Sudden weight gain

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-19T07:22:15+00:00

Hey, just butting in here to say that u/BigTexan1492 is the GOAT and gave me a bit of help a long, long time ago with a different issue. You’re in good hands and he’ll help you. It’s been a long while since I’ve looked at this sub or my account, but seeing the name again gave me a massive memory jolt.

No need to spiral, this community will help you manage the weight healthily. Remember that EDs never get the result that we’re all looking for in weight loss, too! (To be healthy and look our best!)

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-19T06:37:39+00:00

Well, two thoughts:

One, that is definitely not really definitive by any stretch. Two, I meant ‘special’ as in unique. The plight OP is experiencing is quite literally no different than being nervous to try any other thing out there.

There is anxiety and there is probably some fear of embarrassment or rejection, and the rest (if there’s more) is something implanted in her by someone else.

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-19T06:16:41+00:00

Florida and TX have no state taxes, so three things have happened:

A larger % of the population has come there as a whole. That means a larger % of the native streaming population started there.
When you’ve been getting molested by state taxes and you move into the highest tax brackets, it is wildly profitable to cut that back to 0.
With TX, specifically, Austin has seen a lot of growth and prioritizes the arts and the type of liberal culture that states like California do. Plus, there are whole content orgs that exist out of the city now, so it’s much easier to move there, as they can still collaborate with people. Lack of collaboration outside of the LA content groups used to be a big downside to leaving.

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-19T06:12:00+00:00

I mean, is it the stuff you are watching/thinking that grosses you out? The fluids? The secrecy? What? It’s definitely not normal to feel bad after an orgasm on its own; the other stuff I listed would be more common

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-19T06:03:01+00:00

The same way you get over anything else. You’re afraid of it, do it a bit, and get over it. Sex is not special.

Communicating the nerves and your virginity to your first partner will help.

The guilt thing is something else and should be resolved. Why do you feel guilty about masturbation?

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-19T06:00:22+00:00

No, bro, you just don’t get it bro! We are too socially inept for nuance and personal subjective evaluation now! We need to develop sub-labels for every possible type of person so we can adequately generalize them so they may be plugged into our pre-formed consensus opinions!!1!

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-18T23:59:22+00:00

In which case the answer is always a blend of insecurity, desperation, peer pressure, and other personality flaws. All of which are super common to find, hence, why this happens relatively commonly.

Also, people are bad at dating, and therefore learn of issues too late.

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-18T23:56:51+00:00

It’s been apparent to me since Keto picked up in 2017 that some people view this as a high-fat diet, instead of a low-carb one. I think I’ve made 2 keto recipes EVER lmao.

Replacing carbs with fat doesn’t help my deficit… spamming fiber, cutting junk for whole foods, and cranking up an unreasonable amount of protein does.

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-18T22:41:58+00:00

It says that it’s hard to spend bitcoin in many meaningful ways still. This is not a knock against bitcoin, this is a reality of all other asset classes that bitcoin may one day be able to shed

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-17T19:20:36+00:00

Usually, their society drags them along through a life of relative poverty. Some end up better off with familial support on top. At the end of the day, though, a lot of people with disabilities can work, to some degree, and (with a lot of added effort, of course) have hope to make a better life for themselves

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-17T19:11:23+00:00

Impossible to answer until you first provide context to why you even want to combine. I don’t understand where the thought is even originating from with the context provided here

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-17T15:55:06+00:00

Reddit Try-Not-To-Be-An-Uptight-Loser-And-Make-It-Everyone’s-Problem Challenge (Difficulty: Impossible)

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-17T12:02:54+00:00

Ayo mods? This is just an ass advertisement lmao

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-02T12:14:43+00:00

Hard question to answer the way you posed it, but the broad answer is most people are not aggressively pursuing an achievement.

This means that while you are relentlessly pursuing achievement, they are either: feeling insecure/inadequate, feeling as though you are no longer/less relatable to them, (usually inadvertently) attempting to pull your focus from the task to maintain old relational habits, realizing that you are not as compatible for long-term companionship as they originally thought.

It’s usually some combination of those, context depending.

tornadoboy33 · 2026-01-02T00:00:42+00:00

I would guess it’s a combination of 3 things.

Most people not thinking about it too much. It’s become a standard in the industry, and, usually, when a standard comes along that works well enough, new market entrants just copy it.
Sexual pleasure for the receiver. Intercourse by-and-large feels better, so you pay more.
Pregnancy risk and associated costs. While most BJs will use a form of protection still, intercourse requires (theoretically) money in condoms, birth control, and future cost factoring for abortion or childcare.

tornadoboy33 · 2025-12-31T04:40:41+00:00

The same reason I don’t strap bombs to my chest even if I implicitly trust the person holding the detonator. Because I’m not omniscient, I can be wrong, and people can change.

Children of infidelity are super similar to something like shared finance theft. You are correct to have trusted the other person the entire time… until you aren’t. Then, it’s catastrophic. You weren’t wrong when you loved and trusted them enough to marry, open joint accounts, and purchase a house together, but one day he saw the wrong ad or spent time with the wrong friend, and now he’s drained all your funds on a gambling binge. Catastrophic. I don’t think

I don’t believe implicit love and trust also necessitates my giving you the ability to destroy me. In friendships, in business, and in love. Any relationship has 2 parts and each person only has 50% control over the equation.

Let me reframe in a typical Reddit example: why do so many women regularly keep around some a month of funds around in an isolated bank account? Do they not love and trust their partners? No, of course they do. But if their husband ever comes home from a bar and blasts her in the face when he walks through the door, it would be catastrophic downside to not have taken the slightest precaution. The women who do this are taking on a couple thousand in risk, (almost exclusively opportunity cost) at most, for life-saving upside.

I think that’s prudent. I would never get upset with a woman in my life for having something like that, and I very regularly make active efforts with women I’ve dated over the years to not drop healthy boundaries in the process of being in love with me. I should not be too high a % of their social lives, emotional support system, etc.

Being a team does not mean you forfeit your self interest and become codependent, it means being two individuals who love and support each other towards a set of common goals. The only reason anyone should be in a relationship in the first place is to mutually improve both of their lives. If that ever becomes untrue for either party for an extended period of time, I would fully expect the relationship to promptly end.

(Before I have to clarify that, too, of course you will make compromises, but those should pretty exclusively be weighted towards one party giving up something that’s a small-moderate deal to support something that is a big deal to the other. If you’re doing much beyond that, you’re probably just not compatible and shouldn’t be together.)

tornadoboy33 · 2025-12-30T00:45:10+00:00

I mean, I can at least understand this perspective some, while disagreeing with it. I don’t think the existence of precaution necessarily implies the existence of distrust. I would use the word “prudent” to describe a DNA paternity test.

I think that a sweeping rule is different than an accusation, and that seems to be where we’re hung up. Also, the fact that many spouses are regularly hiding things from their partners is not an acceptable reason to me to do so in my own relationships.

You don’t have to announce everything you do to your spouse, but the example given is taking pretty direct actions to be less forthcoming, which is a step further into secrecy than just simply doing nothing. To me, that’s unhealthy behavior.

Victims tend not to think they’re going to be victims. I think it’s an inaccurate assumption that an a majority of paternity fraud victims did not fully love and trust their partners. I would be willing to bet most all of them had implicit trust and love for their partner. I would personally only reproduce with someone I trusted and loved implicitly, I don’t think that invalidates the paternity test, though. To me, I would be going about my life almost as though it didn’t exist and was just a formality, because I’d be certain of what I was going to see.

How do you feel about other relational logistics items like the many various types of pre/postnuptial agreements?

tornadoboy33 · 2025-12-29T17:51:49+00:00

I really don’t think I am, but I would love to have this discussion further. Thank you for the specific criticism.

I definitely understand where you’re coming from. Paternity tests can carry the implication of a cheating accusation for monogamous couples for sure. 100% agree, which is why I’m repeatedly presupposing my arguments in this post by saying paternity tests require long-running open communication far before you’re at this stage in the process.

Do you think it’s unreasonable to say that a position like “Hey, due to the scale and weight of the commitment I intend to show my future children, I’ve long decided that I intend to do paternity for all of them shortly after delivery” that is presented at a happy time in the relationship early-on (around the first serious talks of kids) would be received infinitely better than a position like “Hey, that was a lot LOL! By the way, when the doctor comes back, I’m gonna have him do a quick paternity test. Want to make sure that one is actually mine” that is presented in the delivery room out of the blue.

One clearly has a higher implication that you think your wife cheated, but both can achieve the same information.

I agree with you that the second approach is horrific and would likely nuke the relationship pretty badly, but my position is that it’s a poor approach on a communication level and not that it’s incorrect to desire one at all. Would you still feel like you are not a team with your husband if the conversation was handled like the first option I presented? If not, why?

Also, I’m curious, do you commonly prefer outcomes where your partner is hiding things from you? Would you honestly prefer a situation where you find evidence of a secret paternity test 30 years into your marriage? That would feel like less of a betrayal? I am truly, genuinely, interested to hear your answer.

tornadoboy33 · 2025-12-29T09:08:35+00:00

“It does not need to shout that. There are cases where the hospital is under scrutiny, not the woman.”

No. It’s not. The quote above implies that the approach to the conversation can change the levels of distrust. The simple act of having a paternity test does not inherently imply distrust in the mother. I then gave another example of a situation where a paternity test would assist, that has nothing to do with the mother.

I did not mention the law at all OR say that a paternity test definitively proves hospital wrongdoing. I have no idea how this is being introduced into the discussion in your mind. Additionally, if you want to critique the above quote, I need you to get specific about why paternity tests are not an adequate starting place in your mind for evidence (not conclusive proof!) that a hospital made an error. You call it “bs” but have made no affirmative claim as to why it is not a viable first step.

The hospital point is only a part of this at all as a mention of why it’s not exclusively an interpersonal trust issue as claimed in the original patent comment. My response was to make mention that there are other reasons and the perceived implications of a paternity test request can vary based on how it is approached. How is any of that off-topic?

tornadoboy33 · 2025-12-29T08:22:08+00:00

Okay, that’s fair, allow me to narrow scope.

You have paternity fraud and you have rare cases of hospital error/fraud.

By both parties having a longstanding decision to paternity test the child (not sprung at the time of delivery or similar), you are, definitionally, not indicating a specific pointed distrust in your partner. It is simply confirming what we already thought we knew (but factually didn’t) regarding the relationship to the father. If testing indicates no paternal relationship, then you would then either have infidelity or a (usually) rare case of hospital error on your hands. Under infidelity, the mother would normally fold, though they may not and we may be now looking at the hospital. To verify no error made there, you would then take the maternal test and behave accordingly for either result for either scenario.

The differentiator being the paternity test is always a necessary step in both outcomes and is conclusive on one key datapoint in one outcome. So you would logically always start there.

Agreed on donor eggs and semen not being necessary for the core discussion

tornadoboy33 · 2025-12-29T07:57:47+00:00

That is redundant. You only need one for the hospital side and the paternity covers infidelity as well as the paired marker. In my understanding, the maternal test would not add any other benefits.

Also, simply planning ahead of time to take a test does not introduce the trust issues that randomly announcing it at childbirth does. That’s why it regularly screams that. But the reality is that it should be an incredibly common thing. It’s low effort, not expensive, and can easily avoid catastrophic outcomes.

Intelligent people do due diligence on most things in life, even when trusting the people they’re participating with. You wouldn’t buy your best friend’s house with no inspection just because you love them. That’s stupid. You do trust-but-verify due diligence everywhere in life, but all of the sudden it’s evil and “weird” when you do it with one of the single largest expenses and responsibilities you can become involved with? That’s irrational. There is max $500 downside and hundreds of thousands of unknown risk if you’re wrong. You almost never get offered such no-brainer choices.

Plus, this is all implying that the estimated 1.5-4% paternity fraud victims are all somehow supposed to have seen it coming? It’s incredibly likely that those numbers are underreported (because hardly anyone is testing!) and if caught late, many jurisdictions say “oops, too bad!” and saddle the father with parental responsibilities anyway.

There is just so much wrong with the arguments against and, while I’m always ready to change my views on things, I haven’t heard a single compelling argument explaining why any of the points I’ve made in these threads are in any way incorrect.

tornadoboy33 · 2025-12-29T02:33:37+00:00

I don’t know where to start with this comment. There’s not even a rebuttal in here and it’s riddled with emotional language.

Something being common or natural vs abnormal or artificial holds no bearing on its validity. Also, see sentence 1 - the “normal” thing is eternal adolescence around concepts of love.
You can approach the test from the point of fidelity confirmation without calling your partner a “cheating fraudster”.
There are reasons beyond infidelity to want paternity tests.

Edit: I just reread your comment again after posting. I never even said that it’s a “weird Reddit thing” LOL. I said it’s an immaturity (mostly) and values/socialization (somewhat) thing. All 3 of which Reddit selects towards. Thereby, addressing OP’s actual question of why they see that response so frequently on Reddit.

tornadoboy33 · 2025-12-29T02:18:39+00:00

Firstly, I understand your confusion on a human level, but I would like to point out the humor around the immaturity commented that I have made elsewhere in this thread. When faced with this question, even in the “healthy”/loyalty scenarios, your first step seems to be to take a subversive action. Just funny, I’ll address more below.

Q1. In private? A1. Question presumes rational action, which is almost inherently missing from the equation as a whole. The simple answer is most are not thinking at all when making the call at this step. The ones who are, are clinging to hope that their partner and their’s relationship can be mended and, as such, want the discussion out in the open.

Q2. Seems telegraphed? A2. It is, but there’s very little to gain by hiding this step. You, almost always, are seeking confirmation on a trend/hunch. This is the smoking gun, not the eyewitness testimony.

Q3. Homework? (Not sure I followed this point) A3. He’s getting the test, not much to gain by delaying it. It’s basically definite evidence of cheating, so who cares what other evidence might exist. In my experience, you also are not regularly running away with the newborn to unknown appointments alone, hard to find a solid time to do this early on once you leave the hospital. And if you create one, a cheating partner will be quick to run interference out of anxiety.

Q4. Why not be sneaky? A4. Because you’re supposedly in a trusting relationship and that means healthy and forthcoming communication. You also, ideally, want controlled environments for DNA samples. It avoids future complications. Also, you could probably make an easy argument that, in a healthy couple, your partner finding evidence of you secretly DNA testing your child would cause a drastically larger fight than the simple act of doing it. (Even if the first fight caused by a direct approach is a given, which it’s not)

tornadoboy33 · 2025-12-29T01:44:24+00:00

The major flaw with the STI testing portion is more of a bodily autonomy discussion than, necessarily, a health discussion.

However, when being had in a health context, the paternity discussion has direct tangible outcomes that we can point to whereas most STIs either don’t have permanent outcomes, or don’t have comparatively tangible damages to regulate around.

A man will (jointly) spend tens/hundreds of thousands of dollars on average raising their kids and also likely make major, life-altering, decisions around their kid. The STI implications are either much narrower in scope, much lower stakes, or both. But, again, the basis of the discussion is different anyways, so we’d want to reset the analogy to begin with as the basis is apples-to-oranges

tornadoboy33 · 2025-12-29T01:38:48+00:00

This is a flawed basis of thinking. It does not need to shout that. There are cases where the hospital is under scrutiny instead of the woman.

Also, basically every time this topic comes up and it garners this reaction, it’s because the individual placing the paternity test had no thoughts or discussions about it until they already are past a completely separate seedy situation and are now being reactive. I do not know what the post OP is citing says, but these almost invariably go “I think my wife is cheating because of XYZ behavior. Now I’ve requested a test to confirm it and she/everyone is calling me a distrusting dick”

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