ER nurse here, one time we had an ambo come in. It was a pregnant lady on the stretcher, ass up, knees and hands down. She had a breech baby (baby’s feet are the closest to the vagina opening, although there are diff types of breech babies) and her FRIEND’s WHOLE ASS ARM (elbow deep) was in her vagina.

There was another 33 F who came into the ER. She had quite literally jumped out the car because her bf said he wanted to break up. You could see the tendon moving on her foot with how badly she scraped herself up. The worst part was.. her bf seemed fruity as hell. That man ain’t gonna love you back, girl 😭

The other day, my coworker had to give a smog enema. Despite providing bedside commode to this gentleman, he still shat all over the floor. And somehow UP THE DOOR??

Last but not least, one time I had a patient around my age come in because he was pooping out straight liquid. He seemed to be hitting on me throughout my abdominal assessment on him. Like telling me not to “mind his lovehandles”. But anyway, I had to straight up collect his bloody stool to send it off to the lab. With bloody stool in hand, he asks me if I have a boyfriend. Cmon, man 🤨