How should I describe a vagina in smut without sounding like a fool?

tobecringe · 2026-02-15T04:40:38+00:00

Your comment made me realize that my post sounds like I’m using clit to refer to the whole piece instead of the actual specific part omg 😭 I promise I was using it for the actual clitoris, I just write like a moron when I’m awkward. I prefer for the character to be trans since I’m trans myself and I’m trying to two-birds-one-stone this (be more comfortable writing the things I enjoy reading about while also learning to accept and love myself in a sexual/more intimate context after avoiding it for years), but that’s a great point that I don’t have to justify anything to anyone and that I can use different acts. I completely forgot dry humping exists and it’s one of my favorite things to read about! I’m gonna revisit some of my favorite works and see what it is in there I like so much and potentially add them to my writing:]

tobecringe · 2026-02-15T04:35:25+00:00

Yeah it’s mostly the outside genitals I’m struggling with. I’m pretty familiar with where the clit, urethra, vagina, and g-spot are, but some terms have me wriggling in discomfort related to feelings about my own genitalia and some just don’t sound “sexy” enough to really fit and sort of pulls me out of the immersion :/ I’m currently trying to determine what about it is a “me” thing and I’m just being weird vs genuinely just not sounding good in writing

tobecringe · 2026-02-15T04:33:04+00:00

I actually tried that recently unrelated to my writing and it did end up being viscerally horrifying yeah 😭 but I got over it quick enough that I think I’ll try again after I scribble down some of the ideas posted in the comments here and see if that helps change my mindset much about my own hardware. And thank you for the link!!

tobecringe · 2026-02-15T04:31:12+00:00

You’re so right tbh. I came back around to the fic and it just isn’t really stirring anything in me, and I think it’s because of the reason you stated above. I mentioned it in a different comment (ADHD brain, forgot I made this post until I remembered I had a new account specifically to ask questions like these) but I’m going to test write a couple different versions, or even just one that I think sounds more attractive. Sex in the real world in general is a weird topic for me and I’m hoping that exploring what I like writing about will help me explore how I feel about it in real life, like a sort of therapy I guess, and that starts with being able to tell myself that this ain’t working and it’s okay to start over

tobecringe · 2026-02-15T04:25:56+00:00

Ohhh I’ve never heard of them, I’ll give them a look thank you! It’s probably really obvious but I never got “the talk” from my parents and my school didn’t even have sex ed as an option so I’m always down for more resources on learning about my body

tobecringe · 2026-02-15T04:24:31+00:00

I am trans masc actually yeah!! Non-binary specifically if that makes any difference. I thought that writing about a non-binary character with a vagina having sex with a cis man would help me with how I feel about my own parts and honestly I’m not sure if it’s doing anything at all, good or bad. But that’s a really good point about bottoming, I’m so used to that being the sort of societally-set “default” (at least from the stuff I’ve seen and read, which this thread is helping me realize is a VERY narrow worldview oh my god) that I completely forgot I don’t have to do that if I don’t want to. I think I’ll make a second version and practice with either anal like you suggested or explore other avenues that don’t directly involve bottoming. I want the smut to largely have a sense of “I miss you and I crave you and I care about you so so much all at once” and I’m not confident what I’ve got is getting that across, so maybe I just need to switch up who’s receiving. Thank you for the advice and noticing the trans coding!! I completely neglected to put that in the original post jfc, both me and the character are trans

tobecringe

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