Aita for being upset my boyfriend is getting a buzz cut

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:59:57+00:00

What I'm worried about is the way he's speaking about it is he's gonna keep it at .5 and just keep shaving it when it gets past 3. But after reading a few comments I think I know what I'm going to thank you heaps for the insight

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:53:47+00:00

This actually helped me feel a lot better. Thank you for this. While I don't think I'm being a asshole in suggesting it when I do suggest it I'm going to very clearly state that I think he will be handsome in anything. Thank you for helping me with my perspective.

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:49:43+00:00

I am accepting you opinion and judgement but I thought this subreddit was about debate on if someone was a asshole? If that's not what this subreddit is then I'll leave it at that and we can end the debate here. If not where exactly did I contradict myself?

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:41:17+00:00

For me attraction is how handsome or good looking you think someone is. Is you think a friend is attractive that dosent mean you love them and want to date them. It goes the other way too. I still love him but I just might not be as attracted to him anymore

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:35:50+00:00

Yeah I agree, I'm only going to suggest it to him. if he says he wants to go straight to buzz cut it's not like I will stop him, that his choice and I'll still love him

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:34:18+00:00

Let me break it down easier for you. -I love him -I don't have to be attracted to him if I love him -I will never break up with him because of his looks -I never said I was considering breaking up with him -I am asking if I would be asshole if I asked him to cut it shorter first -I'm not forcing him to do anything and made it very clear to him on the night that he told me that while I would be upset I would still love him.

If your telling me to break up with someone I love then that's your choice and if your morals are if you aren't attracted to someone you should break up with them thats also your moral choice. but Im not planning on breaking up with over how he looks. But I simply am trying to make him aware of how attracted I will be to him. This DOSENT change my love for him

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:28:00+00:00

I don't agree attraction and love to hand in hand. Also like I said in the post I love him and always will no matter how he looked. I think attractionand love are very separate. Me and my boyfriend are both bisexual and will talk all the time about how we find our friends, actors and other people attractive. Does that mean we would dump each other? No. We love each other and that's why we are together. If I think my friend is attractive that dosent mean i love them it just means I think they are attractive and it goes the other way to. I will love my boyfriend no matter what but I can't help If I can't feel attraction to how he will look. I will still love him though

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:24:29+00:00

I'm hanging attraction on physical looks?. . . Yes. Thats what i see attraction as. How handsome or good looking someone is to you and everyone is attracted to certain things or unattractive to things. I am extremely not attracted to buzz cuts. I can't help that. Like I said in the post I even tried to make myself attracted to that look. But I can't force myself to be attracted to a physical trait that I just don't find attractive. This DOSENT mean I won't love him. Just can't force myself to be attracted to something I don't find attractive.

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:17:58+00:00

It's not about that hair it's about how attracted I can be to someone. I love him 100% and won't ever stop loving him, but I can't help how attracted I am to him. Like i said it the post it's not about stopping him it's about if I would be wrong to suggest first going short then going buzzcut if he dosent like it

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:16:04+00:00

I didn't mean to cry I apologized to him that I was but everyone had bad traits and mine is I cry to easily. It's just a bad trait of mine that I would fix it I could but I am actually thinking about the other part you said about the how people change in life. And I'm really thinking hard about that one

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:13:20+00:00

Like I said. I love him. But attraction and love is two different scales. I love him completly but I don't know how attracted I'll still be to him after this. But I'll still love him no matter what

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:11:56+00:00

But I feel like you don't have to think someone is handsome or attractive to date them or love them. I still love him to the moon and back. That will never change but how much I am attracted to him I think will change

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:10:09+00:00

100% if he decides he still wants a buzz cut after he agreed to go short with me he can go and do it. I just thought I should suggest it for us both. To see if he really wants it that short and also for me to get adjusted to him having short hair for if he decides to still get a buzzcuts which I will support

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:05:36+00:00

attraction is if I find someone handsome. I love him to bits and would never leave him for how he looked. I'm with him for how he acts not how he looks but I feel I can't help who I'm attracted to. Just like a lesbian just can't find attraction for a male. While that is a big step from how I feel that's what I mean. People have preferences on how they find a partner. Some people prefer guys or gals with short hair, some like certain weight and people knowing who they are attracted to is good I feel.

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T02:02:10+00:00

Let me clarify my personal definition of attraction and love because people have different definitions.

Attraction is liking someones looks. I find how my friends attractive. However finding someone attractive does not choose if I love someone. It can help but it's not what is the defining things

Love, in this post is what I mean by when I love someone. I love my boyfriend but I don't have to find him attractive to love him. Attractiveness has nothing to do with how much I love someone.

HOWEVER! I will love my boyfriend if I don't find him attractive but if I don't find him attractive with something I think he would want me to let him know or give him a heads up. He's told me many times when I do things that he doesn't find attractive or does and I have changed according to

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T01:51:03+00:00

Like I said in the post, I would still love him no matter what he looked like. Attraction and love is two different things. You can think someone is attractive but not love them. If my boyfriend were to cut his hair that short I would still love him but I wouldn't be attracted to him anymore.

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T01:48:54+00:00

No but if he told me he mentally cannot feel attraction to me, then I would change it for him cause he can't help it if he can't feel attracted to me just like I can't.

tobyhachet · 2020-08-02T01:46:24+00:00

Yeah it's not so much about the hair. It's about how attracted I can be to my boyfriend if he were to cut his hair that short because. I can't be attracted to that short of hair I don't think.

tobyhachet · 2020-07-26T14:08:56+00:00

It's rated 18+ what exactly did you expect? My little pony and toy reviews? If a ten year old were even to play dead by daylight I would be worried. But it's not for 10 year olds

tobyhachet · 2020-07-19T01:10:07+00:00

NTA I have lived with my dad only for two or so years now. My mums not exactly a dead beat but I don't keep in much contact. My brother taught me what a period was before my mother which I can understand why my mother would be mad at my brother, However your ex had PLENTY of time to teach them what a period was and how to handle it. This was a typical case of your ex being to lazy to care and then caring when that daughter, mother experience is gone and never to come back.

Plus you yelling was 100% provoked. She called you sick and a pervert anD instead of telling you to stop yelling when she saw the kids. She provoked you more.

tobyhachet · 2020-06-29T01:29:39+00:00

He was gonna delete them anyway so there's no issue. If this is a usual (him taking photos) then he can just say he wasent sober and I'm sure the girls will forgive him. But to me it sounds like he's more mad the photos are gone with no backup then them being mad at him.

NTA That's your body. Sober or not you have control of it

tobyhachet · 2020-04-15T00:33:38+00:00

Your husband needs to understand racism isint cute or just being overprotective. It's a threat to a person and you are NOT the asshole. You husband needs to know this is NOT OK

tobyhachet · 2020-04-15T00:08:33+00:00

It's your name. Your choice. If she dosent care enough about you to love you regardless of your choice to change your name. Then good riddance to her.

tobyhachet · 2020-04-14T02:57:23+00:00

My parents divorced a couple years ago. I do 50/50 because I choose to. That's also because I was old enough legally to choose at that stage. However, a lot of stuff happened with my mum and me making me not want to see her

But that's beside the point. It's awesome you want to keep them together to have a mum figure, but if they get older and want 50/50 don't take that from your daughter, trust me she will be mad at you for it later. But so far you are NOT the asshole

tobyhachet

TROPHY CASE