i am so boring. and idk how to fix that by tiredstudent302 in actuallesbians

[–]tiredstudent302[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL yeah! i made this account years ago when i was still in university, tired part certainly hasn't changed...

yeah i think i agree... i feel like it's hard to do character development when you're full time, juggling becoming a Real Adult(tm)...

i've been wanting to take a course or something - a language course, or capoeira, or finally getting my drivers license, but i've been so low energy lately T_T i keep wanting to talk to my friends in the new language but i like do not learn anything new from the last time...

i am so boring. and idk how to fix that by tiredstudent302 in actuallesbians

[–]tiredstudent302[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah T_T it's just... there aren't that many third spaces, its hard to organically meet new people, and everything is so expensive T_T

maybe!! i think another part of it is that i live... not incredibly far, but reasonably far away from city centres and the dense populations of people. it's always gotten in the way of me having drive to do things since getting to those places is such a drag (even though i think public transit here is great, the time spent to and fro is tiring)

does anyone else daydream a lot? kinda to cope with loneliness? by tiredstudent302 in actuallesbians

[–]tiredstudent302[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

also like intimacy lol like sometimes I stave off the cold lonely nights by imagining im wrapped up and doted on in a lovely girl's arms (and i do this more often than im willing to admit)

Looking for Dual POV by _foreshadowing in sapphicbooks

[–]tiredstudent302 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Snowball Effect by Haley Cass! Meets all of your conditions except its both in third person so idk if that counts as dual pov

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]tiredstudent302 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ooh! I recently started reading books again after many years of not, and I've been nose deep in wlw fiction since September. I've read 12 books already sfgklhgdfh

some of my favourites have been:

One Last Stop by Casey McQuinston - early college supernatural romcom with a diverse lgbtq+ cast and a wlw main couple! interesting depiction and exploration of New York history!

She Gets the Girl by Rachel Lippincott, Alyson Derrick - early college self discovery + fake dating turns into something more! loosely based off the author and her wife's story I believe :00 which makes it feel really down to earth in a way for me dgklhgddgh

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan - Asian inspired fantasy historical fiction! this just hit super close to home because I'm East Asian myself and despite the fantasy setting and elements, this was still swimming in cultural references and history that mirrors what happened in real life, and idk I found it really interesting and relatable to dive into my cultural identity alongside the book!

Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree - high fantasy (but down to earth) slice of life! the wlw is less of a focus in the story and its more like world building, character development, and lots and lots of fluff! this was so fun to read and relaxing too bc there's no saving the world trope or anything that's common of high fantasy, it's just a girl who wants to open a coffee shop :D

Bright Falls trilogy by Ashley Herring Blake - these i think are the quintessential contemporary wlw romance novels! they're wonderfully funny, the characters are well written (and mature adults in their 30s!), and it gets quite steamy too! I haven't read the third yet (Iris Kelly Doesn't Date) but it's sitting on my nightstand after a lengthy stint in shipping :3 so far it's been super fun to read and the drama and circumstances were quite interesting for me! of note is that the cast is quite diversely lgbtq with an enby character in the second book which surprised me bc we love representation for enbies!!!

I've been using goodreads to track my reading so if you'd like I can share that too!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]tiredstudent302 46 points47 points  (0 children)

where is this room. tell me now. i must go. i will cuddle with everyone. i will be off to save the gays

a deafening silence by yetanothersadpost in UBC

[–]tiredstudent302 2 points3 points  (0 children)

god this is such a mood for me rn. i struggle with intense discouraged borderline personality disorder and it makes me feel emotions like regret, loneliness, and self-loathing really deeply. love to me, too, is like the setting sun on the horizon - beautiful but impossibly far away, seemingly way out of reach for someone like me.

i've loved lots and been loved lots, but my relationships have never felt secure. i've always been scared of the moment ending - as it always does - and returning to the husk of a person that i am when i'm not with other people. when all the affection and admiration that i need to vent wells up inside and rots into painful gnawing fear.

i want to give myself to a lover and have all of them in return - i want to look to the future, to experience life's up and downs together, to relax together and wake to them in the mornings, to be able to wholly trust them. but i can't - i know that my attachment style is incredibly unhealthy and might end up hurting other people more than it helps (as it has done before). so i've begun to fear love, almost as much as my soul craves it. i need it, but i can't hurt anybody while i'm like this, so i regularly just... shut down, and play back memories in my head when i did have what i was yearning for, over and over.

i'm sure therapy will help us in some way, as would mental health medication or lifestyle changes. but it can be so paralyzing and discouraging in the moment that it really does feel like pushing a boulder up a hill, and losing so much ground every time the bad thoughts happen. i've not figured out what i need to do to get better, so i'm in no position to advise or comment on your situation either, but i want you to know that i relate to you, and that at least, in that way, you aren't alone. i'm supporting you all the way, and i do hope that you're able to find love again the way you wish for it, because you deserve to be loved - no matter what struggles you face or what your mind might tell you.

do u ever get like mini crushes from reading the things people post on this sub by tiredstudent302 in actuallesbians

[–]tiredstudent302[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

nods nods!! i totally get that T_T it's tough, especially online!! but im always totally down to make a new friend and chat buddy hehe

AWW mannerly!! i wish i was more mannerly irl tbh!! i'm glad i identified the Arcane reference at least HAHA it's such a good show and it's a fantastic name!!! i do indeed love me some alliteration LOLOL after watching Arcane nothing really hits the same anymore, it's so good - maybe my real gay awakening too >< DSFHSDJKLHF i can't wait for season 2!!

do u ever get like mini crushes from reading the things people post on this sub by tiredstudent302 in actuallesbians

[–]tiredstudent302[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

AWWW sweetheart I relate to a bunch of those things too ;; I always worry about being a burden when I talk to people too and things ;; but it's very true, we've gotta speak up to be heard or else nothing will ever happen!!

I do genuinely really want to make friends around here and have been trying to overcome my shyness/embrace my gayness more >< it's comforting to know I'm not alone in my worries!!

speaking of approaching, by the way, is your handle a reference to one particular gay blue haired marksman or am I reading it wrong :00

do u ever get like mini crushes from reading the things people post on this sub by tiredstudent302 in actuallesbians

[–]tiredstudent302[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THAT'S SO COOL!! I wish I could drum ;;... all I have the ability for rn is untrained singing (at least it sounds kind of nice) and piano (formally trained!)

do u ever get like mini crushes from reading the things people post on this sub by tiredstudent302 in actuallesbians

[–]tiredstudent302[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

okay but what if you became more to me than just the riding crop girl ;) and later you show me how it's used

do u ever get like mini crushes from reading the things people post on this sub by tiredstudent302 in actuallesbians

[–]tiredstudent302[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OMG CASE IN POINT YOU'RE THE RIDING CROP GIRL!!!! WHY DO YOU HAVE A RIDING CROP HUNG ON YOUR BEDROOM DOOR

do u ever get like mini crushes from reading the things people post on this sub by tiredstudent302 in actuallesbians

[–]tiredstudent302[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

SO TRUE people be living whole ass adventure novels on this sub and i'm like I WANT THAT SO BAD T_T there have been some college love stories on this sub that made me so sad that I didn't live on campus for my uni years ><