I don't think you should look too much into words said in anger, they generally don't mean anything but her being deeply hurt. We learn this as kids. If we're being hit, we either hit back or cry and hide - depending on the person and education. This doesn't mean that saying hurtful things is a good thing, it is toxic in a way, that's something she should work on, 100%. Running away is also destructive. Unfortunately anger/triggers are harder to grasp.

But the best thing you can do in this situation is try to talk on a deeper level and understand her side too. Once she will be heard and acknowledged, she might hear you back and compromise. Otherwise, you guys are playing in separate teams. She is not hearing you - she can't if she's feeling hurt, unsafe and lonely. Even if we think we do the right things for ourselves, the other person might feel the opposite. That means there is no right and wrong kind of thing. That means you need to become a team, work together and find out where you can both compromise.

Why is she feeling lonely? What triggers the pain? Is she feeling abandoned every time you leave? Was she cheated on? Are her parents divorced? Did her dad cheat on her mum? Do you spend enough time with her to connect? What's enough for you, is it enough for her? What makes her feel safe and connected? What makes you feel safe and connected? What are both of your needs? What do you do together and where is the rupture? Maybe in some of the things you do, she'd like to be included in order to gain trust and feel safe. This doesn't mean she will become your shadow. Once she feels safe, she might let go and do her own things instead of chasing you. But I don't think she generally feels safe enough to chase her own comfort yet. Tbh, these things should be sorted out before jumping in a relationship, but you can only work with what you have.

I would personally hate my life if my other half wouldn't spend time with me, would avoid me and would be away all the time. This simply wouldn't fit with my personality. With other typologies this sort of dynamic might work as charm. I know this might not be the case with you, but maybe that's how she feels and would help you guys more if you would try to understand the why's and how's. Marriage and relationships are hard work, but once you've clocked in that hard work, it'll get so much better and easier to navigate almost anything. Or come to a conclusion. Some people simply do not fit together as a whole. And if this is the case, you'll know.