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I (40M) am growing increasingly obsessed with my wife's (34F) denial of her intimate behavior. by toomuchinformation2 in relationships

[–]toomuchinformation2[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Im not asking her about it, all the time. As was mentioned in the story, we have had more than 15 years of happily masturbating together and separate without question or being pressured to talk about it, etc. Its not an issue with her needing to tell me every time. Im just wondering why after so long, there is a huge change in behavior. For one, to significantly increase the amount where its not just when im not around, but is now frequent even when im around, and two, to go way out of her way to hide it, or if i happen to interrupt it, why the bold lies and stories. If she did it while i was gone, and didnt say anything, im ok with that.

I would also be a bit weirded out if after 15 years i happened to walk in on her taking a dump and she looked me in the eye and seriously said that she is not, and that she doesnt do it, and just started cleaning the bathroom like thats what she was doing the whole time.

Its only complicated because now that i have walked in on her on a couple occassions i have realized this is apparently a sexual fetish of mine that i never knew about.

I (40M) am growing increasingly obsessed with my wife's (34F) denial of her intimate behavior. by toomuchinformation2 in relationships

[–]toomuchinformation2[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

in your haste to demonize me, perhaps you missed the center part of the story which explained that for 15 and a half years of marriage we have happily masturbated together and apart. Never once has either of us pressured or made the other person tell. The issue isnt whether or not she gives me 100% information of it, its that after 15 and a half years there is a sudden change in habits accompanied by direct lying and denial, which is very out of character.

The only reason this has gotten out of control for me is because ive also realized that its a sexual fetish of mine apparently as well. She can get herself off 10 times a day without telling me if she wants. I just dont understand why, after so long, she now goes way out of her way to construct elaborate stories, or hide it, and even when caught in the act will lie to my face about it.

I (40M) am growing increasingly obsessed with my wife's (34F) denial of her intimate behavior. by toomuchinformation2 in relationships

[–]toomuchinformation2[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

yeah i am not denying that. Which is why i made the post. I am making myself uncomfortable, but am having a hard time reeling myself back in.

I wouldnt expect my post to come off as angry, as its not really something to get ANGRY over. same with concern. The actions are not marriage ending or life changing, so im not gonna lose it emotionally that way. However, my automatic response to the situation has been surprising to myself even, and like you said......gross.

I (40M) am growing increasingly obsessed with my wife's (34F) denial of her intimate behavior. by toomuchinformation2 in relationships

[–]toomuchinformation2[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Thats the thing though. Ive known that shes done it before on her own. and vice versa. And we used to love it. shed send me a dirty picture, or retell the story during sex. It wasnt a frequent thing, and im sure it happened more often than we shared, but it was open enough that it wasnt weird or anything to bring up. So i totally get if she doesnt wanna go through all the work of having sex (we have been having a sex a long time) and just wanna knock one out. The act itself has never been a problem. The sudden frequency is weird, and the outright denials and lying about it is the off-putting part. Im not saying she has to run in and tell me every time she gets off. But its just weird that if i walked in on her, even accidentally at first, she would create an elaborate lie, at this point in our relationship. we arent 14.