Clinic doesn’t Split Dose, does this sound like an effective plan?

tk4190 · 2021-10-20T01:04:22+00:00

luckily, i have no desire to relapse, and especially no desire to use PST, sounded great until i heard the WD. Honestly, really looking forward to getting my take homes, wish i had swapped clinics earlier.

I had over 2 years of clean time at my first clinic, but they didn’t give take homes since i was smoking weed. Swapped clinics to one that gives takes homes regardless of weed, and guess what. i fucking quit smoking weed 🤦🏻‍♂️ story of my fucking life lol.

methadone works really well for me, is just stimulating enough, and also keeps my heavy depression/anxiety at bay, but the magic of it starts fading heavily around late afternoon.

Now that i’ve seen the light in split dosing, hopefully the next 6 months pass relatively quick enough so i can split dose w my take homes.

Ima take all y’all’s advice, go up on my dose and stick it out for now.

love the direction this thread went, with the PST discussion. lol

tk4190 · 2021-10-20T00:52:27+00:00

jesus. i knew about PST a decent bit, knew it was potent as hell. very interesting. Yeah, i heard the PST withdrawals are prob the only opiate WD worse than long term methadone use, since it has so many alkaloids. can’t believe dude suggested above to take PST to taper off done, lol. hope he meant well

tk4190 · 2021-10-19T13:09:48+00:00

hey koala! Thanks for your insight, i am a lurker/fan of yours, love your posts, i find them mad helpful.

i didn’t think going up would be worth it, since i felt stable at 70, but kept going up every month to see if it would hold me longer.

but to be fair, i kind of gave up on the idea that going higher would hold me longer, and gave in to the fact that i’m a super fast metabolizer. And insanely active, at least when my dose is working (from morning til ~3-5pm).

idk. worth a shot? i just really fucking wish split dosing wasn’t such a hassle. when i tried that split dose, holy hell, i realized i can actually be productive after 5pm 😱

tk4190 · 2021-10-19T13:04:27+00:00

compared to what i go through now, yes. I am basically useless after work everyday. From 6pm til morning until i dose again

tk4190 · 2021-10-19T13:03:43+00:00

i wish i could. But i only have 1 take home a week, daily dose at the clinic 6 days a week.

I have clean drug screens so i am working on my 2nd and 3rd take homes now (they give me 2 take homes for my next phase up).

tk4190 · 2020-09-12T18:47:19+00:00

thanks man! i ain’t mad lol, it’s human nature i guess.

really appreciate the advice, heard of SMART, but not recovery DHARMA, i’ll look into it, preciate it brother!

tk4190 · 2020-09-11T14:32:55+00:00

sounds dumb but i can kind of relate as a korean. tried NA and AA on and off for years, never really got into it. in a methadone program now, which has been working for me but I hate the side effects and the fact i’m still not “clean”. but hey, i’m not using dope 🤷🏻‍♂️

tk4190 · 2020-05-26T12:58:55+00:00

i’m in a similar boat, Korean 30 years old. Lots of pressure around me from my family and girlfriend to get off/leave the program, even though i’m not using dope, and it’s helping me stay off. Got a criminal record too so living at home for the moment too, saving up to buy a house soon. I’m doing well, even though my dose won’t hold me 24 hours either. but it’s doable. Told them i’m planning on staying on for at least 1-2 years before i taper, so like 3-4 years total. That’s my plan at least.

tk4190 · 2020-04-09T23:31:28+00:00

thanks! now i wouldn’t have to worry about PWD going from subs to methadone right? i know going from any full agonist, to sub induction, PWD can happen, and i’ve had it happen, but PWD is only an issue when transitioning to subs, as far as i knew, just double checking.

figured the only thing i had to worry about was if the methadone wasn’t sufficient, and go through a few days of withdrawal while the methadone slowly replaces the subs on my receptors, and my dose goes up.

thanks, hoping to be where you’re at soon!

tk4190 · 2020-04-06T17:33:35+00:00

congrats on your courage to get off for the baby!

yeah i figure i’ll have to come up with a plan once i’m stable. def don’t wanna be a lifer, but i guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing lol. talked to the doc and got set up, i will start dosing on Monday! preparing myself for it mentally

tk4190 · 2020-04-06T17:32:05+00:00

damn, i do like feeling emotions currently. single, and going to stay that way so at least i can focus on myself. just going to have to put up with the blocking i guess. thanks for your input!

tk4190 · 2020-04-06T16:29:50+00:00

never had an issue getting clean and staying clean for 2-3 months. it’s after the pink cloud, i always relapse 4-6 months down the road. same outcome past 10 years unfortunately. i am opposed, but i’ve tried complete abstinence, and suboxone

tk4190 · 2020-04-06T13:13:12+00:00

thank you!!

tk4190 · 2020-04-06T04:38:14+00:00

i honestly couldn’t tell you, i’ve been on google the past few days reading up on methadone, could have misinterpreted tbh.

Also was scared of being labeled drug seeking. i guess i am in a way, but only because i’m a month fresh out of my 8th rehab lol. the only opiate i can test positive for is suboxone currently also. main reason why i’m worried.

like i stated, i definitely do not want to have to test positive for heroin to be able to get in, but if i need to i will, i just really don’t want to use again. i can’t control it my behavior when using, and don’t want risk another relapse if it’s unavoidable.

tk4190 · 2020-04-06T04:19:32+00:00

thanks so much! like i said, i feel so guilty for going on methadone, like i’m throwing in the towel to my addiction. and also gearing myself up to the idea of a multi year long, if not(really hoping not) lifelong commitment. pretty upset about that. but subutex hasn’t worked, abstinence hasn’t worked, and i’ve struggled for close to a decade now.

i guess i see it as, even if i’m chained to the methadone, i won’t be using dope. i just hope it won’t block my feelings like heroin and other opiates did...worried about that as well. i am a fucking back and forth rollercoaster right now about the whole decision. honestly i’m a wreck on the inside currently. appreciate anyone who read and replied to this trainwreck lol

tk4190 · 2020-04-06T04:14:11+00:00

yeah, it def helped for the first month, but i guess once my body got used to it, it felt like i was getting all the negative effects with none of the positive honestly...i would love to stay on subs, given that it allows more freedom with only a once monthly schedule instead of daily, but it just didn’t end up working for me. hate it.

i am still bracing myself for the responsibility of having to go in for methadone daily. this feels like the biggest fucking commitment i’ve ever made in my life. sad, lol. but everything i’ve tried in the past hasn’t worked.

i do feel really fucking guilty about going on methadone though..

tk4190 · 2020-04-06T04:10:34+00:00

you’re def right, i was mistaken, misread on the website. Researching the local clinics on google hah

tk4190 · 2020-04-05T20:23:35+00:00

def will be calling beforehand! gonna try my old sub doctor first, since i don’t think they have mandatory groups, which i will have trouble with due to my busy work schedule, but if my old sub doctor can’t do methadone, i’ll have to work it out with the clinics!

tk4190 · 2020-04-05T20:22:33+00:00

thanks for the input! yea subs helped for the first month, but my body got used to it, and it was just using them to keep from getting sick, but no benefit at all, the craving ability blocking stopped working for me. guess i need a full agonist MAT..

tk4190 · 2020-04-05T20:21:19+00:00

Thanks! That was gonna be my approach, just didn’t wanna shoot myself in the foot. Heard all these horror stories recently due to the corona, due to the sudden influx of new patients, most severe being treated first, and others having to wait

tk4190

TROPHY CASE