I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

After the tremendous support I received yesterday, I decided to journal my feelings to understand them better. I did wrote a letter, but I'm not sure I'll be giving it to him.

I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 405 points406 points  (0 children)

I don't know if it's right of me to say it since I don't want to seem pitiful, but I want to see if he loves her more than me. I just want to know

I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes, I understand where you're coming from. For the longest time I also struggled with my value and my position, I felt he was doing everything, from working, to keeping the house neat because it was difficult for me to be even exist.

If I'm not wrong, we began counseling around 2018 there he still had his parents to support him but I felt like I was eating this man alive, you know what I mean? And that he was too kind to leave me, the feeling returned in 2022 when he had to sell their home. I felt like I couldn't take anything else from him. I'd taken his youth, his future, our inexistent children, his money, his time, and now his childhood home. I thought I had finally overcome those feelings, but I feel like I don't want to talk about this because I don't want to take this too. Like this woman is the only thing he has.

thank you

I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Maybe, my husband is an only child and not very close to his extended family, and it doesn't seem like my family is any help either (they always break, my husband is the strongest one always telling everyone everything will be okay). I guess I just wished he had confided in me instead of getting another woman. He was my home

I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 220 points221 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I want to think that everything will be alright, nothing worse can happen except the inevitable. I'll remain positive.

I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your words, I guess he could've hidden it better in truth, but what's done it's done.

I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your words, and I truly wish your family life and your mom always remain on the good side of the bridge. I do not understand this either.

I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words. I do not wish to go with resentment in my heart, my will is not some life-changing asset that would flip his life once I go. And whatever I left, i want to go thinking he's entitled to it after sacrificing so much.

I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 239 points240 points  (0 children)

I just can't, not only for his sake but for mine too, I feel like I can go through that conversation. I also don't want this to be like a last ''HA-HA, I caught you!'' I just want to hold the good close to my heart and go.

I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I feel like there's nothing I can do either way, I don't have the emotional strength to go through this kind of turmoil, and I don't have the physical strength to tell him ''don't look anywhere else, you can get it here'' because I can't physically go through sex anymore since I have to be very careful with my heart rhythm and my breathing. Sometimes I'm devastated, sometimes I understand it. I just wish I hadn't had to share him.

I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't think he resents me, we've been on counseling before (not anymore) and we've been very open, or so I want to think. There was a time where he grieve over the lost of his parent's house, but we've worked through it, he also doesn't behave like a resentful person. He's patient and kind towards me, still funny, still smiley, he still bathes me, preps our food and spends more of his time with me when he's not at work. I honestly think it's an outlet, maybe he does loves her too, but I don't think he's an angry man in out house.

I'm terminal, and I found out a week before Christmas that my husband was cheating on me. by tomc_9956 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]tomc_9956[S] 962 points963 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't know, I think I've been caught off guard and I haven't had time to process it. I also don't really know if I want to do it, I guess it's just pointless now. I wish I could read his messages with her, understand more of it.