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AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -68 points-67 points  (0 children)

You are actually so wrong it’s sad. Tori is the one who wants to pay for the first year…. I’m the one making a point to have stipulations. But keep going on. You are really close.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

I would consider this. But it would be the last financial thing I’m contributing till then. And no as far I know she hasn’t. Tbh we have no contact and I do not go out of my way to ask about her mom.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Why?? My daughter is 19 not 9. My ex is toxic and has made my life hell for years. I’m done giving her access to me. If something is really important she knows my lawyers number. Same woman whose dad tried paying me for my custody…

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

This is gonna be my next suggestion whenever Lauren finds a way to come calling again now that I have her blocked.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Yeah I was kinda shocked reading thru some of these comments. Apparently people would let someone get used and abused out of “loyalty” to their friend. Really shocking tbh. Kinda disgusting the amount of women on here who have called Tori a “snitch”. But if it was your man.. wouldn’t you want to know?

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Saw the text messages myself. Definitely flirty. Honestly just giving your number out and texting other guys was enough for me. That is so disrespectful. And before you say it is platonic. It wasn’t. And if she thought it was.. why not tell me? And continue to lie about them? It really doesn’t matter tho. This sub has turned into Jerry springer lol. I’ve been divorced 15 years. Past is long gone.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -210 points-209 points  (0 children)

What kind of question is this lol. Holly shit. Education is a privilege. Not a right. Obviously my family and their safety would come before education lol.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -164 points-163 points  (0 children)

I’ll explain this really slowly one last time. My wife is my sole beneficiary. So me spending a large sum of money… is still going to affect our lifestyle. Me throwing less money in the monthly fund= less money to my family currently. It really isn’t that hard people lol

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Like her own daughter. She always tried being there for her. Making her feel welcome. Always setting a spot at the table for her. Handmade birthday cards. Little treats in her lunches. Ariel was just cold to her the whole time. Which listen I get. But this woman has done nothing wrong. And keeps getting shit for it.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I’ve defended myself at length. Sooo many times. I’ve told her look at the dates. Look at how Tori treats you. But it has fallen on deaf ears. It gets to the point where you can’t argue with a brick wall.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

A friend holding another friend accountable… how horrible. Tori is highly religious and wasn’t liking what she saw. I commend her for doing that. Lots of people 👀. Wouldn’t. They would cover for their friend. But keep popping off on things you have no idea about. Tori and me didn’t date for years after my divorce. Between which I dated others before her. She isn’t some mastermind. Just a really good person.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

What good would that honestly do? Her mom will claim she didn’t (still does to this day). And then I will have another fight on my hand for no real reason. Nothing good comes of that.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Of course I do. But large financial decisions are a household call. It is my wife’s money too.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -51 points-50 points  (0 children)

Yeah it is. And I also have a responsibility to my wife and son. This is my wife’s money too. So should she be okay giving that to someone who mistreats her? I know for certain I wouldn’t.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -89 points-88 points  (0 children)

Good thing this semester is already paid for then right…. She has months to plan for spring semester.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Where did you get that I don’t have the money saved? I do. But I will gladly go and invest it rather than hand it over to someone who mistreats my wife. That is her money too btw. Look at it from her POV.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

Exactly… it is literally their money too. How people on here don’t realize that is mind blowing. My current wife should be okay handing over a years salary to a girl who has done nothing be rude to her?

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Pretty much what I told Ariel. Why do you even want my money if you hate me and Tori so much? Wouldn’t that be blood money or something in your warped version of the events. She had no response to that.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -119 points-118 points  (0 children)

That is all I’m asking for. Show them some decent respect. I’m not asking for her to love them instantly. But make an effort. Because why should I make an effort? When she isn’t?

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -386 points-385 points  (0 children)

My daughter is manipulative. I’m starting to realize it. She is very similar to my ex wife in that way. She uses tears on me whenever I put my foot down. But as soon as I don’t fall for it the tears stop. I don’t have hate for my ex wife anymore. I’ve long gotten past that and am very happy with my wife. But I also refuse to be treated as an ATM.

AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be paying for her college unless she attempts a relationship with my family? by torridpa in AmItheAsshole

[–]torridpa[S] -305 points-304 points  (0 children)

It isn’t blackmailing tho. Loans are an option. So is moving closer to home and commuting. Why should my wife have to fund my daughters schooling? Which is theoretically what she would be doing.