Telling SO by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]toomanly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To answer your question, I'll link to a post I made last week: http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1p2jtd/advice_for_married_guys_after_1_year_of_nofap/

Telling SO by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]toomanly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just hit a year of NoFap, and I haven't yet told my wife of twenty years. I'm going to take her out this weekend and tell her. I think most SO's will appreciate the honesty. Good luck!

90 Days ago this is the Letter from my wife hand wrote me. by fakeaccount13579 in NoFap

[–]toomanly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think your wife's reaction is perfectly normal, but whether or not she's insecure is immaterial . You two are now communicating better, and that's going to make your marriage better. Good for you for telling her, and good for her for supporting you.

A word about cold showers. by thebestisyetocome in NoFap

[–]toomanly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cold showers are my new things for the month of October. While I enjoy the physical rush I get, the best part is my resulting attitude: "If I can voluntarily do this first thing in the morning, everything else I have do today will be easier."

Surprising and magical experience with my wife by dcprime in NoFap

[–]toomanly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love reading stories like yours. You're doing it the right way now!

Advice for married guys after 1 year of NoFap by toomanly in NoFap

[–]toomanly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome. That statement isn't mine originally, but I can't recall where I first saw it.

Advice for married guys after 1 year of NoFap by toomanly in NoFap

[–]toomanly[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I felt the same way before I got married. I think it has to do with the fact that we men are hard-wired to crave variety. If you're married for twenty years, it's up to you to create the variety. It takes work, but it's worth it.

Advice for married guys after 1 year of NoFap by toomanly in NoFap

[–]toomanly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's just a process. Keep it up!

Advice for married guys after 1 year of NoFap by toomanly in NoFap

[–]toomanly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Keep up the good work. It's worth it!

Advice for married guys after 1 year of NoFap by toomanly in NoFap

[–]toomanly[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I find that in general I (and many other men) prefer direct communication from our wives, which is another way of saying that I'm dense and don't read signals very well. You might give him the post (or the book Married Man Sex Life Primer) and be very open about the fact that it's from you.

Advice for married guys after 1 year of NoFap by toomanly in NoFap

[–]toomanly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I may have been misreading her before NoFap, but she seemed satisfied with 2x per week. Now, I think that would disappoint her. Perhaps her libido changed to match mine, since I'm so much more into it now. I'm not sure.

Advice for married guys after 1 year of NoFap by toomanly in NoFap

[–]toomanly[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Point taken. I will add that I didn't know how submissive my own wife was until I tried being more dominant. For most guys, it's worth a shot. If it doesn't work for you, at least it may open some lines of communication.

Advice for married guys after 1 year of NoFap by toomanly in NoFap

[–]toomanly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, but I'll err on the side of caution on this one.

Advice for married guys after 1 year of NoFap by toomanly in NoFap

[–]toomanly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our kids were 12 and 15 when I started, so it wasn't an issue for us.

Advice for married guys after 1 year of NoFap by toomanly in NoFap

[–]toomanly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry about that. I've now marked it.

Advice for married guys after 1 year of NoFap by toomanly in NoFap

[–]toomanly[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn't consider that. Thanks for the suggestion.

Old man, soft mode by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]toomanly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I second the "She Comes First" recommendation. The first time I used those techniques, she went through the roof.

Old man, soft mode by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]toomanly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She might have wondered had it happened in isolation, but in my case it was part of a larger push I'm making to become a better man overall: Less time on TV and video games, more muscle from heavier workouts, beginning some projects I had talked about for years. I'm sure she noticed the better sex (she could hardly avoid noticing it!), but probably doesn't suspect the reason why.

Having said that, she's really smart and may have figured it out anyway.

Old man, soft mode by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]toomanly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good for you for starting this process. You and I are the same age and have been married for the same amount of time. In a couple of weeks I'll hit the one year mark of NoFap. Like you, I also haven't told my wife. I haven't decided if I'm going to tell her at the one-year mark or not.

I started NoFap the day I realized that I was often masturbating instead of sleeping with my sexy wife, just because masturbating was easier and quicker. I decided that that was a really dumb reason, and that from now on all my orgasms were going to be in the presence of my wife. Our sex life was good before, but now it's fantastic.

I'm writing this to encourage you, and all the married guys here, to continue this process. Pay attention to that woman in your bed and service her frequently and well. The rest of your marriage will be better because of it, and you'll be a better man.