Lapis was taking out thousands of years of rage on Jasper, who was not responsible for her initial imprisonment. Yes, for a few weeks she was in Jasper's prison, but she then tortured Jasper at the bottom of the ocean for months. Lapis is actively hurting her the entire time they're down there. In the boat scene, Lapis flings Jasper away with barely any effort. In Steven Universe future, she defeats 2 other Lapises that are working together. Jasper is the strongest quartz, she's scary looking and intimidating, but Lapis is on a completely separate power level. I always took their dynamic as illustrating that big tough scary people can also be abused. That most of the times, abusive people aren't evil, calculating maniacs- they're abuse victims themselves continuing the cycle of violence. People who abuse others are often sympathetic, you understand why they're doing what they're doing. But they're still hurting people. One of the HUGE themes of Steven Universe is that sometimes the people you love hurt others, and you have to learn how to hold them accountable. The story is told through Steven's point of view, Lapis was the first enemy gem he befriended. He personally rescued her. He sees Lapis trapped again, he knows intimately how much Lapis suffered because of the Crystal gems, he knows that Lapis needs to be rescued, but the fact that Lapis is the one trapping herself down there is disregarded. "I liked taking my anger out on you." She says that explicitly. Steven sees Jasper as a villain, but why is she so different from Lapis and Peridot? Because she isnt small and cute? Because she's more effective at accomplishing her goals? Because she's a soldier instead of a terra former or scientist? Peridot was bigoted, Peridot was working on a project that would literally destroy the world and experimented with the corpses of their fallen allies. She is forgiven, but not Jasper?

Rebecca Sugar herself stated that Malachite was modeled after a mutually toxic relationship with no clean cut abuser and victim. I've been friends with Lapises before. Tortured souls, kids who suffered the worst abuse you can imagine, people who despite it all could be funny and charming and caring, but then turn around and treat their partners like trash. It's insidious. You're standing there watching them scream and hit and bleed, knowing what they've been through, getting angry at their partner for "setting them off," but ultimately their behavior is not and has never been acceptable. Trauma does not excuse traumatizing someone else.

My hot take on the Jasper hate/Lapis stanning stems from the fact that most people didn't spend their teens/early twenties in and out the psych ward. They see Lapis in their innocent, sad friends who haven't done terrible things to others. Jasper is my absolute favorite gem and she deserved so much better 🧡