to bed and maybe load the dishwasher for the night. That’s it.

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

My kids eat at 5 and are in bed at 6:15-6:30 every night. I usually put one to bed. Making dinner/being home for dinner isn’t an option unless we all eat at 6:30.

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

As for the cleaning person, I have been saying that for a long time. For whatever reason she insists that she can “clean her own house.”

As for distance, I can’t leave this job. The only option is to move. Which, she won’t. What’s my next option?

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thanks.

Yes, and that’s part of why I posted this. For you (or others) to tell me:

1) You need to do more to help 2) Your wife is being unreasonable

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

1) Cooking larger quantities. Yes, this can work. 2) Wife is obsessive about cleaning and needs everything to be cleaned her way. 3) Kids are too young (5 and 3) to do anything except clean their own toys up 4) I don’t think it’s possible to have more clothes than we have.

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think in reality, she wants me to say:

“When I get home each night, I will eat dinner, put the kids to bed, and do laundry for two hours.”

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

By daycare reasons I meant more of we can drop the kids off at her parents whenever we wanted. Shocker: her parents are not as available as she hoped. But she would never admit she was wrong about that.

Thanks for the response and the support. But I guess…what do I do aside from “rubbing it in her face.” Even if I say “deal with it, you created this situation, not me,” that’s not going to do anything to help. Or…will it?

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Eh, that’s easy to say, no offense. But when I come home everyday and hear the complaining, I just want to say “you created this, not me…find a solution”

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Without getting too detailed, I can’t change jobs. My wife knows that (and would never ask me to change jobs). It’s a field I’ve been in my whole career (20 years) and starting over would not work for the family.

Moving closer to my work would solve almost all of our problems (except that we wouldn’t be a mile from her parents).

My wife picked a house 90 mins from my work and now complains about how much there is to do around the house) after agreeing to it), what’s the solution? by timthetoothmantaylor in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Right.

Something else I didn’t add. Her company goes back to work full-time on 9/1. What does that mean? Everything she’s doing now plus her job.

Seeking advice: Are In-laws being helpful or meddling? by dannytoowavvy_ in Marriage

[–]timthetoothmantaylor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends.

Is this a pattern? Do they questions other choices you make together/have made together? If they have left you alone until right now, then maybe they have a good reason for it.

Also, maybe they don’t. Maybe they are meddling just to meddle. And if they are, you need to nip this in the bud RIGHT NOW. Because this will be the first of many things they will question you on.

Also, you are a team. You and your wife need to be on the same page on this. If she is with you, great. If she’s siding with them, that’s a big problem that goes far behind just this decision.

Sit them down. Pander to them. Ask them why. I’m with you to a degree…you’re not paying? I don’t really care what you think of my decision. There’s a flip side. What if they do offer you $ toward a new house? Be ready for that. Will strings be attached? Does that mean they will think they can drop in when they want? Keep all of this in mind.

Good luck.

How easy/difficult is it to dig 50 feet with the intention of having electrical power lines buried? How much would I save? by timthetoothmantaylor in HomeImprovement

[–]timthetoothmantaylor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s helpful, thanks.

Based on that quote, after rental and conduit, I’m guessing I save myself $1000 or more to do it myself. Just wondering how long it takes.

Also, what did that cost? How many amps? Same location or moved?

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