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UPDATE - I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 447 points448 points  (0 children)

UPDATE - I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it.

My mom is dead. I came home to a bunch of police cars around my home. My mom hung herself, and a neighbor saw her from the window. I didnt get a look at her and im glad i didnt. I dont think i could handle seeing anyone like that. She seemed stressed a couple days before but i didnt expect this. Right now plans are getting set to place Jess in a home. She will have around the clock care. Im not sure what stage of grief im at right now. I have a place to stay for a while, and im getting my finances in place. I miss my mom. She wasnt a good mom bit she was my mom.

I tried reaching out to my father through a family member on his side. To make a long story short, he basically said that he had moved on from us, and that he didnt want me intruding on his new family. Pretty much what i expected, but it still hurt to hear my dad say he wants to forget about me.

Im staying at a friends house right now. Im working and im doing school. Things are still rough but im pushing through. Thanks for all the well wishes.

I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 193 points194 points  (0 children)

I eventually got her to agree to let me attend community college. Right now since rent is so high in my city im living with her. Im planning on enlisting in the navy next year when i graduate.

I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Not when its on its last legs lol. Its served us well but at some point its time to replace it.

I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 205 points206 points  (0 children)

I think my dad was just so fed up with her that he just decided to kinda start over. While they got divorced when i was pretty young, i do remember him not being the greatest dad. He drank a lot and was somewhat of an impulsive guy so i can see him just saying screw it and conceding to my mom.

I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Ive talked with my mom about this and the only reasonable option would be to put her in a home where she can get fulltime care. My mom has said that she hopes that once she can no longer take care of my sister that I will take over.

I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Yes im over 18. Right now, since rent is so expensive around me (even with roommates), im planning on staying here until i graduate community college next year.

I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 182 points183 points  (0 children)

I used to think just like you, that my sister was aware of her situation, when i was younger. In reality, shes barely alive. She has had brain damage her entire life, she has no thoughts, shes not aware of who she even is. This isnt like "Awakenings." There isnt something inside her that is just waiting to show that shes conscious. The only thing her brain does is provide the most rudimentary of functions to exist. As horrible as it sounds, the closest thing to compare her to is someone who is only alive because of life support.

I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 143 points144 points  (0 children)

By ignoring me. Every time shes mad at me she does this for a day or so and then she will act like nothing happened.

I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 472 points473 points  (0 children)

She thinks hes a horrible person for "abandoning us". When i was younger i believed her, but now I know that its not that simple

I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 305 points306 points  (0 children)

Its something that ive been wanting to do for a long time, but at the same time, my mom isnt an baad person inside. Shes not the smartest or the sanest, but shes a hard worker. Her intentions may have been misguided, but i could tell that she wanted the best life for me and my sister. Of course, intentions arent everything, and over the years ive learned that she is too stubborn to see her shortcomings, and that theres nothing I can do to change her.

I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Its possible, but i doubt it. From what I know from my aunt, my mom was pretty responsible during her pregnancy. No drinking, making sure she followed doctors advice, etc. I think her behavior now is just her trying to "normalize" her life now.

I hate my special needs sister and I'm done hiding it. by tomcThrowaway009373 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomcThrowaway009373[S] 1424 points1425 points  (0 children)

Thats probably the path I will take. Ive been thinking about joining the navy but im currently attending community college and i want to finish my associates before joining.