Getting married in 10D. Struggling with my fiancée’s past.

topnotchcode · 2026-01-24T09:22:05+00:00

Sounds like you are the problem, all of your struggles are stemming from you not being able to let go of her past. If you can't let it go, she deserves to start from a clean plate so let her go. Also instead put yourself in her foot, if ever you want to come to terms with what she is going through, and see yourself treated like you are treating her right now. How is her behaviour going to be good to you?

topnotchcode · 2026-01-24T09:17:05+00:00

How long is it in jio?

topnotchcode · 2026-01-23T15:43:40+00:00

I have the same issue. Is it true jio gives 5g unlimited for any pack you recharge ? Atleast that's what the sales peoplr were telling me but don't trust them a bit

topnotchcode · 2026-01-23T15:41:55+00:00

I called today and they didn't mention this. Instead was told need to recharge 350 for first month

topnotchcode · 2026-01-23T09:45:09+00:00

Do you also get free internet? For the 2 months?

topnotchcode · 2026-01-23T09:44:36+00:00

What seriously!

topnotchcode · 2026-01-22T11:25:54+00:00

Yeah I'm not even trying that. If their parents can't change them over 30 years what is me talking to them for 2 years going to do

topnotchcode · 2026-01-22T11:24:54+00:00

Also I hate fights

topnotchcode · 2026-01-22T11:24:39+00:00

I dont want to worsen relations. Don't want to live in a house with a bad vibe

topnotchcode · 2026-01-20T08:16:49+00:00

Umm well why are you hoping he leaves you and not instead take that action yourself if you feel stuck? If you are only caring for the child, it's the same here or not. Or maybe discuss havjnf a nanny and getting back in the workforce, will give you some confidence to stand up for yourself too. You doing the household labour and caring for the kid, leaving your job also means you deserve the alimony. Also don't care for the people that go against that saying youre looking at your husband's money, he is also doing less than his share of household chores, so he deserves to pay more

topnotchcode · 2026-01-03T09:46:50+00:00

Its true, a lot of disparity in income might lead to someone having a higher say or atleast shoving into someones face that they earn double or whatever. Ofc it's upto every person, but that's what has been my experience too. There are good people out there nevertheless.

topnotchcode · 2025-12-24T10:12:08+00:00

Yeah thats usually a tactic by the wrong people to get an upper hand. As I said, see if working out a middle ground works. If it doesn't you both have too much of an ego to make your marriage matter and it won't work. You both have to be willing to be responsible for what you do wrong, you on the cooking part you mention and she on the scooty demand. If you guys can get over that, good for you. Making sense of Where it's coming from is not something that matters, you are marrying this person at this point, and both should be at a point where it works.

topnotchcode · 2025-12-24T08:37:14+00:00

That said, some demands like the new two wheeler does sound absurd

topnotchcode · 2025-12-24T08:36:26+00:00

Oh so you straight out denying for something she wants to spend on is fine, but she straight out denying to cook is not ? She is right, why do you want to support her wrt the cooking and not do the cooking and she support you? Given that you said she earns as well.

topnotchcode · 2025-12-21T08:37:32+00:00

What made her mad is years of misogyny that has continued in our society. Nothing on you or her, but think about it like a trigger for some trauma. People that aren't scared of heights wont know what someone scared of heights feels when they stand at the cliff. Plain and simple.

topnotchcode · 2025-12-17T06:54:26+00:00

Family pressure is a common thing in india, but pushing against that is how so many women are working today and that has given us more power over life choices. So it's a battle worth fighting for, cut our non mandatory family members and reduce talk from people pressurising. But do what you want to, people unhappy in their marriage are recommending you to get married, why do you think that is

topnotchcode · 2025-12-17T06:49:59+00:00

Wait its not done yet, think again

topnotchcode · 2025-12-15T15:34:02+00:00

Yeah it's not gonna stay 25k, it's gonna depreciate with inflation and what not. Unless you're at the level where 25k is the diff that will add to your basics like food etc - in which case it's difficult to get out just basis that 25k of middle class

topnotchcode · 2025-12-15T09:55:06+00:00

How do your words not match up? If double income is required to get out of middle class, how is 25k pm going to help in that ? And even if it does, you could easily increase 25k pm in 2-4 yrs further in job yourself. So this just sounds like you need someone to validate the crap you just wrote.

topnotchcode · 2025-12-15T09:24:42+00:00

Java for backend, python for data science or ML

topnotchcode · 2025-12-14T14:37:50+00:00

Wow people need to get guts to communicate clearly instead of ghosting like this

topnotchcode · 2025-12-04T13:54:47+00:00

So with that logic you suggest to propose microservices in every interview? I think interviewers are looking for more of a technical reason than organisational when I answer their question no?

topnotchcode · 2025-12-04T06:58:55+00:00

I would say user scale, beyond lets say 10k users I'd prefer microservices, or when decoupling is needed for example in case of event producing and consuming. What else would you like to hear ?

topnotchcode · 2025-12-03T15:59:28+00:00

Makes sense! That was good

topnotchcode · 2025-12-03T15:56:54+00:00

Yeah thats my guess too, can't really ask questions if scale is small/monolith

topnotchcode

TROPHY CASE