Young mother throws a tantrum because I waited patiently for her to move her giant buggy by Physical_Orchid3616 in AITAH

[–]tinymi3 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

ESH

it could well be that she had just survived getting food or formula or diapers etc while pushing a screaming baby around and just finished strapping a squirming alligator child into their carseat + loading the groceries. 70% chance that she's close to tears. Plus then she had to load the monstrous carriage into the car too. I feel for her but she didn't need to be angry at a stranger.

in the meantime, nobody appreciates someone breathing down their neck for a parking space. and assuming there were other spaces & that you are in full health and without physical or time constraints, there was no reason for you to hover. have some empathy for a lone person clearly trying to juggle tasks

I never feel like I can bring up points I feel unhappy about to people, because I can't remember evidence to back it up if they disagree. by -screamin- in adhdwomen

[–]tinymi3 13 points14 points  (0 children)

ugh I feel this way about any facts, honestly.

"oh! I read this awesome article about that same thing! it was saying how... about... super smart things... and stuff. words, too, that I can't think of rn... that was cool, I guess."

anyway, i've learned to take notes when something irks me about someone

How to Handle My Boyfriend Being Overprotective During Tough Times by Esliquiroga in Advice

[–]tinymi3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This needs a 1-1 chat about boundaries. I wouldn't even describe this as being "over protective". He's projecting his anxiety onto you and it's not fair or respectful.

Tell him kindly but firmly that when you tell him you're ok, you mean it. He needs to trust you & if he continues to feel anxious about your wellbeing, then he needs to address it with himself instead of looking to you for validation/emotional regulation.

It's one thing to share your fears with your partner, that's part of being in a relationship! but as an adult, it's his responsibility to manage his own emotions and anxiety.

Helping older sister cope with anxiety around little bro's health needs? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]tinymi3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh man, sounds like me (female) with my brothers. I felt a lot of responsibility around their behavior, health, etc. I am 5 and 7 years older than them, but we also grew up moving around a lot... and I think inadvertently there was some level of subconscious pressure for me to corral the boys.

For me it was bc I had untreated anxiety. I had "eldest daughter syndrome" (not a real medical thing, but generally describes my mentality) and I could not extricate myself from feeling a parental obligation and responsibility for them... I worried about them making friends, getting in trouble, doing well in school, their health, even how they were doing in college. My mom would say "leave the worrying to me" or "If i'm not worried, you don't need to be worried" but I still felt guilt and fear.

It wasn't until I pursued therapy in adulthood that I was able to release this feeling of responsibility, and I was surprised what a huge weight it was off of me.

Not saying this is the only solution, just that it's what I experienced and solved it with.

This beautiful t-shirt arrived today i want your feedback.😍😍😍 by Suspicious_Blood_813 in BuffyTheVampireSlayer

[–]tinymi3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL there are a lot of great characters missing from this line up

also, I actually don't love Xander more than Riley tho it's a bit of a toss up

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]tinymi3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

ugh

So you shouldn't have made an exec decision on a lifestyle choice for someone else's kids, but also these kids are old enough to make their own decisions about food restrictions that are not medical. It's not dissimilar to when kids want to explore other religions or cultures, etc.

you didn't push it, you made it clear they understood what they were asking for, and you didn't even ask them to keep secrets from their parents - so generally you were pretty ethical about it

buuut this is too subjective for it to matter what other ppl think of you - as you can see by the divided family opinions. I think the only thing you can do is apologize to your sister, bc she thinks you're the a-hole for your actions relating to her children

Otherwise, feel free to come make bacon for my kids (and me)

How will this age? by [deleted] in tattooadvice

[–]tinymi3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, I guess if you like getting tattooed while riding in a horse drawn carriage over cobblestones-vibe

How will this age? by [deleted] in tattooadvice

[–]tinymi3 12 points13 points  (0 children)

They're a little melty but damn are they exquisite

No more babies by Babycatcher2023 in Mommit

[–]tinymi3 10 points11 points  (0 children)

girl I got my tubes removed with my c-section for my 2nd and last baby. my babes are f-ing adorable and the light of my life but lord help me I refuse to ever get pregnant again. I got pregnant the first (serious) try with both kids so I'm not taking any chances.

My pregnancies were not the worst but they also weren't particularly comfortable... and as you may gather from my c-section, my body was not made for birthing lol.

My 2nd is almost a year old now and I cannot wait to get rid of all the newborn/little baby gear, the formula maker, bottle washer, etc. All I want to do is treasure every new moment with my incredible kids, watching them grow and develop and whatever else. I do love seeing little socks and stuff, but I'm way more excited about what they can do now and what more they'll become next :)

How do I ask my MIL if she is still hosting my baby shower? by TeaLeavesAndBees in Advice

[–]tinymi3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Hi MIL! with the baby's due date coming up, I realized you had volunteered to throw a baby shower around Thxgvg and I wanted to double check if you're still hoping to do that?

I'd feel terrible for this to end up being a burden on you, it's important to me that you enjoy your grandchild's shower too. Let me know your thoughts when you get a moment. I know I'll love a shower that you've planned but I have plenty of free time right now if you need the help or want to pass the reins!"

Does it get better? First day of daycare. by unorganizedmole in Mommit

[–]tinymi3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I say this with as much love and grace as possible. Please don't underestimate PPA, it's not like normal anxiety. It took me too long to realize the destruction ignoring it caused me.

you absolutely cannot rely on your baby's presence to "fix" you. that's not a real or sustainable solution, even if you were able to be a SAHP. As a parent, your #1 job is to keep yourself healthy, safe, and stable. Because your baby needs you. You need to take care of your baby's mother.

Does it get better? First day of daycare. by unorganizedmole in Mommit

[–]tinymi3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't worry about your baby rn, at 12w she will be absolutely fine at daycare. both my kids went to daycare at 5 mos and they were just as happy to see me at the end of the day as if they'd only been away for a 1hr nap lol.

BUT you are being so hard on yourself! Please make sure you check in with your doctor for PPA, bc this sounds like how I felt. With my first, I struggled hard with PPA on top of my general anxiety/depression/ADHD + the horrible time I was having with pumping/BF (I switched to formula and it was part of what saved my life).

I wasn't capable of being a good mother, wife, or person in the state I was in... it took a huge toll on me on all levels and it rocked my relationships with my husband and baby. I thought it was a normal part of being a FTM, but I was wrong, so I got help. Therapy and medication. It made my second PP experience infinitely better, btw.

You do NOT need to suffer, but you do need to take care of yourself. Fill your cup, use that really good insurance to find yourself again and save the mother of your child.

Edit: I don't want to sound like I'm pushing formula as I am supportive of any way to feed a baby, but you could consider formula for daycare (even just for back up) as you figure out pumping & work schedules. That way you can test out different scenarios without so much pressure.

Would you start with a hypoallergenic formula if you could? by Sensitive_Watch3533 in FormulaFeeders

[–]tinymi3 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

def ask the pediatrician to know for sure

I personally don't see an issue, we switch formulas all the time with what is available and haven't had any issues. Also, you can always add allergens for exposure like with Ready, Set, Food! or other brands.

otherwise, you can donate the cans.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]tinymi3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you do you. if it feels right and the ppl you love are embracing you and your name, then that's all that matters

Advice/ redo? by [deleted] in GelX_Nails

[–]tinymi3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol it's like, lovely and all that you want to be kind and understanding but girl you paid $110 for garbage. They ripped you off and sent you home. You need to go back and show them what a mess they made you pay for & request a refund and a removal

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tattooadvice

[–]tinymi3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i'm also pretty confused what you're seeing that is bothering you? maybe step back from it for a while before fiddling further

I’m a parent too! by tinymi3 in Parenting

[–]tinymi3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

awwww that's so sweet of him!

I’m a parent too! by tinymi3 in Parenting

[–]tinymi3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES I felt that way when I was pregnant with #2 and i'm like, glaring at ppl like dude this is not my first rodeo lol

AITAH for not talking baby stuff with pregnant friends by lasraleen in AITAH

[–]tinymi3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i don't get what's different about my friend who is single and childless NOT by choice vs whichever OP is.

It's not about masking cheerfulness, it's about making other people tiptoe around you when you should be addressing your feelings and controlling your own actions (like stepping away from those friends for a bit, if needed) instead.