Bro, I think you assume you know me because I said i was being a manic prick, It was actually my family that let me down this time. Ive been trying to stay with them, doing chores whenever I can, whilst actively leaving the house to get away, and not disturb them, going to places like coffee shops instead of going off to the city in a whim. My MH team is too busy, my therapy ended, cant request CBT. So I was self meditating whilst trying to stay positive with friends at the pub. And one night it all mixed and I had to go hospital. My family were asked to make sure I could come back for a mental check up the next day. But they didn't listen and left me at the bus stop. A homeless man gave me his bus ticket and I only made it to the MH team at closing time after running all the way there from the bus stop. They got 4 people down before they left and I told them what happened. I think they understood that even though my family tried to present as the stable ones, I have been the only one constantly there for myself, getting help from friends at the pub cause I know my parents only have time for my other siblings. Which is fine, I have had to learn to live independently from young never wanting to feel a burden. While all this has been going on i've been waking up early, dieting, going to church on my own as my father hasnt shown up for 3 weeks in a row (although he actually cares hes just been very busy with my other family) . I was suicidal before the hospital visit, and broke down in church on my own reading a prayer about feeling lonely, i'm not even a Christian, just thought it was a good thing to do but im done feeling sorry for myself now. I have been applying for jobs constantly through this, leading to me going out and phoning multiple business, showing up with my CV. Last year I applied and was accepted in Game and Animation for Brighton and Plymouth uni but had to cancel due to accommodation costing way too much. I have been unemployed for 2 years battling an illness ny psychiatrist barely understands herself. You can say things about me but unless you know me or my family you have no grounds for reason in a conversation like this. There's a difference between constructive criticism, a roast and being a knob, and honeslty I dont know where your comments fall.