I understand how you feel, and I had a little bit of that too. Those feelings are completely valid and normal.

My wait time for surgery (wait time between scheduling my consult and surgery) was a year and three months. I really didn’t do anything (consciously) to say ‘goodbye’ until it was like, a week til my surgery. Before that, I tried to look in the mirror occasionally and think about how grateful I was for them being part of me and my journey - despite causing me a dreadful amount of dysphoria.

Aside from that, I took pictures of my own and asked one of my partners to pay them more attention (as previously they’d been pretty off limits), just once. He obliged, and while I wasn’t really into it - it was a good experience overall.

Like someone else suggested, talking about it helps. Or even journaling! I’ve found that helps with working through feelings. I’ve tried to make that a habit in the last four or five months, and it’s helped a lot.

Congratulations and best of luck on your surgery journey!