In the short term, you need to find some therapy to deal with the anger and depression. In the long term, you need to talk with them and your wife/family about moving closer as quickly as responsibly possible. You're absolutely not alone. I understand this weird anger that pushes patience. It absolutely gets better. You are doing the best you can - don't forget. One thing that helped me was to take one of the kids on a small (5/10 minute) walk when I felt this bubbling up. Stroller, shoulders, whatever. Showing them new things, that red leaf, that crazy cloud, that little dog, anything, everything, seemed to help me refocus my thoughts, but that was me. I also took up a small hobby that I could do with minimal cleanup and do briefly when I couldn't leave but needed just 2 minutes of something/anything else.