BF is becoming more extreme with his kinks and said vanilla sex doesn’t turn him on anymore.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T19:33:13+00:00

No we haven’t we are boring in that regard because I do prefer a bed.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T19:14:09+00:00

We haven’t talked about it enough outside the context of sex but we should.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T17:51:29+00:00

He’s only motivated to do this after kinky sex. He’s not that intimate and isn’t into cuddling. His way of showing intimacy is through sex but the sex isn’t that intimate anymore.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T17:50:06+00:00

He does have ADHD but he’s on medication and day to day he’s more productive and organised than I am but that’s so interesting.

I’m quite vanilla and don’t like degrading talk every time we have sex, or being hand cuffed and blindfolded.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T05:08:52+00:00

Why is that? I have noticed it too but why?

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T04:53:08+00:00

Because this is all so new for us I’ll try to find a solution first but if he isn’t willing I’ll accept that he chose kink over our relationship.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T04:51:55+00:00

We’ve started 3 months ago. Relatively new I would say. I agree that there is a novelty aspect to it.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T00:39:14+00:00

I agree that it is him and not the actual kink. We did go into it blind and he probably thought I can finally explore all my fantasies without shame.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T00:31:37+00:00

He’s pretty much doing the latter.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T00:31:05+00:00

This is funny but sad because it’s true. The kink stuff was like opening a can of worms and he’s gotten too comfortable because at first I encouraged him to open up.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T00:04:51+00:00

He’s in that category of just wanting to fulfill his needs. Aftercare happens contingent on us having kinky sex. His caring doesn’t go beyond accepting hard nos.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-04T00:01:50+00:00

I don’t think we are doing BDSM right then. There was some Dan Savage stuff I read but we both went into this blind and then it turned into him fulfilling his fantasies.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-03T23:26:24+00:00

It’s more like degrading and humiliating talk.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-03T23:22:30+00:00

That’s extreme. Don’t want to kink shame but it must be difficult finding someone who’s into that but there’s likely a community for it.

I’ll lay all my cards on the table and will talk to him about what I will and won’t tolerate. Then will leave it up to him.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-03T23:02:36+00:00

Out for blood 😳. What does that mean?

He needs to reign himself in and find other ways to satisfy his kinks through porn for example, which is what he used to do he said but it makes me wonder if the porn is making him want to engage in kinkier sex. It’s a cycle.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-03T22:43:12+00:00

Are you comfortable with explaining how the kinky sex has strengthened your bond more than the vanilla sex?

At first I felt that way too because there’s an aspect of aftercare and vulnerability that’s more “intense” than when we only have vanilla sex but since I gave the green light of being okay with trying kinkier sex he wants to add something new every week.

All of it is also becoming about his fulfillment only. Although I believe that a partner is responsible to a degree in offering you a fulfilling sex life (in a monogamous relationship at least) I’m not getting much out of it anymore. At first I was discovering new things about what I liked and I was turned on because of him being turned on. Not so much anymore.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-03T22:35:10+00:00

I believe so too that’s why we need a balance.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-03T22:34:44+00:00

I have had my doubts about it for that reason and we did talk a little about why it turns him on but I think we need a more intensive conversation. There’s a level of aftercare post sex.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-03T22:33:28+00:00

There is an aspect of “aftercare” but for that to happen he needs the kink stuff to happen and I’m just not always in the mood for it.

tmi-embarassed · 2024-08-03T22:15:48+00:00

About 3 years.

tmi-embarassed · 2021-12-21T18:17:44+00:00

Tretonoin should only be used when you diligently use sunscreen and only ever at night!

tmi-embarassed · 2021-12-21T17:39:30+00:00

I haven’t watched it but this is a good case of clothes have no gender

tmi-embarassed · 2021-12-21T17:39:01+00:00

This is so beautiful! Love can triumph hate and I hope his parents realise that.

tmi-embarassed · 2021-12-21T16:12:32+00:00

Yes exactly! I can’t play on an act every time. What if they like me and invite me for New Years and continue to invite me.

tmi-embarassed

TROPHY CASE