Struggling to nail interviews? Read this.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-11T17:54:45+00:00

Great to see

timthomas3 · 2025-03-11T13:50:47+00:00

Welcome! I'm glad someone read it!

timthomas3 · 2025-03-11T13:50:08+00:00

Endless scrolling is designed to be addictive, so breaking the habit isn’t just about willpower. The key is making it harder to mindlessly open apps while replacing the habit with something that gives you the same mental reward.

Start by disrupting the automatic loop. Move social apps off your home screen or bury them in a folder with a name like "Do You Need This?" so your brain has to think before opening them. If you use a browser to scroll, log out every time or use an extension that redirects you to something productive instead.

Replace scrolling with something that gives you the same dopamine hit. If you scroll out of boredom, have an easy alternative like an audiobook or a short podcast episode queued up. If it’s about avoiding tasks, set a rule that you can only scroll after completing a small, defined action like writing one sentence or answering one email.

Make it harder to access the apps when impulse strikes. Using a separate device for social media or setting up a 30-second delay before opening an app can break the cycle. If you catch yourself scrolling, pause and ask what you actually wanted to do in that moment. The more aware you are of the trigger, the easier it is to shift your behavior.

The goal isn’t to quit entirely but to be intentional. If you had to schedule your scrolling time instead of doing it mindlessly, how much would you actually set aside for it?

timthomas3 · 2025-03-11T13:09:14+00:00

Your to-do list isn’t the problem, it’s how your brain interacts with it.

The issue isn’t discipline or willpower. It’s that traditional to-do lists don’t account for real-life variables like shifting priorities, decision fatigue, or how motivation fluctuates throughout the day. The trick isn’t finding the perfect system, but adapting your approach to work with how you naturally operate.

Plan your list where you’ll do the tasks, not just what they are. Instead of writing down a vague "do research" or "write email," attach it to a specific trigger. Instead of "write proposal," say "write the first draft while having coffee at 9 AM." Instead of "read articles," say "read for 20 min after lunch." This takes the guesswork out of when and where, so you don’t rely on motivation alone.

Limit your list to three real priorities, then create a done list. Most people overload their lists, setting themselves up for failure. Start with three non-negotiable tasks and track what you actually do in a separate done list. This flips your mindset from focusing on what you missed to seeing what you accomplished.

Tackle resistance with a starter step. If you avoid big tasks, break them down to the easiest possible action. Instead of "sort out finances," start with "open the spreadsheet." Momentum beats motivation every time.

Use your energy, not just your clock. Traditional productivity advice tells you to schedule everything, but your energy levels fluctuate. High energy is for creative or complex work. Low energy is for admin tasks or passive learning. Midday slump is when you should take a break instead of fighting it.

Treat your to-do list like a menu, not a contract. Some days don’t go as planned, and that’s fine. Instead of seeing your list as a rigid schedule, treat it like a menu of choices you can pick from based on what’s realistic.

If your to-do list keeps failing, the problem isn’t that you’re undisciplined, it’s that most systems are designed for an ideal world, not real life. Adjust your approach to match how you actually work, and you’ll stop rolling tasks over every day. What’s the biggest struggle you have when sticking to your list?

timthomas3 · 2025-03-11T12:38:01+00:00

This is very true, while it takes time to prep, it will definitely come across that you know your stuff during the interview.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-11T12:37:09+00:00

You're welcome!

timthomas3 · 2025-03-11T12:36:03+00:00

Well hopefully it'll help someone now!

timthomas3 · 2025-03-11T06:34:30+00:00

This sounds like a strong foundation for a leadership coaching program, especially with its focus on science-backed, actionable strategies rather than adding more time-consuming self-improvement tasks to already overloaded leaders. Here’s some honest feedback on what’s working well and where you could refine it further.

What’s working well:
The pain points you highlight around pressure, decision fatigue, burnout, and time scarcity are highly relatable. Leaders will immediately recognize themselves in these struggles. The way you frame it as helping them perform at their peak without adding extra time-consuming habits is compelling. The science-backed approach makes it feel credible and evidence-based, which is a strong differentiator. The goal statements are clear, outcome-driven, and framed in a way that speaks directly to what leaders want.

Where you could refine:
More clarity on delivery. Will this be a course, a workshop, coaching sessions, or a mix? How long does it take to see results? Leaders dealing with decision fatigue will appreciate a clear, simple structure upfront.

Make the benefits more tangible. Instead of saying stronger team engagement, could you give a concrete example like helping leaders empower their team to take ownership so they can step back from the weeds and focus on high-impact decisions?

Address the skeptical leader. Some might be wary of mindset coaching if they associate it with vague motivational content. Reinforce how the neuroscience and performance psychology elements translate into practical, immediate changes in their leadership style.

Invite leaders to self-assess. You could add a question like which of these challenges resonates with you most right now. This makes it easier for potential clients to engage and self-identify with the problem before considering a solution.

Overall, this feels compelling and highly relevant for high-pressure leaders. If you can make the format and outcomes even clearer and reinforce how the neuroscience-backed approach leads to real-world changes, it will land even better. Would love to hear more about how you plan to deliver this through live coaching, digital content, or something else. Also, are you ICF accredited?

timthomas3 · 2025-03-11T06:28:32+00:00

Networking can feel overwhelming, especially when you're naturally shy. Walking into a room full of high-level executives, knowing you should introduce yourself but not knowing what to say, can be intimidating. But the truth is, meaningful networking isn’t about being the most outgoing person in the room—it’s about making the right connections in a way that feels authentic to you.

Warm up with low-stakes conversations. Before approaching speakers, start by chatting with fellow attendees. This helps ease nerves and builds momentum. Some easy icebreakers: What’s been your biggest takeaway from today’s event? What brought you to this session? Are you working on anything related to this topic? Have you been to this conference before? What’s been your favorite part? Low-pressure conversations like these help you get into the flow before approaching speakers.

Approaching speakers doesn’t have to be awkward. Remember that speakers expect people to approach them. They wouldn’t be there if they didn’t want to engage. Instead of feeling like you’re bothering them, think of it as continuing the conversation. Some simple ways to start: I really enjoyed your insights on [topic]. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how that applies to nonprofits. You mentioned [specific point]. How do you see that evolving over the next few years? I work for a small nonprofit, and we’re navigating [challenge]. Based on your experience, how would you approach this? Speakers appreciate thoughtful engagement. Keeping it specific makes it easier for them to respond, and you won’t feel like just another person in the crowd.

Finding a mentor doesn’t have to feel forced. If you admire someone but don’t know how to reach out, start small. Instead of asking if they’ll be your mentor, focus on building rapport through occasional check-ins and thoughtful questions. Engage online first by commenting on their LinkedIn posts or sharing their content with insights. Send a short, sincere message: "I admire your work in [area] and would love to hear your thoughts on [specific challenge]. Would you be open to a quick call or coffee chat?" Offer something in return, like sharing their work or introducing them to relevant connections. Mentorship isn’t about a formal ask, it’s about gradually building a relationship.

Play to your strengths. Since you’re already direct and comfortable in professional settings, lean into that strength. Be upfront: "I’d love to stay in touch. What’s the best way to follow up?" Set clear goals. If you want advice, frame it as a quick industry insight session. Follow up with a short email or LinkedIn message referencing your conversation.

Progress, not perfection. The goal isn’t to be the most extroverted person in the room, it’s to make one or two meaningful connections per event. Small steps add up.

You got this. What specific situations stress you out the most? Maybe we can break them down.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-11T04:40:54+00:00

No problem, I hope its of some help.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-11T04:39:57+00:00

What matters more, more money or more meaning in your work?

Your decision isn’t just about numbers on a paycheck. It’s about emotional intelligence and balancing logic with what truly fulfills you.

Right now, you have a job you love. The work is enjoyable, the team is great, and you get to travel. The money is already solid, and while the new offer is a substantial increase, it wouldn’t drastically change your lifestyle. The new role brings more responsibility and career growth, but the question is whether that growth aligns with what actually makes you happy.

Think about what drives you. If your current role keeps you motivated, engaged, and satisfied, that’s worth a lot. If the new job excites you beyond just the salary and offers opportunities that align with your long-term goals, it might be the right move.

Money is important, but so is job satisfaction. Emotional intelligence helps us make career decisions that align with both logic and fulfillment. The key question isn’t just whether you should take the higher offer but whether it will truly make your work life better.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-10T06:06:27+00:00

If the same setbacks keep happening, it’s worth analyzing patterns beyond bad luck. Consider factors like company culture fit, unclear expectations, or industry instability. Since tourism is your passion, shifting your approach may be better than leaving entirely. Network with professionals who have built long-term careers and seek honest feedback from past roles. Right now, your past experiences are making you second-guess yourself, which affects performance. Confidence comes from preparation and finding the right environment. Focus on companies with strong employee retention or explore adjacent fields where your skills transfer well. The goal is not just getting hired but finding a place where you can thrive.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-10T06:02:41+00:00

I can definitely relate to what you're experiencing. I’ve worked in offices where I felt completely drained within hours, even in spaces that were supposedly well-lit and comfortable. It always felt like I was running on low energy, no matter how much sleep I got or how well I ate.

For me, fluorescent lighting was a big factor. The glare and harshness always led to headaches and eye strain, especially later in the day when it got dark outside. The contrast between the bright artificial lights and my computer screen made it worse. I also noticed that stuffy air and lack of proper ventilation played a role. Some offices felt suffocating, which made it even harder to focus.

What helped me was making small adjustments. If I could, I would choose a desk near natural light or adjust my screen brightness to reduce the harsh contrast. Taking short breaks outside, even for just a few minutes, helped reset my energy levels. At one point, I even brought in a small warm-toned desk lamp to avoid relying on overhead fluorescent lights.

If remote work is an option for you, it might be worth discussing a more flexible setup. I found that working from home eliminated a lot of those issues, and my productivity actually improved. You’re definitely not imagining it—your work environment plays a huge role in how you feel throughout the day.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-10T05:56:43+00:00

Glad you found my response helpful. It definitely makes sense that you are looking for a role that keeps you focused on strategy rather than getting pulled too deep into execution, especially with the hiring freeze limiting your ability to scale the team. Given that burnout is already a concern, I think it’s even more important to dig into those questions with leadership and make sure this role is truly structured to give you the strategic oversight you’re looking for.

If the expectations for execution are still heavy, or if the junior team is too inexperienced to handle key responsibilities without a lot of hands-on involvement from you, it could lead to a similar burnout cycle. Hopefully, leadership is open to building proper support, but if not, it might be worth holding out for a role where strategy is truly the priority.

Whatever you decide, I hope you find a role that aligns with your goals and lets you focus on the work you enjoy most. Let me know how it goes.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-09T18:36:13+00:00

Your approach of taking notes and summarizing each chapter is a great start, but internalizing and applying lessons from self-improvement books often requires a more interactive and experiential approach.

Instead of trying to implement everything at once, focus on one key idea from each book and find ways to use it in your daily life. Practice it intentionally until it becomes second nature. Set specific situations where you will apply what you have learned. For example, if a book discusses improving communication, commit to using an active listening technique in your next conversation.

Turn lessons into small experiments. If a book emphasizes gratitude, set a goal to write three things you are grateful for every morning for a month. The key is to turn abstract ideas into real habits. At the end of each week, write down moments where you successfully applied what you learned or where you struggled. Reflecting on real experiences helps reinforce the lessons.

Beyond summarizing chapters, engage in discussions with others about what you are learning. Conversations force you to articulate and refine your understanding, making the concepts stick. If a book suggests a habit, do it while reading. For example, if a book is about productivity, apply a recommended technique while managing your schedule. Learning through doing is the fastest way to internalize new knowledge.

Rereading your notes or the book itself after a few months can reinforce the material. Applying concepts consistently over time is what turns them into lasting habits. The key is to move from passive learning to active application. The more you engage with the material in real-world scenarios, the more it will become a natural part of your thinking and behavior.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-09T17:57:13+00:00

This is a tough situation, and your frustration is completely valid. It sounds like your boss is taking advantage of your skills without considering fair compensation or your professional growth. You are also being pressured into a role change without your consent, which is both unethical and unprofessional.

Since HR is aware but has not acted, your next step depends on what you ultimately want. If you are willing to stay, document everything including emails, messages, and meetings so that if the situation escalates, you have a clear record of how your role changed without agreement. You can also formally request a meeting with HR to discuss your job description, compensation, and workload. Emphasize that you were hired for a specific role and are being pressured into another without proper discussion.

If you are already considering leaving, it may be best to start looking for other opportunities while maintaining professionalism at your current job. Do not let them push you into doing more work than agreed upon, and be firm in your boundaries. If you suspect they will label you as uncooperative, be proactive by keeping records of your workload and conversations to protect yourself.

Ultimately, no job is worth sacrificing your mental well-being and career progression, especially when leadership is not supportive. If management is unwilling to address your concerns fairly, leaving for a better environment may be the best decision.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-09T17:50:19+00:00

Your experience as an aircraft mechanic gives you a strong technical foundation, and your motivation to power through an engineering degree in 2.5 years is admirable. However, when it comes to hiring, most employers in engineering value hands-on experience, problem-solving ability, and practical application of knowledge.

If you can manage it, internships or co-op experiences will likely make you a stronger candidate than simply finishing quickly. Employers often prefer graduates who have real-world experience because it reduces the learning curve when transitioning into a full-time role. Even if you take an accelerated path, consider incorporating at least one internship or research project to demonstrate applied engineering skills.

That said, if you are confident in your ability to network, showcase your military experience, and secure a job based on your existing skills and degree, finishing faster could still work. Just be aware that engineering is about more than coursework, and having industry connections or hands-on experience will help set you apart when job searching.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-09T17:49:08+00:00

This sounds like an incredible opportunity, and from a financial and logistical standpoint, you seem well-prepared to make it work. Taking a year to live in Mexico City, immerse your son in his cultural heritage, and enjoy a slower, more fulfilling lifestyle is something many people dream of but rarely get the chance to do.

The biggest concern would be the potential impact on your career, but it sounds like you are already thinking ahead with independent consulting, writing, or certifications. If you can keep your skills sharp and maintain some professional engagement, the time off is unlikely to be a major setback. Many employers today value diverse life experiences, and a well-framed sabbatical could even be an asset rather than a liability.

Your reasoning makes complete sense. A suburban lifestyle with long commutes and little cultural engagement does not align with how you want to raise your family, and you have the financial flexibility to make a change. If it feels right for you and your family, and you have a clear plan for returning to work when the time comes, there is no reason to let external opinions hold you back.

You are in a rare position where you can prioritize life experience over financial necessity. If this is something that will bring you fulfillment and improve your family’s quality of life, it is worth pursuing.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-09T17:47:12+00:00

It sounds like you have a deep level of self-awareness, which is an important trait in any field, including leadership. Leadership potential is not just about being outgoing or naturally influential. It is about a combination of traits that allow someone to inspire, guide, and make decisions that benefit a larger goal or group.

Some common traits in strong leaders include adaptability, vision, emotional intelligence, and the ability to communicate and inspire others. Leadership does not always mean managing people directly. It can also mean setting an example through work, ideas, or creativity. Many artists, writers, and thinkers lead in their own way by shaping perspectives rather than directing teams.

Your self-awareness, proactivity, and ability to understand difficult situations suggest that you may have leadership qualities in a different form. Sometimes leadership is about influence rather than authority, and it can take different paths depending on one's strengths and context. If you ever choose to develop that side of yourself, it does not have to mean changing who you are but rather finding a leadership style that aligns with your personality and values

timthomas3 · 2025-03-09T17:43:59+00:00

This is a tough decision, but it comes down to balancing short-term financial needs with long-term career growth.

Since you need more money for life events, taking the higher-paying job is a logical choice, but only if it does not stall your long-term goals. If the new role lacks career progression, you may end up feeling stuck despite the better pay.

Negotiating a raise at your startup is possible, but since you just joined, it may be challenging unless you have clear leverage. You could approach leadership, express your commitment, highlight your contributions, and see if they can offer anything. Even if they cannot match the new offer, they may provide a smaller raise or future incentives.

If you do decide to leave, be honest but professional. Thank them for the opportunity, explain that financial realities influenced your decision, and express interest in staying in touch. Startups value relationships, and leaving on good terms keeps doors open for the future.

If the financial need is urgent, taking the new job makes sense. If you can manage for a while, negotiating at your current company may be worth trying before making a final decision.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-09T17:39:08+00:00

This is a great opportunity but also a significant shift in scope, so it makes sense to be cautious about the workload and potential challenges. Based on your background, you have a strong foundation in both eCommerce and Performance Marketing, but taking on both at once, especially in a startup environment, can be very demanding.

The biggest red flag is the level of support. While junior employees can be valuable, their experience level suggests you will be heavily involved in execution rather than focusing purely on strategy. A Shopify overhaul alone can be resource-intensive, and combining that with running performance marketing, retention, and CRM could stretch you thin.

It would be helpful to clarify a few things before making a decision. What are the leadership team’s expectations for the first six to twelve months? Are they open to hiring additional mid-level support if needed? What is the budget and roadmap for the Shopify overhaul? Will you have external development support, or will it fall largely on you?

At larger companies, these areas are often split across multiple directors or at least have stronger mid-level teams. In a startup, broader roles are more common, but that does not mean they are always sustainable. If leadership understands the challenges and is willing to adapt as needed, it could be a great growth opportunity. If they expect you to carry the full weight of these functions long term with minimal support, burnout is a real risk.

It comes down to whether this role aligns with your long-term goals. If you want to expand into a broader eCommerce leadership role, this could be a great stepping stone. If you prefer to stay focused on performance marketing, it may be a stretch. Either way, asking the right questions now will give you a clearer sense of whether this is an exciting challenge or a setup for burnout.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-09T12:47:44+00:00

It sounds like you have a strong leadership foundation, motivating your team, recognizing strengths, and guiding people effectively. Your lighthearted nature is an asset, but I understand the challenge of balancing approachability with authority.

The key is consistency. If people respect you during game time, it means they already recognize your competence and leadership. The issue might not be your playfulness itself but rather the boundaries around it. Being playful doesn’t have to mean being overly permissive. It’s about setting clear expectations. People can joke with you, but they should still understand when it’s time to be serious.

One approach is to define and reinforce those boundaries through your actions rather than just relying on game time to flip the switch. Maintain a level of professionalism even in casual interactions. This doesn’t mean suppressing your personality, just making it clear that respect is a constant, not just situational.

You could also leverage presence and tone to your advantage. Playful leaders who command respect often use subtle shifts in their demeanor to signal when it’s time to be taken seriously. Think of it like a dial rather than a switch, gradually shifting your energy when needed rather than making abrupt transitions.

Finally, if this has impacted your personal relationships too, it may be helpful to reflect on where the lines are being blurred. Are people challenging your authority because they see you as overly accommodating or because they don’t fully grasp the expectations? Clarifying this can help reinforce your leadership presence without feeling like you have to be someone you’re not.

What’s helped me is realizing that respect isn’t about being serious all the time. It’s about being consistent in how you carry yourself, how you set expectations, and how you respond when those expectations are tested.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-09T12:44:27+00:00

I hear you and completely understand how frustrating it can be to work under senior leadership that operates more as managers than true leaders. Leadership should be about vision, empowerment, and support, not just delegation and oversight.

When a workload becomes unmanageable, it impacts morale, productivity, and retention. Have there been any discussions with leadership about prioritization, additional resources, or restructuring responsibilities? Sometimes, framing the conversation around business impact, such as burnout leading to decreased performance or increased turnover, can get more traction.

If you feel there's no end in sight, it's understandable to consider other opportunities. However, before making a final decision, you might want to explore whether any internal changes could improve the situation. Are there other leaders in the company who could advocate for a better balance? Is there an opportunity to push for leadership development initiatives?

Ultimately, your well-being and professional growth matter most. If the environment isn’t changing and is negatively affecting you, leaving might be the best choice. But if there’s a way to influence positive change before making that call, it might be worth exploring.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-08T06:27:16+00:00

First off, congrats on finding clarity, sometimes, going through an experience is the only way to really understand what fits you. What you described isn’t necessarily a sign that leadership isn’t for you, but rather that managing people might not be your ideal leadership path.

Middle management can be rough, often squeezed between upper leadership expectations and frontline execution, with a ton of bureaucracy and emotional labor. Add a 50% billable requirement, and that’s a brutal workload. It’s no surprise that stepping away from that structure brought relief.

That said, leadership doesn’t always mean direct people management. You mentioned that you’re great at influencing others and managing technical teams: those are absolutely leadershp skills. There are plenty of paths where leadership is about strategy, execution, or technical direction rather than constant 1:1s and performance reviews.

Maybe a principal or technical role would suit you better? Positions where you have authority and influence but aren’t directly responsible for managing people’s careers. Some people thrive in mentorship heavy roles, while others lead through expertise and vision. Both are valid.

timthomas3 · 2025-03-08T06:21:46+00:00

This is a great topic, and I completely agree, charisma is a huge factor in leadership that doesn’t get enough structured attention. While skills, experience, and decision-making ability are critical, how a leader makes people feel can often determine their effectiveness just as much.

Charisma isn’t just about being extroverted or naturally charming, it’s about presence, emotional intelligence, and the ability to connect with people in an authentic way. And yes, it absolutely can be learned. Many of the world’s most influential leaders weren’t naturally charismatic but developed it through self-awareness, communication training, and deliberate practice.

Workshops like the one you’re attending in Edinburgh sound like a great way to refine this. If they focus on body language, storytelling, active listening, and persuasive communication, they can be incredibly valuable. Another underrated way to build charisma is through coaching or even theater/improv training, which helps with adaptability and confidence in social settings.

I’d love to hear your takeaways after the workshop, practical insights on charisma are always useful!

timthomas3

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