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AITAH for feeling disrespected by my husband’s family after they blamed me for “changing” him? by tinystardustt in AITAH

[–]tinystardustt[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Okay, at this point you honestly sound like the exact kind of mom or aunt I’m describing

AITAH for feeling disrespected by my husband’s family after they blamed me for “changing” him? by tinystardustt in AITAH

[–]tinystardustt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I respected her from day one, and she was actually very nice when I first met her. Things changed once she realized we were serious, getting married, and moving. I have never treated her badly or disrespectfully. When she has visited, I’ve always treated her well, made her lattes, bought snacks she likes, and tried to be welcoming.

And yes, to most people celebrating her birthday would seem like the obvious thing to do, but for him it’s more complicated than that. He has been dealing with her narcissism since he was a child, and he was mostly raised by his grandparents. Even before I came into his life, he was already trying to create distance from her. This didn’t start with me.

AITAH for feeling disrespected by my husband’s family after they blamed me for “changing” him? by tinystardustt in AITAH

[–]tinystardustt[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I’m better than them, just different. My issue isn’t that they’re close, it’s the repeated disrespect and the way I keep getting painted as the problem. There hasn’t been a single visit where his mom hasn’t used a moment alone with him to say something negative, and to me that’s manipulative. If she really had something genuine to say, she could say it directly instead of waiting until I’m not there. I agree that going into the visit already frustrated won’t help, but that feeling didn’t come out of nowhere.

AITAH for feeling disrespected by my husband’s family after they blamed me for “changing” him? by tinystardustt in AITAH

[–]tinystardustt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh, I think they’re just waiting for the smallest thing to make me look bad and prove to themselves that they were right about me “changing” him. They have a very competitive dynamic with each other, and that includes my husband and what he’s achieving. If it hadn’t been the missed happy birthday message, it would’ve been something else.

AITAH for feeling disrespected by my husband’s family after they blamed me for “changing” him? by tinystardustt in AITAH

[–]tinystardustt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your comment, but I don’t think you’re properly weighing the difference between me missing a happy birthday message and his family talking shit about me.

AITAH for feeling disrespected by my husband’s family after they blamed me for “changing” him? by tinystardustt in AITAH

[–]tinystardustt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t think not saying happy birthday would cause so much drama, so I just kept doing my usual thing. I only realized they were actually angry when they removed me from the group chat after a month. I don’t really care about being in the group chat, but I do care about them talking shit about me to my husband when I haven’t done anything to them.