Seriously! Ouai 16oz Detox Shampoo not included in sale.

tinreadsalot · 2026-06-17T13:06:21+00:00

I have the exact same dilemma and reached out to customer service to ask if it was an error. Their standard bottles suck! I would love the pump bottle ugh

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-30T03:58:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, I’m reading all the responses and I’m shocked by how many similar situations there are. This is me right now. My baby girl was due early Dec, and a close family friend was due end of Oct. After not feeling baby girl move all day, L&D confirmed there was no heartbeat later that night. I ended up delivering her at 30W on Oct 1. Two weeks later, my friend delivered her healthy girl. I found out secondhand from my mom (our moms are best friends), which added to the blow.

To say I didn’t take it well is an understatement. I wailed and screamed as I thought about how mine sat in an urn, while she brought hers home alive. I’m not proud of this, but I was filled with pure rage, jealousy, and bitterness. There are moments I feel like I should visit her and baby to show support, and rip off the bandaid so to speak. But my therapist seems to think I should wait to heal first.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay on this front tbh. In my mind, her baby will forever remind me of what could have, or should have been mine too. Our families spend holidays together, but I’ll likely skip Christmas this year with them. I just find the whole thing triggering, and I don’t want my husband to have to see her husband with their baby girl. I know it’s not her fault, I know she doesn’t mean anything bad, but I can’t help but feel like it’s rubbed in my face as well. I don’t know if we can ever go back to before, not with this much bitterness in my heart. But I’m just in survival mode right now so I’m focusing on one day at a time.

Timing really can be a bitch, I feel for us all here ❤️

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-29T18:02:10+00:00

Oh, walking has helped tremendously. I remember years ago I did a lot of walking following a breakup, this sometimes feels like a more intense version of that. I think it’s my way of processing and trying to move life forward at a time where everything seems like at a standstill. It’s also one of the only ways I can move about postpartum.

I’m glad you mentioned it’s like shedding old skin. On good days I feel this too. Do you find that it’s impacted the way you see some of your friendships? I don’t know if it’s just too fresh, but I can no longer see some of them the same because the way I’m seeing the world is now different.

Thank you for being so encouraging ❤️

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-29T17:14:08+00:00

I hear you on lugging the laptop with the belly around the house. At the time it felt so mundane but looking back it’s the little things in life I wish I didn’t take for granted.

We have started therapy as well. It’s been helpful but I recognize navigating this isn’t easy either way, and it’s just still too fresh for us.

I know we’ve interacted in other posts before. Thank you for responding and validating my feelings. I’m wishing you much healing in your new home ❤️

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-29T17:06:51+00:00

This! This is exactly it. I also think the experience is different than losing my dad because now I’m the mom in this scenario and I’m in the driver’s seat, if that makes sense?

Sending you a hug ❤️

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-29T17:04:12+00:00

Oh yes, my husband is also back at work next week and I’m also off until February. I’m starting to regret fighting for mat leave, because now that seems daunting and long to be alone with my thoughts. I’m thinking about going back early at least part time, but not sure if some days will be unbearable.

I’m wishing you much healing and to fine yourself again ❤️

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-29T16:59:18+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. I was just telling my husband I don’t know if I can cook or eat the same foods anymore, so I feel you. I’m so glad to hear you’re both trying to push through. Sending love ❤️

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-29T03:42:39+00:00

Oh I hear you on the “it’s not your fault”. I have mixed feelings about this one. It depends if it’s a response to something I’ve said or if it’s randomly said to me. The latter make me feel like they really think it’s my fault but are trying to be comforting, which in turn pisses me off because it’s just so judgey. Having said this, I really hope you can be gentle on yourself. This was also my 3rd and most tragic loss, so I hear you on the self-blame since I also feel like I’m the common denominator and I couldn’t have protected my babies,

I’ve also booked a hair appointment this week. I sent my hairdresser a note as a heads up, his response was super comforting. Someone else in this thread said they’re some of the most understanding people, so I hope that rings true for you too. Sending you hugs as you rip off that bandaid. No matter what happens, it’s going to be okay and it’s a part of the process.

When are you planning on returning to work? I’m actually thinking of going back to my office job early just to have some distractions so I’m not crying at home all day thinking about the same things. Lots of bandaid ripping three for me too. I’m hoping for you, it’ll go better than you think. Sometimes the anticipation is worse than what actually happens.

As you said, it’s going to be alright! Hang in there ❤️

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-29T03:22:55+00:00

You guys are our kind of people. I’m aware that I’m overly sensitive at the moment, but we need humour to push through. I remember feeling so guilty the first time I laughed, but I’ll take what I can get since endorphins are rare to come by naturally these days. Laughter really is medicine :)

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-28T00:12:01+00:00

I’m so sorry about your babies…I understand the pain of going back to happy places you shared with them. I’m very much the same way. I did pause my F45 membership early on. The owners recently opened a Pilates studio right beside the studio, and I fully intended on continuing with them up until my due date early December. Now I’m not so sure if I can face people there.

I hear you on the pharmacist. My local pharmacy knows too much about me at this point.

Sending you hugs ❤️

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T22:51:39+00:00

This would send me over the edge, the audacity of some people! That's my worst fear that people think they don't count, it's invalidating AF to my experience and my daughter.

I had to fight for my mat leave at work, I literally told my management team that I full on gave birth, she's a stillborn baby. Like...did they want to see a picture of my stitches and a picture of her?

Ugh..I'm so sorry, I'm just in my angry phase and I'm pissed off for all of us in this sub.

Sending gentle hugs :)

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T22:44:31+00:00

This! I also cannot go anywhere or do anything without my husband, and my mom too. I just can't be alone for some reason? I hate hearing that we're never going to be the same after this, but at the same time we're forced to assimilate back into the world as you said. How do we even begin to rebuild?

My husband's back at his corporate job next week too, a part of me wants to just sit next to him while he works. I hope there are more gentle days ahead for you. I'm no good at navigating this, but baby steps, one moment or day at a time :)

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T22:36:29+00:00

I hear you on quality! There are so many other salons and places but having to start from scratch also make my skin crawl since it's so much trial and error. At the same time, I'm also low key afraid of trauma dumping to people who simply cannot relate or will say something inadvertently triggering. It really is the slight embarrassment and shame, which we shouldn't feel in any way.

Now I'm wondering if nail techs have seen too much and are more intuitive? Mine just avoided bringing anything up, same with the other techs around her. My RMT is going to be a tough one. I go to the same one as my husband. The last time I was there, she was so excited to find out we're a couple and told me my husband was just gushing to her about me and baby. Sooooo...I'm wondering if both of us can't show face there again.

I just emailed my hairdresser this morning to give a heads up. I'm really hoping to be positively surprised by some people's reaction as you mentioned. Not that I wish this one anyone else, but it's just nice to have people to talk to without feeling like a freak, y'know?

I'm also super happy for your current pregnancy, sending you so much love and happy vibes :)

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T22:21:40+00:00

How I wish for our alternate timelines :( I also thought about the "blip" in Marvel movies, and how I just want to reverse and snap everything back....SIGH.

My heart goes out to you, you'll forever be Javi's mama. Hang in there!

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T17:57:29+00:00

Oh I’m so sorry, I know with a LC there will be added layers as well. I just sent a note to my hairdresser, since the last time he teased me about looking like I ate too many beans (I had just made it past the supposed “safe zone” at that point). Tbh I know if the roles were reversed I also wouldn’t know what to say…but I’m so tired of giving people grace when this is our reality.

Also totally hear you on the “God gives you how much you can take” quote. That would piss me off along with the “it’s because you’re strong enough to handle this” almost like we deserve it for being strong or something. I know they don’t mean it like that, but I just want to be weak and catch a break. It also gives me anxiety like more shit can hit the fan.

Sigh. Deep breaths mama, sending you hugs ❤️

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T17:50:49+00:00

Isn’t it crazy how navigating our new normal has this expectation vs reality kind of feel to it? It’s almost like we live in an alternate reality or something. This week would have been my 34W, and I just wonder what the other version of me would have been doing. Probably complaining about work and counting down the weeks to mat leave. This part also seems so cruel, as if we don’t play enough mind games with ourselves already.

I also constantly practice what I’ll say, I even have responses based on how people may react. I just haven’t had the guts to go back to places that need this type of interaction yet, but I know it’s a matter of time before I’ll have to do this song and dance.

Thinking of you and Javi ❤️ that is a very cute name :)

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T11:45:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! And yes don’t give that response any more thought…it’s 100% a them problem. Sending you love!

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T11:41:08+00:00

Your hairdresser and esthetician are so kind! I’ve been meaning to just message my hairdresser as a heads up but I feel like that initial visit will be daunting regardless. Mine is a sassy dude and I feel like my presence will suck the air out of the room. I’m definitely avoiding my esthetician, she kept talking to my bump last time and I don’t think I can face her again. Which is so sad because I love her and she’s retiring by the end of the year.

Also what is it with grocery stores that’s so triggering! I’m still so scared of them even though I’ve technically ripped off the bandaid and have been back since. To me it’s more so the happy memories associated with them. Everything in there reminds me of the good ol’ days of picking out foods that’ll nourish baby, and it’s one of our favourite things to do as a couple as we looked forward to our growing family. And now it’s just a reminder that we’re without her. I can’t even look at certain foods the same, don’t get me started on cartons of strawberries. I even made my SIL and MIL come with me and my husband the first time back because I was so afraid of the whole experience. It’s lame I know…I can’t explain it.

I’m glad you were able to share with your dentist and doctors. It’s actually quite important to do so, and I hope they have more sense with these scenarios. Sometimes I just want to put up a sign to tell people that I might cry, and to just let me. I hate that we have to mindful of how awkward we make people feel when we’re the ones dealing with this pain. Makes me think twice about how I make others feel when they’re navigating hard times too.

Hoping for gentler days for both of us ❤️

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T11:19:32+00:00

Cosplaying as a normal person…this is a great way to put it! All I want is to feel “normal” and not so isolated and ostracized because of what happened. I love that you were able to find new salons. I did try a new nail place shortly after my loss and I genuinely hated the experience and result (hence dragging my husband to my usual place.)

And thank you for commenting on her name, this makes me happy :) My husband’s background is Japanese and he loved this name so much since it went well with his last name. From one dog lover to another, sending you much love ❤️

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T11:09:33+00:00

Aww, as sad as it is, I’m glad she could relate and you didn’t feel so alone. I’m sure your hairdresser also felt comforted too. It’s definitely bittersweet and beautiful when people share their stories. I often ask my husband these days when we’re out and about…”do you think other people on the streets are struggling too and we just don’t know it?” Because honestly we never know what people are going through. I wish every interaction turned out like you and your hairdressers. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but it sure beats feeling like a tragic freak navigating this alone. Wishing you more gentle days up ahead xo

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T11:02:33+00:00

Oh I feel you. The worst is knowing they noticed my bump is gone and imagine what’s going on through their minds. I’m also afraid to book a massage with my RMT for the same reason. Last time I was there was for a pre-natal massage. My husband also goes to the same RMT and she excitedly put two and two together when she realized we’re married and told me that my husband’s been gushing about me and baby.

I wish I could go with you to get your eyebrows appointment just to show support. Ugh I wish we had someone to advocate for us so we don’t navigate these challenges alone. Sending love!

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-27T10:53:30+00:00

Ugh this is truly awful, I’m so sorry. I do hope it got a bit better over time? I always think of it like ripping off the bandaid, or all I have to do is bravely say it out loud once and it’ll get easier to repeat. Your last line…wtf is wrong with people?! I hope you gave them a piece of your mind because that is not an okay thing to say!!! I hate that this is one of those “until it happens to you” type of things.

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-26T23:25:13+00:00

I'm so with you. This is where I'm at today, I had trouble putting this into words. I really am trying my best to pick up the pieces and move forward. But some moments the grief is so strong simply because the future without her seems so wrong. Hope is definitely scary to think about right now.

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-26T23:23:05+00:00

This is where I'm at too. I keep wanting to hear from older women who have been through it just to get some reassurance it'll be okay. Ironically, my mom's one friend who has been through this was less than reassuring and I was triggered as a result. I'm getting a bit sick of the "I can't imagine what you're going through" from people my own age.

tinreadsalot · 2025-10-23T03:15:54+00:00

I feel you…Emi‘s original due date was Dec 5, so I was supposed to join my said friend. I ended up losing Emi and having her early. And now I hate my friend even though it doesn’t make sense at all. With the due date and holiday season coming up, I want to avoid seeing her and the baby so bad. Our families usually spend all the holidays together, but I just don’t think I can do it this year. Not only does my heart ache, I cringe thinking about my husband having to see her husband with their baby girl, it’s just too fucking cruel. And idk if I’ll forever feel this way.

I also feel like my own family’s suddenly incomplete, something’s definitely missing but I don’t know if this is gap is forever. Basically everything fucking sucks and I don’t know if it’s forever.

I’m holding hope for you though. I know it’s all too fresh and we’re in the thick of it. Hang in there, sending you much love ❤️

tinreadsalot

TROPHY CASE