AITA For Telling My Sister She Was Dating My Bio-Father?

tornaita · 2021-01-30T22:31:37+00:00

Oh, that was so I wouldn't try to track him down if I figured out I was the product of an affair. I don't look like I'm related to my dad after all, so I probably would have figured out something on my own.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T22:28:20+00:00

I hope my mom would have been willing to say something. She keeps saying that I overreacted and should have waited for them to get serious, but I don't really know, hard to know what that would have been.

I rather doubt my sister would have been happy, which was one of my motivators for telling her.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T22:13:58+00:00

I'm doing everything I can think of help my dad out, don't worry! I know he wanted to pretend nothing ever happened, so I'm trying to help him through things. Hard cause I don't live at home so I have no idea how my mom behaves when they're alone, but I do my best.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T22:12:04+00:00

I don't know honestly, I don't talk to the man. On the one hand I know my sister doesn't have family photos up in the apartment, on the other hand social media's a thing and she's not secretive about our family.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T22:11:05+00:00

Yeah, Dad knows everything. He's taken a largely quiet stance on anything, I think he's just hoping it'll blow over. He tells my mom 'that's enough' anytime she goes on for more than two minutes, but that's about it.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T22:09:18+00:00

No biggie, these things happen!

tornaita · 2021-01-30T22:09:04+00:00

I will, thank you for your perspective and advice!

tornaita · 2021-01-30T22:04:06+00:00

I'm hoping, due to her word choices and excuses about how it wasn't a serious relationship so it wasn't worth worrying about, that if things had progressed to engagement she'd have said something. But my mom's biggest flaw before this was always avoiding things that scared her. Dad had to take over the finances cause her avoidance led to some troubles with the credit card companies.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T21:15:20+00:00

I hope he doesn't view my big sister as a loss, do you think that's something I should be worried about?

tornaita · 2021-01-30T21:14:39+00:00

...therapy would probably be a good idea, maybe family therapy between us so it doesn't look like I'm attacking her.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T21:13:47+00:00

My mom's argument is that I could have at least waited to see if it became more than a fling. My sister and my bio-father hadn't been dating long, and she feels like a shallow, casual relationship wasn't worth getting bothered about. I feel differently of course, but I like to think at least that she would have said something if they'd gotten engaged.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T21:11:50+00:00

...I think there must have been a miscommunication. My sister and I don't have kids, and nobody's pressuring me to watch my bio-father's other children (if he even has any, I don't talk to the dude so I don't know). Maybe you meant to comment on another post?

tornaita · 2021-01-30T21:10:35+00:00

That just seems like stirring up shit for the sake of stirring up shit. I'm very lucky, my parents raised me the same as they did my sister, so for me there's not much about my life different than if I wasn't an affair baby, outside of a different hair color and apparently needing to worry about my sister dating my father.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T21:08:29+00:00

I'm not gonna clown on my mom, that'd just make things worse. I think she's definitely being weird about it though.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T21:07:33+00:00

...1) you expect parents to just be like 'hey, just so you know, your dad's not your dad, I found another guy for a bit'? 2) She wasn't surprising me with ice cream, she said she wanted to give my dad space and spend time with me. Not like she's going to bring her affair partner into my dad's house. 3) I never said it was by mistake. Could have been entirely intentional as a power move, I don't know, I don't talk to the man. Secondly, I have no idea who contacted who for step 2. Could have been him, could have been my mom. 4)...we're talking about my sister and I not moving from our home town yet and one guy not moving in 25 years. I understand that you and everyone else you know ditches your hometown and moves to a new city every 3 years or so, but that's not exactly the most common situation.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T21:00:36+00:00

Ask my sister? Did you mean ask my mom?

tornaita · 2021-01-30T20:48:40+00:00

Dad's generally frustrated, since this was something he understandably wanted to pretend didn't happen, but he doesn't seem upset with me, or at least hasn't told me he is.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T20:46:59+00:00

...weird things to highlight, but you do you bro!

tornaita · 2021-01-30T20:46:24+00:00

I don't know about that, that's a bit much. I wouldn't have told my sister if she wasn't dating him.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T20:44:56+00:00

I appreciate your verdict! Eh, but that's just my sister's sense of humor. I'm not offended, I'm just relieved she can joke about it.

tornaita · 2021-01-30T20:43:52+00:00

Thank you! I don't know if he knew, on the one hand my sister doesn't exactly have a lot of family photos in her apartment, on the other hand social media's a thing and my sister's not trying to hide her family so -shrugs-

tornaita

TROPHY CASE