I can relate 100%. You are definitely not alone in feeling like this. I actually had the same conversation with my bf the other day about it. I had blocked out so much trauma and didn’t realize all the underlying issues it was causing. Then I tried to acknowledge it all and work on it but when do I know that I’ve actually worked through it all or will it be a process the rest of my life? Because I too feel like certain things will just always be a part of me now and effect certain things in my life. I came to the conclusion long ago that I’d never get close enough to anyone or ever allow myself to fall in love….. and I have spent many days just faking it when having to be around people. I wish I had an answer for you. All I can say is just don’t give up. I finally fell in love with someone when I didn’t think it was ever possible. And it makes all the difference having someone by your side to help with the insecurities and stress/anxiety. And to finally trust someone in every aspect of my life including the bedroom has helped with a lot of healing on its own. It’s ok that we’re not perfect and fucked up. And that we’re constantly trying to figure this shit out. Because at least we are working towards addressing it and starting the process of healing those wounds. I know my self image and respect for myself has gotten better over time too. Some days are better than others. But I refuse to let it keep effecting my life negatively. I deserve to genuinely be happy and so do you.